And We Didn't Even Have to Win the Super Bowl!

My friends, in less than two weeks, this is happening:

I recorded the kids' immediate reaction, but it was very sad and hilarious (sadlarious?) because they have no in-depth concept of time. ("Oh! Cool. We're going WHEN WE GET BIGGER??" "No, but REALLY SOON, guys." "We're going TONIGHT?!" "Oh, forget it.")

Once they understood a little bit more about when they were going, and what exists there, we were all very, very excited.

J has been to Disney World once in his life, as a seven year old, so he basically remembers nothing.
 I, on the other hand, have been a number of times, all noteworthy in their own right:

Age 2: Meet Donald Duck. Proceed, per family legend, to have horrific, shriek-filled nightmares, all centering around Donald Duck's beak for the remainder of the trip.

Age 5: Apparently in a ballerina stage, I wore a series of leotards throughout the trip, and the only good picture of me is with the fat wolf sheriff from Robin Hood. This will become a theme.

Age 15: My grandparents took our entire family on a Disney cruise with a stop in the World itself, to celebrate a milestone anniversary. So nice, right? Yeah, QUID PRO QUO: We all had to wear matching oversize silk-screened t-shirts with a family picture, and "THE [LASTNAME] CLAN" emblazoned on it in red, 987-point font. Again, I was 15. Imagine, if you will, the vision of me, in a XL shirt, bloused out of pinstriped jorts, and Doc Martens, with matte raisin-colored lipstick, braces, and an expression like a hobo just shat on my shoes. RESPLENDENT.The only good picture of me is with an elderly man and Jafar, side by side.

Age 17: As I've mentioned in the past, I went to a very religious private all-girls high school. Somehow, we convinced them to allow us to go to Disney World for our senior trip. What they lacked in a bare collarbone/elbow/knee tolerance policy, they made up for in trip choice-related laxity. The only good picture of me is directly after I was felt up by the fat monkey from the Jungle Book. Do you see my arm positioning? PROTECTING MY BIDNESS. My modestly-attired high school self was scandalized!

Age 21: This was a time of my life punctuated by numerous good decisions, chief among them -- at least during my trip to Disney World -- getting my face painted like a toddler and purchasing a beaded, sparkly crown and prancing around like a fancy lady-slash-idiot.

Age 31: AIEEE! This is the second time we are taking the kids on a plane trip, and the last time was over two years ago. So, this could be a breeze, or I could want to off myself mid-flight. O, THE EXCITING MYSTERY OF IT ALL! And so, I ask you: what are your tried-and-true flight distractions for young kids (a 5 y.o. and a 3 y.o., to be specific), aside from the obvious (DVD player, snacks, tranq darts)?

Also, we are so thrilled about taking the kids to the park, and have plans about what we THINK would be good, in terms of schedules/attractions/rides, but --again -- what do you know that I don't? If you've gone to Disney World (and/or any similar gigantor park) Were there any things that were a huge hit (or a disastrous horrorshow) with your young kids? Do I bring a stroller for my five-year-old? WILL I GET PTSD FROM DONALD DUCK'S BEAK? Lay your knowledge on me!

Y Winner!

And the winner of the Y Me! giveaway is...

#4, Beverley! Congratulations, Beverley! Please email me (metaliablog [AT] gmail [DOT] com), and the print will be on its way.

2011: The Recap

Every year, Sundry does this great year-end wrap-up post, and invites everyone to play along. And so I shall!


1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Bought a house, got a job I'd been dying to get, and saw a nude man doing jumping jacks down Wall Street.


2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


I'm not really much for resolutions; I don't think I'm ABOVE them, or anything, it's just not my thing. My overall philosophy is "Be positive, work hard, be a good mom, wife and friend, and generally don't be an asshole." I'm sure there's room for improvement in all areas, but that's pretty much what I guide my life by, and I think I did okay this past year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My cousin, and a bunch of friends.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

NO JINX NO JINX LA LA LA LA LA

5. What countries did you visit?
 None, but I did get to visit LA (albeit briefly) and Seattle (ditto), two places I've never been before.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
 I can't think of a thing. Wait, perhaps finally getting our act together in the new place, and getting window treatments that do not consist entirely of old fancy shower curtains. (OH YOU THINK I AM JOKING.)

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
 The day we moved, the day I got the job, and the day I realized my son could really and truly read.
.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

 Going for (and getting) the aforementioned job.

9. What was your biggest failure?
 Not keeping in touch with friends enough.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, aside from my brush with Vitamin D deficiency, J would tell you that no, I have not. But he apparently doesn't understand how FREQUENT TOE STUBBINGS can be exceedingly painful, and how I basically need a telethon in my honor and NO I WILL NOT JUST WEAR SLIPPERS COME ON



11. What was the best thing you bought?
House. Purple suede heels. Perfect trenchcoat. Kindle Fire. (The last one was a gift from J, but let's just include it here.) Nars Flamenco, the perfect red lipstick, at last. (Thanks again from the recommendation, Sarah.)

12. Where did most of your money go?
 Mortgage, school/camp, and J.Crew.


13. What did you get really excited about?
Making the new house into our home, so Luther Vandross would stop singing that song on my front lawn, all guilty-making, at least in my head. Some great concerts. The laundry chute IN said house. 

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

"All At Once" by The Airborne Toxic Event. Apparently they've been around forever? But I only heard them for the first time this year? And fell hopelessly in love? And listened to this song (and the rest of their catalog) approximately 8,734 times? And also it's the best?

Also, "We Are Young" by Fun. I only heard it for the first time about a week or so ago, and so it's a late entry in this category, but I defy you not to listen to it on repeat.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Happier; I felt like a lot was up in the air, where-we-gonna-live-wise, and it was stressing me out. I feel settled, and it's a relief.
– thinner or fatter? The same, I think.
– richer or poorer? Richer, though I'm not buying a top hat and monocle anytime soon. 


16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spent more time with friends, read more (hola, Kindle Fire), written more here, and worked out some semblance of an actual fitness routine.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Second-guessing myself.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
 We celebrate Chanukah, and spent it with our extended families, and of course, our own little family.

A highlight was telling the kids this:

19. What was your favorite TV program?
Friday Night Lights. The League. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
The Dovekeepers. Cutting for Stone. THE IMPERFECTIONISTS OMG LOVE. Blueprints for Building Better Girls. Little Bee.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

The Airborne Toxic Event, FO SHO.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Another Earth, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Bridesmaids, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo


23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
 It was low-key, and at home, and my husband gave me this.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I loved this year, honestly--so many huge changes, for the good.


25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
 Business casual meets Audrey Hepburn and also Serena van der Woodsen.

26. What kept you sane?
 Friends, near and far, my husband and kids, and good music.


27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

 The people who are tough (yet fair) with you are the people who teach you more.

To st
llow things, and not to be afraid to apologize.

That I have no idea what I'm doing as a parent, but my kids know they're cherished, we have fun, and so  I'm okay with this.

To not be afraid to just ask the question. The worst that can happen is that I'll hear "no."



 Happy New Year!

Y Me! (Wherein I write a post with all my sentences in alphabetical order.)

As you may know, Secret Agent Josephine recently published three children's books, and is currently "out" on her virtual book tour. Brenda is someone I've known and adored ever since I began blogging eons ago, and so when she asked me if I'd be a stop on the book tour, I said YES YES YES.  

Clearly, she is talented; I love her and her work, and am thrilled to be a part of it.  

Do you, as I do, have young children in your life? Even my older kid was enthralled by these books, but my preschooler was utterly transfixed, particularly with the ABC's one. 

For just $2.99, you can download any of the electronic titles to your Kindle, iPad or Nook. Gorgeous colors and inventive illustrations pop off the screen! (Her absolute favorite was the letter "U for  Underpants" page, as you can see, above.) In London, April's a Spring month. Just so you know, the books are all available in hardcover, as well. Keep track of SAJ’s Stealthy Book Tour here. (there are clues to collect along the tour!)

Lovely as all of this is, there's ALSO something in it for you. Ms. Secret Agent Josephine is offering an 8x10 print of "my" letter, the letter Y, from the ABC book, to give away here on this blog, hence the alphabetical theme I've seen fit to impose upon myself here, as I love a challenge. No crazy rules, or anything, just tell me your favorite "Y" word in the comments. One winner will be chosen after comments close a week from today, Monday, December 26, 2011, at 11:59 EST. Piece of cake, right? Quick and easy! Rest assured, the print is awesome:

Sounds fun, right?  

• To recap, here are some quick links to help you find the books: 

iPad/iPhone: ABCs, Colors, and Numbers.
Kindle: ABCs, Colors, and Numbers.
Nook: ABCs, Colors, and Numbers.
Paperback: ABCs, Colors, Numbers.

•  Until XXXX, you can enter to with the print. 

•  Visit Secret Agent Josephine’s blog or Facebook to follow the tour!

What are you waiting for? Xenon to change its form of matter from a heavy, colorless and odorless gas found in very small quantities in the Earth’s atmosphere, or something? (I AM SORRY, X is hard.) You, sir or ma'am, are NOT. Zip on over and check out SAJ's books, and leave a comment below by Monday the 26th to win a Y print of your very own.

Good luck!!

The Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 Rap

Bella Swan representin’ up in 360!

(Nooooo, I didn’t have to Google search that area code!)

Edward’s gonna marry me- we ‘bout to have some fun.

Too bad my ring looks like it’s from Forever 21.

I’m only 18, but I make such good decisions.

Here I come, all dressed in white, I’m truly a vision.

I don’t need no college, yo, I’mma be his wife.

I’ll get my education in the school OF LIFE.

By “life,” I mean “death,” cuz a vampire I’ll be.

Soon after the wedding of my boo Edward, and me.

But hush, now; hush! It’s on the DL, son.

Keep it like a secret up in Area 51.

Jacob is enraged at this – quelle surprise.

He’s all were-pissed and fursplodes, running off into the trees.

I’m focused on my wedding night, not that son of a gun.

I got 99 problems, but that wolf ain’t one.

We fly to South America, to our own private isle!

I’m Mrs. Edward Cullen, but I’m full of nervous bile.

Like the Starship Enterprise, steered by Captain Picard,

We on a big-time mission:  It’s to cash in my V-Card.

Without delving into detail, I’m no longer a virgin.

The crashing waves! The ocean breeze! Right there, among the sturgeon.

The bed, it breaks; the feathers fly, the candles flicker so.

Is…this a Twilight movie, or a Meat Loaf video?

Somehow, I’m pregnant by a vampire, which seems so insane.

It’s just as bad as Superman knocking up Lois Lane.

In my defense, he is mad old, and already sorta…killed.

Who’da thought I ever woulda needed Tha Pill?

The wolfpack then finds out the news, and takes it all quite well.

Just kidding! They freak out and vow to send us to hell.

They have some…psychic werewolf fight, ‘bout how and if they’ll strike.

Not unlike a Nevernude, it’s just what it sounds like.

I’m pregnant with a demon spawn, it’s taking my lifeforce.

But I’m full of blissful martyrdom, I ain’t got no remorse!

Since I’m feeling so pale an’ sickly, I drink a blood smoothie.

And like the 59^th Street Bridge song, I am feelin’ groovy.

Hark! My back is broken, but not so much my water.

All the same, the baby’s coming, and I’m ‘bout to be slaughtered.

Blood! Bitey c-section! And also, there’s a baby.

It’s vampire! It’s human! I’m dead! Kind of! Maybe!

Edward vampire-bites me, so as to bring me back.

And let’s be honest: ‘cuz I’m a delicious ladysnack.

The venom courses through my veins; it’s ever so bizarre!

And boom—my eyes pop open, like that scene in Avatar.

We’ll be back again soon for Part 2 of Breaking Dawn;

To fight off some Volturi, and make their asses gone.

So much is uncertain, on one thing we can agree.

 “Renesme” truly is a name of timeless cool beauty .

Recently, I...

Celebrated our eighth anniversary:

Contemplated bangs. Again. Poorly.

 Met many people, including Big Jumper, the self-named unsung hero of the first Thanksgiving:

...his sister, Mademoiselle Butterfly:

...and LaRaconteuse:

Ate your soul:

Visited J's office (decidedly the winner of the unofficial Parent-With-the-Coolest-Office Contest I decided to run, just now, between the two of us.)...

And saw the city through their eyes.

Commenced working on my masterpiece, The Twilight: Breaking Dawn rap. It's...it's a work in progress.

And you?

Review: Dove Nutrium Moisture Body Wash

Every year around this time, I feel it coming, and it arrives without warning. 

Oh, people LOVE to romanticize cooler temperatures, and crisp fall air, but beneath the autumnal leaf veneer, I know what’s coming: DRY SKIN. NOOOO.

I was recently asked by BlogHer and Dove to review Dove Nutrium Moisture Body Wash. Not knowing what Nutrium was, but intrigued by the “moisturizing body wash” part, I happily signed on, hoping that it would help me stave off any cool weather-related dry skin woes.

Now, ordinarily when I review products, I like to take a picture of myself using them, but there are some lengths to which I will not go. Suffice it to say that I did utilize the body wash in the shower. Swearsies.

I’m a fan of a good rich lather, and the Dove Nutrium Body Wash had it is spades. It quickly and cleanly rinsed away, but left my skin nicely moisturized. I was also pleasantly surprised by the scent. I’m a bit persnickety when it comes to scented products, but this was very light; it smelled clean and fresh on my skin in the shower, but didn’t compete with my perfume at all once I was out and dressed. The true proof of the body wash’s effectiveness came a bit later--I didn’t need to slather my legs with body butter like I usually do this time of year. I’m not certain if I’ll completely be able to swear off my beloved body butter as we ease into winter, but the Dove Nutrium Moisture Body Wash body wash is definitely going to be a part of my routine.

While we’re on the subject of routines, I have a few little things I do each day, that make me feel…centered. I don’t mean in some hippie, sage-burning drum circle way (UNLESS THAT IS YOUR THING OH MAN I AM NOT JUDGING), but rather, just...ready for the day. I shower at night before I go to sleep, and when my alarm goes off at 5:45, I hop out of bed (as much as anyone ever hops at 5:45 AM), and get myself together. I apply my sundry face lotions and makeup, slip on my outfit (like a toddler, I pick out my clothes the night before), and head out into the city. I try to get my brain running by catching up on my Words With Friends games, and once I arrive at my destination, I pick up my morning iced coffee (light and sweet, please) and head upstairs to my office, ready to face the day. I love my routine, and taking those few moments to myself to nourish ME, inside and out. (Did I just say that? I just said that.)  

What about you? Do you have a YOU routine? How do you nourish yourself each day?

Answer that question, and you will be entered to win a random drawing for a $100 SpaFinder gift card! 


The contest runs from 11/21/11 through 12/21/11.

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry

methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

There are more chances to win here.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older.

Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail.

You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be

selected. 

Here are the official rules!

Please don't make me feel any dumber than I already do about the "Come Undone" thing.

(Disclosure: I received tickets to a Duran Duran concert in exchange for sharing my thoughts about the show. All thoughts are my own. Particularly those regarding the chorus of "Come Undone," as will soon become clear.)

Last week (before the power outage that overtook my life, but that is a post for another day), I was asked to attend the New York show of Duran Duran's US tour. I've long loved the band. I grew up watching the Pop-Up Video version of "Rio" (Side note: What happened to Pop-Up Video? BRING BACK POP-UP VIDEO.), and singing "Ordinary World" into my toothbrush. And even though I STILL don't know what I'm singing when I shriek the high part of "Come Undone," all these years later, I'd never seen them in concert, and immediately said yes.

J and I showed up at Madison Square Garden and made our way to our seats, and I immediately started sharing with him my list of what I always THOUGHT the lyrics to the high shrieky part of "Come Undone" were. It's called being a great conversationalist, and I am the master of it.

LIST OF MY PERCEIVED LYRICS TO THE HIGH SHRIEKY PART OF "COME UNDONE"

1. Cannot believe you got me now boy; you believe it?  Come on and see you breakin' my heart to pieces.
2. Common to see the fall in two parts, ooh, steamy. Common to see you bade my heart to peace, yeah.
 
Needless to say, he was riveted.

An exciting Google search revealed that the answer is "Can't ever keep from falling apart at the seams/Can I believe you're taking my heart to pieces." Who knew? SERIOUSLY NOT ME, FOR REAL.


Fortunately, the show soon got underway.

Simon  Le Bon took to the stage in amazing sparklepants that could be viewed from space, and he, along with the rest of the band (and a few special guests) proceeded to rock the hell out of the Garden. They played a lot of the classics (The Reflex! HUNGRY LIKE THE MEEEEEE!), and, since the band has a new album out, they played a lot of new stuff, as well.

Duran Duran put on a really great show -- regardless of whether or not we knew every song -- because they just seemed like they were having FUN up there. I've been to a lot of concerts (remind me to tell you guys about the Snoop Dogg one sometime, and how I did NOT participate in the onstage bootyshake contest.), and you can generally tell when the band is into it. These guys had a ton of energy, and really came across as though they were enjoying themselves as much as the audience.
 
In all we had a fantastic time (see?)...

...and I highly recommend checking them out when/if they come to a city near you!

L.A. Story

A work-related event found me hurtling through the sky, L.A.-bound a week ago today. Things came together quickly, so that I barely even had time to worry about flying, which is good, because we all know what can happen when I do that, which is, oh, I don't know, frantically run to the nearest available TSA agent to report upon two passengers engaging in what appear to be suspicious activities, when, in point of fact, they are US Air Marshals doing some pre-flight Air Marshal Stuff. Oh, me. It's really just a matter of time before you end up on the Bad List.

I've never been to LA  (unless...do you count a visit when I was a toddler? Me, neither.), and so I was the wide-eyed ingenue, staring at palm trees (which...I've totally seen before? So I have no idea why I did this?) and craning my neck to catch a glimpse of a Kardashian or two as soon as I hit the ground. What my visit lacked in Kardashians, it more than made up for in palm trees. And a visit with two of my favorite ladies. 

When I mentioned to Sarah and Rebecca that I was coming to town, we worked frantically to squeeze in a visit.  Because this was such a fast trip, I had about ten minutes to plan for the few hours of free time I had in town Sunday evening. Sarah scored us tickets to the fun (and Mad Men-themed!) OC Blogger Bash. Our plan: Hang out in my hotel room getting dolled up in advance. The three of us are old-time (in blog years) friends, so this would be fun under ordinary circumstances, but said fun is compounded EXPONENTIALLY when you factor in that the last time the three of us saw each other, I was seven months pregnant.

 What is up with my bangssssssss

With a child who is now three. Needless to say, it's been a while. Geography is, like, the worst.

You should also factor in the stream of makeup/hair/fashion-related emails we frequently exchange (recommendations! questions! enabling! YOU ARE WELCOME, SEPHORA), such that the opportunity to actually see each other AND have a reason to do Extra Fancy Hair and Makeup together in the same room? Well, we were very excited, indeed.

Sarah brought a Mary Poppins-like bag of magical hair things, and taught me and Rebecca the answers to some of life's important questions, like "What is a sock bun?" and "What product can I use to get my hair to stay put when I'm trying to make it do some vague, stewardess-y windswept '60s thing oh lord help I have no idea what I'm doing?" Together, we all extolled the virtues of the perfect red lipstick (Nars' Flamenco: WINNER.), compared our latest makeup purchases, and waxed poetic on the glory that is the Haribo Gummi Peach.

 

The event itself was lovely (and who DOESN'T want to see my one-woman impression of two seventh-graders with crushes on each other dancing to a slow song at a school dance?), but truly, I hold a special place in my heart for the (too) few hours I got to hang out with two of my dearest internet friends.

Sigh. Geography, man.

Etch-A-Sketch Animator 2000: A love story

I turn 31 tomorrow. Or today, depending on when you're reading this. Or yester--okay, my birthday is now-ish. September 26th. Let's go with that.

This past year was full of good, big things. A new house. A new position/promotion I worked hard to get. Kids seamlessly adjusting to the move, and losing their minds with joy over their own rooms, their own swing set. Good, big things.

J had been asking what I wanted for my birthday, and honestly, I couldn't think of anything. ANYthing. It wasn't some Secret Lady Ploy, either. I genuinely couldn't think of anything I wanted. Which is weird, but whatever. I figured we'd just go out for a really nice dinner, and I would be -- really -- perfectly content. I have everything I need.

*  *  *  *  *

The Etch A Sketch Animator 2000 was the toy I always wanted as a kid, and never got. It was love at first sight for me, and I could think of nothing else. I imagined all the amazing things it could do, and daydreamed of having one of my own. It had come out right around the time I started losing my baby teeth, and I would pen these lengthy notes to the Tooth Fairy each time I lost a tooth, casually (and KINDLY, I thought at the time) inquiring as to how she was doing, before launching into what can best be described as plaintive, heartfelt, uh, begging for the Etch A Sketch Animator. I would carefully tuck the note into the tooth-shaped pillow my mom had sewed me, along with the tooth, and I'd burrow under my covers, wriggling like a puppy. I'd try to stay up, but at the same time, force myself to sleep, knowing full well that the Tooth Fairy wouldn't show up until I was really and truly asleep. I'd hope that this was the time, and the Animator would be MINE.


In the morning, there would be a little gift, like a Barbie, or some money, and a note, always a note, shaped like a tooth. Every time, the note told me how things were going for the Tooth Fairy, and then apologized, telling me there simply weren't any Etch A Sketch Animators in Tooth Fairy land that time, but maybe one day, if I kept being a good girl, and brushing my teeth well, I would get one. The note left out, of course, that the true Tooth Fairies couldn't really swing the expense of a $50+ toy for me at the time. I  just kept brushing well, and never stopped hoping. 


*  *  *  *  *


A while back, J and I were talking about our favorite childhood toys, and I mentioned this story. The conversation went on, turned to other topics, and I didn't give it a second thought.


For my birthday, I came home to a box, which contained this.

He found it for me.

I sat with it for a while tonight, playing (it still works perfectly, and it's everything I thought it would be, even 24 years later), and tearing up. Not for the toy, but for the effort, for the memory, for what my husband thought to do for me.

Like I said, I have everything I need.