Chow Time?! Really?

Earlier today, I was reorganizing one of our bookshelves (exciting!), and came across the most entertaining book ever. It is a mystery as to how it appeared in our home, but I'm sure the title alone will give you a glimpse as to why it is so funny: Am I Weird or Is This Normal? Advice and Info to get Teens in 'The Know' The book is hysterical. I think it necessitates multiple posts to adequately convey the hilarity, so for today, I'll leave you with these interesting tidbits. First of all, the title of this post is, according to the book, slang for a certain act.* This is news to me, and probably to you, as well. The most important information, though, comes from the chapter on meeting people ("Getting it On," according to the book). Here's what I've learned, and I'm passing this valuable knowledge on to you. Apparently, guys rate the following three lines to be the best icebreakers: 1) "Hi" 2) "That's a cool shirt!" 3) "Want to dance?" I'd pay good money to see some poor impressionable teens attempting to put # 3 in action at, say, the bus stop. Or a place of worship.

The book then helpfully tells you to expand the conversation, and give this scintillating example:

"I'm learning to snowboard. It's really different from skiing. " Stay tuned tomorrow, when I walk you through the book's "10 Sexy Alternatives to Sex!" I'll give you a hint; one of the sexy alternatives involves "crooning your song!" Sexxxxay! *For which, by the way, the book gives really uncomfortably detailed instructions.