Sunday, November 12, 2006
On Ham and...Uh, Sausage?
Every summer, we go with my parents and brothers up to the Poconos to a beautiful lake house. (Fortunately for us all, Keanu Reeves does not inhabit this one.) We generally have the best time, just relaxing, swimming, golfing (some of us, anyway),...and hanging out at Super Walmart. Before we started going up to the house, my brothers, my husband and I had never seen the inside of a Walmart, let alone a Super Walmart, such as the one here; we didn't have one locally. In any case, there is no end to the countless hours of entertainment to be found in the Super Walmart. I'm fully aware that they're killing the heart and soul of America, but really, how can you be upset at a store that carries the following fine merchandise? (The following pictures were taken clandestinely with my cell phone at the store this summer, in direct contravention of their "no pictures" policy. I live on the edge, I know.) Disturbing Item # 1 The most disturbing part of this lovely box o' "Red Eye Gravy and Country Ham" flavored grits is that I had actually thought it was Maple and Brown Sugar flavored oatmeal (same color, am I right?) and had placed it in our cart without noticing at first. *shudder* I can't make out the small words underneath, but I'm almost certain that they're bragging about the inclusion of real ham pieces in the grits. Yummy! Disturbing Item #2 Nice, right? Classy, no? I just love how Walmart, the store that purports to be all wholesome, and bans: a) "Inappropriate" Magazines b) Music it deems offensive for any reason (including this), and c) A potato chip delivery man who looked too much like Osama Bin Laden, ...somehow allows this in its stores. Maxim is out, Sheryl Crow accurately singing about the fact that Walmart carries guns gets her CD banned from the store, but this...this is okay?! Oh, Walmart. You are an enigma to me.