Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Viva La Revolution!
Now that my iPod has inexplicably died on me (boo), I've started paying attention to peoples' conversations during my commute. I was just on the train, and overheard this guy and his friend chatting. The guy, garbed in these faux-vintage hipster clothes (HATE!), starts recounting to his traveling partner how he totally "screwed" Safeway (I'm assuming this is a Target-esque store? Help me out here…) by stealing a Christmas tree from their lot 5 days before Christmas last year. His daring and complex plan apparently involved hoisting it over a fence after closing. He was literally bragging about this. Now, I ask you, is there anything more pathetic than a 30-something dude bragging to his friend about stealing a Christmas tree? Furthermore, he was exceedingly proud of himself and what he had done on a societal level; I distinctly heard the phrase "stickin' it to the man." Listen Costanza, "the man" isn't the one you're punishing here with your courageous and radical blows against the bourgeois; it's the minimum wage store employees that are ultimately penalized. "The man" is relaxing at home, or his country estate. You know how people are always saying "[blank] isn't what Christmas is about?" Now, I don't celebrate Christmas, but I'm fairly confident that I can still say with some modicum of authority that stealing a tree is most definitely not what Christmas is about. Especially when you can clearly afford your $180 jeans and $90 sweater that I know you ripped those holes in yourself, since my brother just got the same exact one, and it's from Banana Republic. (Banana Republic- Truly, the store for revolutionaries!) Jerkass. Now, a more pressing issue: Why, oh why is ABBA's Fernando running incessantly through my head, such that, despite the busted iPod, I still had to download it from iTunes?! It's been stuck there for days; I'm so very disturbed.