Wednesday, November 1, 2006
You Sexy Thing
I must make an observation that has plagued me around this time every year. It's Halloween, and the time comes to select a costume. Lately, it seems that every woman has opted to slut up her chosen costume, no matter how inherently unsexy the basic costume idea may be. I'm sure I could pontificate here about the impetus for this, perhaps something blaming the rise of Paris Hilton and her ilk, but literally a million people have discussed that before me, and better, so I'm going to leave that alone for now. So. My real point is, if you want to be a whore for Halloween, then go for broke, own up to it, and be the dirtiest whore there is. Or French maid. Or Playboy Bunny. Something that makes sense. Why, for instance, does one need to be Sexy Strawberry Shortcake? Strawberry Shortcake is a doll for small girls. Small, innocent girls not attired in green striped thigh highs. Other common offenders are the costumes intended to represent the civil servant professions; the sexy policewoman, for instance. A real police officer's outfit consists of unflattering polyester pants and an equally ill-fitting blouse. Not a black miniskirt, handcuffs, and, you know, your boobs. Are you dressing up as a sexy bee, rodent, or livestock or any kind? Also not hot, and if you think about it, the "sexifying" of such creatures is really really disturbing. I mean, I'm sure there is actual bee porn out there (and I'm petrified to even google that, let alone link to what I'd find), but I don't think it's mainstream enough to warrant a costume. It's not that I'm against sexy costumes; they just need to make some sort of sense, and not be, upon inspection, horrifying on numerous psychological levels.