While I have definitely maintained the sentiment I am about to discuss for some time, I must give credit to the extremely funny Guinness Girl’s recent haiku which mentioned this very topic. I had, quite frankly, been hesitant to post about it, because, like her, I feel that it’s an unpopular opinion. But she has paved the way, and for that, I thank her...Because this (albeit trivial) subject has been bothering me for quite a while.
The issue? Jack Black, and the fact that he’s not funny to me at all. I’m sure there was a time, in my halcyon youth, where I found him amusing. And it doesn’t bother me if someone else likes him; it’s just that he’s not doing it for me anymore. He’s smarmy, you can just tell that he thinks he’s so incredibly funny, and he very often appears unwashed. Also? Not to sound petty, but Nacho Libre looked awful, as does The Pick of Destiny. (Note: While I have not seen either, the intense awfulness of both have been confirmed by my friend, K.)
My annoyance with him, however, reached a new high last weekend. J and I were watching SNL, and Tenacious D (the “band” of which Jack Black is a part) was the musical guest. (We have such thrilling Saturday nights, no?) I don’t think I’m exaggerating much (if at all) when I say that it was the worst, most discordant musical performance ever imposed upon the collective ears of mankind since the dawn of time. An affront to sound, if you will. I suppose I could go into great lengths in an attempt to articulate exactly why I can’t stand him, but looking back, I think that our conversation while we were watching him “perform” will probably do it better justice:
J: I know; this sucks on so many levels.
M: Oooh-his eyes are bulging out again, and he’s gesticulating wildly! His hands flying up into his face…he’s so into His Art!
J: How is that any different from what he’s been doing the past 4 minutes?
M: Touché. Wait, wait! He’s over-enunciating! He almost never does that!
J: By never? I assume you mean that he hasn’t stopped since the song began. Or since he acquired the power of speech.
M: That would be a correct assumption on your part. Oh, there he goes again with his goddamn tongue, and his lalalalalala-ing. You know something, J? I do believe that he uses the word “mighty” in every song. Like “mighty steed” and “mighty robot.”
J: Yes, speaking of which, can you explain to me what the hell a 7-foot tall robot is dancing and attacking people on the stage?
And….scene.Am I alone on this one?! And now, apropos of nothing, here is the newest picture of The Boy: