While I have definitely maintained the sentiment I am about to discuss for some time, I must give credit to the extremely funny Guinness Girl’s recent haiku which mentioned this very topic. I had, quite frankly, been hesitant to post about it, because, like her, I feel that it’s an unpopular opinion. But she has paved the way, and for that, I thank her...Because this (albeit trivial) subject has been bothering me for quite a while.
The issue? Jack Black, and the fact that he’s not funny to me at all. I’m sure there was a time, in my halcyon youth, where I found him amusing. And it doesn’t bother me if someone else likes him; it’s just that he’s not doing it for me anymore. He’s smarmy, you can just tell that he thinks he’s so incredibly funny, and he very often appears unwashed. Also? Not to sound petty, but Nacho Libre looked awful, as does The Pick of Destiny. (Note: While I have not seen either, the intense awfulness of both have been confirmed by my friend, K.)
My annoyance with him, however, reached a new high last weekend. J and I were watching SNL, and Tenacious D (the “band” of which Jack Black is a part) was the musical guest. (We have such thrilling Saturday nights, no?) I don’t think I’m exaggerating much (if at all) when I say that it was the worst, most discordant musical performance ever imposed upon the collective ears of mankind since the dawn of time. An affront to sound, if you will. I suppose I could go into great lengths in an attempt to articulate exactly why I can’t stand him, but looking back, I think that our conversation while we were watching him “perform” will probably do it better justice:
Me: Wowwww.
J: I know; this sucks on so many levels.
M: Oooh-his eyes are bulging out again, and he’s gesticulating wildly! His hands flying up into his face…he’s so into His Art!
J: How is that any different from what he’s been doing the past 4 minutes?
M: Touché. Wait, wait! He’s over-enunciating! He almost never does that!
J: By never? I assume you mean that he hasn’t stopped since the song began. Or since he acquired the power of speech.
M: That would be a correct assumption on your part. Oh, there he goes again with his goddamn tongue, and his lalalalalala-ing. You know something, J? I do believe that he uses the word “mighty” in every song. Like “mighty steed” and “mighty robot.”
J: Yes, speaking of which, can you explain to me what the hell a 7-foot tall robot is dancing and attacking people on the stage?
M: I. Don’t. Know. Oh, thank god. It’s over.
And….scene.
Am I alone on this one?!
And now, apropos of nothing, here is the newest picture of The Boy:
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7 comments:
is that the fatest slash cutest baby ever? i think so.
The delicious chubbiness is killing me! SO ADORABLE!!
I liked Jack Black in School of Rock. I also developed a crush on the 12 year old guitar player in that movie so my opinions may not be too trustworthy.
OMG. The cuteness is KILLING ME.
LOVE the anti-Jack Black rant! Although - Wilman and I saw "The Holiday" last night, and he wasn't too terribly annoying in it. Only mildly so! Weird. Then again, as Wilman pointed out - they definitely limited his exposure...
And thank you for calling me funny!
Yeah, but did you see him in King Kong? I dunno, call me crazy, but I thought he was pretty good in that role. What's that you say? He didn't play the ape? Are you sure? Computer graphics, you say? Well, I'll be! So which was Jack Black? Oh? I see. Well, I take it back then. My bad.
PS - you may not have noticed this - and you may want to look into what it might mean, but that baby looks just like you! I'm just sayin...
i was so sad when my home computer didn't let me see the picture. Luckily, my work one does. HOW CUTE??? I'm loving it....
Your baby is beyond delightful into full-fledged fabulousness.
I have a soft spot for JB b/c I once dated a guy exactly like him, to a "t," like, if JB hadn't got that part in High Fidelity, my friend Peter would have. (same guy is how I know that sketch comedy writers are often too clever for their own good)
That aside, I have a hard time imagining a female equivalent of JB playing a romantic lead (or - at all?) which makes me mad about the double standards in hollywood.
But then I look at your cute baby again and smile.
Awww, thanks y'all! (Can I pull that off? No? Okay, let us never speak of this again.)
Eli--I know it's hard to believe, but his cheeks have actually shrunk somewhat.
Amanda--I too loved the 12 year old guitar player! You know he wasn't a real actor, just a kid who was awesome at guitar? They saw a video from him at band camp, and subsequently plucked him from obscurity to become....uh, 12 year old guitar player in School of Rock? (I was obsessed with him for a bit, you see. That's how I know this useless information.)
Guinness Girl--I have a bit of a girly crush on Cameron Diaz, so I wanted to see that anyway; I'm so happy to hear that Jack Black wasn't too annoying. I think I can deal with him in doses...and you are very funny; you had me (and, if it counts for anything, J) at the Tapdancing Terror of Tidewater ;)
DEA--Lately, everyone is saying he looks like me.
nonprofit slave--thanks, yo! btw? we need to schedule a playdate for the handsome little men, stat ;)
cheesefairy--thanks! So is your little guy! (I know it's unoriginal, but I love his eyes; you know, the ones you got on e-bay?) Re: JB...See, with him, the funny thing is, I can sort of see his appeal; that is to say, other people can find him entertaining, and it doesn't bother me; it's just that sometimes? When I watch him? I want to kick him in the face, just a little bit.
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