(Ah, much better. Super-cute quilt courtesy of super-artistic grandmother.)
...And let's say the little boy's wonderful, responsible, and all-around lovely nanny hypothetically requested that you procure a mesh laundry bag in which to wash said boy's socks. The basis for such request was that the sockthirsty (...what?! Bloodthirsty is a word; this should be, too...) washer/dryers in your building were apparently devouring his teeny tiny socks, and causing situations such as these...
(Think anyone'll notice?)
Anyway, let's continue to hypothetically say that after a search for such a bag, this is what the quest yielded:
(Lindsay, Britney, and Paris, take note: This is a picture of UNDERwear. You wear it OVER your vajayjay. I can make a small diagram if this is too complex.)
...Would you, hypothetically of course, ignore the fact that the bag was festooned with cartoonishly large hot pink bras and underwear, and proceed to use the bag anyway for your male child's tiny baby socks?
Because that, my friends, is totally the (hypothetical) plan.
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15 comments:
Yeah you use the bag! And sweet bejesus is that boy cute.
Gah the cheeks!
Metalia, did you try bed bath and beyond? they sell PLAIN mesh bags for said delicates. I dont think your little one will really KNOW the difference, so use it anyway - but its just so interesting to me that this is what your search yielded.
I'm with Nonprofit Slave. What kind of fancy-schmancy shops did your search entail? I don't think I could find a bag printed like that if I tried, but I know they've got the plain old white ones at Target.
That said, I think the printed one is actually pretty hilarious, so go with that as planned.
I would totally use it. You could wash your delicate underthings with the baby socks, no?
I, for one, would love to see that diagram.
What Christine said.
Although your nanny may take pictures of the bag and post it on her blog with the caption, "Look what my crazy boss makes me use to wash her baby's socks!"
I'm sorry - I know everyone's caught up in the laundry bag discussion, but uh, did you just say "vajayjay?" Because I think you did. Vajayjay.
The laundry bag, on the other hand, makes perfect sense. It's for delicates. Sure, the fact that is says "delicates" is probably sufficient for much of the population, but what of the other .0001% who might need the visual help?
And sockthirsty is definitely a word. I have a washer/dryer IN my apartment and some socks still manage to escape. To where, I do not know. But I have posted little guard towers and barbed wire around the permiter of the washer/dryer and will make an example out the next sock that tries any funny business.
-D
PS - I look forward to reading your blog more than i do The Onion and the Best Buy catalog combined.
Oh, you absolutely use it, confident that your (adorable!) boy is totally secure in the masculinity of his socks. Hee.
oh my gosh. that sweet little boy? with the chubby cheeks? and overall edible-ness? is cute. i want him. please send him, FedEx, ASAP. i'm sure no one will mind. except me. if you don't.
OMG! The socks! So damn cute. SO CUTE.
Christine--Aww, thanks! And yeah, I think I'm gonna use the bag.
Nonprofit Slave and...
Stefanie-- I'd love to say that I went to The Fancy Baby Boutique Of Wonders in the mesh bag search, but believe it or not, the bag is actually from Bed Bath and Beyond. I don't know, maybe I stumbled into the kinky one or something. And yeah...as the bag totally cracks my shit up, we're gonna use it.
Amanda-- See, you are very clever; that is a fantastic idea!
Digital Janitor-- Perhaps, if this current trend of celebrity vajayjay flashing continues, I shall create just such a diagram.
R-- Thanks! And I'll be honest with you; we are so enthralled with our nanny, she could ask me for anything, and I'd probably say okay. Like, "sure! You want me to make you a freshly baked pie? And then you want me to place it atop my head, dancing the Roger Rabbit all the while? You got it!" I'm not proud, but it's totally true.
DEA--Dude, EVERYONE is saying vajayjay. Get with it. Thank you, dear friend, for recognizing the validity of the word "sockthirsty."
Lizgwiz--Aw, thanks :)and you're right, his manly li'l socks do butch things up a bit.
Jes--Hee! Next time he gets up at 4 am? He's yours!
Jonniker--Thanks! I've inexplicably turned into something of a baby sock afficionado... didn't see that one coming, I must say.
That is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen. I am sure he makes tons of people want to slather him in caramel sauce and gobble him up entire.
Agent of Distraction-- Awww, thanks so much! While he has gotten much cheek pinching, hugging and general cuddles, slathering him in caramel sauce (one of favorite treats evah) is possibly the one thing we haven't yet considered. Hmmmm....
I'm thinking you could totally use it. If you're worried about causing said nanny brain melts, your grocery store might have a plain one :) Lovely baby - how do you keep from devouring him up!
I mean, for YOU, the totally inappropriate sock bag is great, but for ME, I don't think I would ever touch it with a 10 foot poll. That being said, I probably wouldn't even eat my fro-yo with you in a certain University cafeteria (and then purge it of course, leaving me without enough energy to lift my 16 carat diamond bearing finger out of my throat). That being said, you might want to try Nordstroms - I've gotten some very nice "delicates" bags in the their stockings dept (home of the BEST black tights ever).
And your delicious baby grows cuter and cuter every day. We must have a playdate soon, so my more jealous than life 2 year old can freak out when I look his way.
As for your use of "vajajay", my husband loved that you used it.
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