Friday, January 5, 2007
I possess a...unique ability. You see, I have the dubious knack of always buying the one busted item in the store. Allow me to explain. I can walk into any store, find a rack of 100 of the same sweaters, buy one, take it home...and realize it's missing a button. Or it has a hole. Or a "police evidence" tag. Whatever. The point is, I inevitably forget to check this stuff out in the store, and it is not until I remove the tags and toss the receipt that I realize that the item is faulty in some small way. Mind you, it's never reduced, or on a sale rack so that the imperfection is justified; no, it's always something that has camouflaged itself amongst the perfectly good brand new stuff. Anyway, I've known about this for a while, but now, my debatable talent has reached a new level. I inadvertently purchased a gay picture frame. Literally. A while back, I was in a cute little shop in the village, looking around for some frames, and I spotted this little number. There was a preponderance of gag-inducing frames with stuff like "Honeybun" "Sweetie" and "Love of My Life" emblazoned on them, so the simplicity of this one caught my eye. "Together," it said. I liked that; it was so minimal and clean. And it had little stick figures holding hands. Awww. So I bought it and put in a picture of J and me at our engagement party, and never thought about it again until now. Fast forward three years. I spend a significant amount of my time caring for a baby with a stalwart anti-nap platform. Recently, he fell asleep in my arms, and I, petrified to move (for fear of waking him), started staring around our bedroom. My eyes happened upon the picture frame, and I noticed, for the very first time, that it was two male stick figures holding hands on the frame. I thought back and remembered that the frame that had said "Married" distinctly had a lady stick figure and a man stick figure on it. I had to know... Did I call the company listed on the sticker on the back? Yes, I did. (Because it can't be said enough, I am crazy.) I spoke to a very nice guy named...Brig? Brick? who informed me that it was, in fact, a frame "in celebration of alternative lifestyle choices." There is a part of me that finds it hilarious that I am so oblivious as to have missed this. For over three years. And also, that my power, once relegated to buying screwed-up sweaters, has evolved to the point that I purchased a picture frame intended for an entirely different sexual orientation than my own. And yes, I'm still using it; it's adorable! What do you think...would you have noticed it?