Friday, January 5, 2007
Caveat Emptor
I possess a...unique ability.
You see, I have the dubious knack of always buying the one busted item in the store. Allow me to explain. I can walk into any store, find a rack of 100 of the same sweaters, buy one, take it home...and realize it's missing a button. Or it has a hole. Or a "police evidence" tag. Whatever. The point is, I inevitably forget to check this stuff out in the store, and it is not until I remove the tags and toss the receipt that I realize that the item is faulty in some small way. Mind you, it's never reduced, or on a sale rack so that the imperfection is justified; no, it's always something that has camouflaged itself amongst the perfectly good brand new stuff. Anyway, I've known about this for a while, but now, my debatable talent has reached a new level.
I inadvertently purchased a gay picture frame. Literally.
A while back, I was in a cute little shop in the village, looking around for some frames, and I spotted this little number. There was a preponderance of gag-inducing frames with stuff like "Honeybun" "Sweetie" and "Love of My Life" emblazoned on them, so the simplicity of this one caught my eye. "Together," it said. I liked that; it was so minimal and clean. And it had little stick figures holding hands. Awww. So I bought it and put in a picture of J and me at our engagement party, and never thought about it again until now.
Fast forward three years.
I spend a significant amount of my time caring for a baby with a stalwart anti-nap platform. Recently, he fell asleep in my arms, and I, petrified to move (for fear of waking him), started staring around our bedroom. My eyes happened upon the picture frame, and I noticed, for the very first time, that it was two male stick figures holding hands on the frame. I thought back and remembered that the frame that had said "Married" distinctly had a lady stick figure and a man stick figure on it.
I had to know...
Did I call the company listed on the sticker on the back? Yes, I did. (Because it can't be said enough, I am crazy.) I spoke to a very nice guy named...Brig? Brick? who informed me that it was, in fact, a frame "in celebration of alternative lifestyle choices."
There is a part of me that finds it hilarious that I am so oblivious as to have missed this. For over three years. And also, that my power, once relegated to buying screwed-up sweaters, has evolved to the point that I purchased a picture frame intended for an entirely different sexual orientation than my own.
And yes, I'm still using it; it's adorable! What do you think...would you have noticed it?
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19 comments:
Ha! It is indeed adorable, and I don't think I'd have noticed it at all. Hee!
This all reminds me of when my friend T-Bone showed me her Christmas wrapping paper, with cute little Santa Clauses on it. I look at it a while before saying, "Um, T-Bone? Did you know these Santa Clauses are, um, African American?" Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course, but...yeah.
Just looking at the frame by itself I never would have thought it was for two guys. I think it's cute. :)
I always get screwed at restaurants instead of stores. I'm the person that gets less french fries or the messed up order. Always.
:)
Um, those aren't hands they're holding!!! Yikesa!
Actually, I think you were tipped off in that you bought the frame in the village. All things in the village (people included) are presumed to be of an, er, alternative lifestyle, until proven otherwise.
By the way - you could add a horizontal line at the knees of one of the figures to make a skirt and then two curly lines at the head to symbolize female hair (you can copy straight off of the women's restroom symbol).
You've seen 40-Year Old Virgin, right? "You know how I know you're gay? You buy gay picture frames..."
~Dan
I just spit water all over my computer screen. No , I wouldn't have noticed. It's a cute frame and it's always nice to celebrate diversity.
Dude. I would have never noticed it. Maybe get a knife and whittle in a skirt? ;)
I never buy the one broken thing, but only because I stand there and look at every single item for a year. I'm pretty sure the employees at Target refer to me as "that damned woman who shakes all the DVD cases."
I would have never noticed it either. Can you draw a little stick figure skirt onto one of the dudes?
No! I never would have given that a second thought! I thought stick figures were gender-free...kind of like barbie -I mean if you draw big hair on them, or a skirt - ok they are female, but do you actually add gentitals to erase any doubt? No, no no.
God, I thought stickfigures were an attempt to reduce the human race to it's simpliest form. Again, the world is suddenly more complicated than I once imagined...
An honest mistake, I would say. I don't see any dingly-danglies on the stick boys. (Though, really? That would rule.)
I am with Love Monkey on this.
And may I say you are one hot couple!
I love it, and I would never have noticed.
Also? You're an exceptionally good looking couple! ;)
When I draw stick pictures of myself (which is often, because I can't draw worth diddly), I never add a skirt. I always draw the generic stick figure... so I say keep it. It's cute!
GG -- Hee! It took me three years to notice it, and I only did because I was staring intently at random crap around the room out of sheer boredom. :)
Paisley -- That happens to me too! Either my order is messed up, or they're out of the thing that I want.
DEA -- I actually like the frame as it is; don't want to ruin it with a skirt line. :)
Chupieandj'smama -- I know; it's totally cute; who cares who it's actually for?
Chirky -- I could do that, but I kinda like it!
The Other Girl -- I need to be more like you; I think it'd save me a lot of trouble. And money spent on holey sweaters.
Steve -- I actually like the two little guys. :)
Love Monkey -- I know, I'd always thought so too, but after specifically remembering that the "married" frame was a guy stick figure and a skirted lady figure, I was curious, hence my call to the company...who'd have thought?!
Special K -- I think dingly-danglies is my new favorite euphemism.
R -- Hi, new best friend!
Jurgen Nation -- And same to you!
Don't Call Me Ma'am -- I'm definitely keeping it; I love it. I also never make myself a skirt when making stick figure drawings of myself, but what I *do* do is make myself hair (always in a flip, for some unknown reason...).
I, also, have a knack for bringing home damaged goods. My biggest mess-up was when I bought a long gray zip-up sweater, tried it on first and even wore it once or twice before realizing that there was some kind of mistake in making it, that one sleeve was the normal fitting "small" size, while the other sleeve was hugeley baggy and covered my fingers. I was too lazy to return it, so I just wore it with the "extra large" sleeve rolled up.
Ironically enough, I married a guy who practically turns his clothing inside-out, searching for imperfections, before he'll buy it.
Bwah! Hilarious. I don't think I'd have noticed. But I do like how one is waving. Waving in celebration of alternative lifestyle choices!
Haha! I so would never have noticed that. I love that you called the company, too.
I like the forward and progressive idea that a lady stick figure does not necessarily have to wear a skirt. Didn't our foremothers fight for decades for our right to wear pants? I consider your frame a bold endorsement of women in pants. (You know, because there are no more important causes on which to focus your energy... women in pants is what I'm proposing you get fired up about.) ;-)
Also, I love the fact that you called the company to confirm your suspicions. That's hilarious.
Sweet Jesus, that's hilarious and SO like something I'd do.
I have the same talent, and I've tried to compensate by never taking the first of something on a shelf. Like, if I'm buying a DVD, I'll pick up the copy that's two or three behind the first one. It works sometimes.
I would not have noticed. I don't think of stick figures as gender-specific unless they have the skirt. That said, aren't you lucky you didn't grab the one with two skirts? Now, that would be hilarious.
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