Just the FAQs (Or, if you prefer...FAQ You)

In response to the “Delurking Week” Questions, I’m posting a list of your frequently asked questions, as well as some that were emailed to me, and finally, a few I just made up for the hell of it (just kidding). Note: Some are things I’ve mentioned before, but it is my hope that by including them again in the FAQ list, people will get their answers in one place. I’m full service like that. (...That’s what she said.)

What’s a “Metalia?”

Metalia is actually my middle name.

Ummm...what does Metalia mean?

Good question! My name is a mutt of two names; Meital, and Talia. Hence, Metalia. All together, it means, "from the dew of god." As you might expect, I frequently get tons of email from people who either: a) think I run a heavy metal website, b) think I lead a metalworking group, and of course, c) are Sailor Moon freaks. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, AND YOUR FANFIC SICKENS ME!!!

How do you pronounce "Metalia"?

I suppose it’s most like this: m’TAL-ya.

Where do you live?

My address is…haha, suckas! I’m not giving that away. Unless, of course, you bought me something pretty. I will, however, tell you that I live slightly north of NYC.

Pancakes or waffles?

I’m actually more of a cereal girl. Golden Grahams, Fruity Pebbles, or Crunchy Corn Bran/Puffins.

Red or white wine? Red, always, preferably somewhat dry. White wine gives me a headache.

Where was your last overseas trip?

Israel. I was 2 months pregnant at the time. Hey, you know what’s NOT fun to do while pregnant? Taking an 11 hour transcontinental flight, hurling all the while, and getting into a passive/aggressive seat fight with the douchebag sitting directly behind you, who, every time you leaned your seat back even the tiniest bit (between barfing, of course), he pushed it back up with his knee. Yadda yadda yadda, I broke my toe. And then, of course, hurled some more.

If you could live anywhere in the world (money, work, family, citizenship, etc. notwithstanding), where would you choose?

Probably someplace warm, though I have to say, I absolutely love living so close to NY.

If I stuck my finger up my nose, would you lick it? (My finger, not my nose.) Chirky! Gross! The answer is: If the price is right.

Do you check your stat counter a lot?

At least once I day. I only really started checking it when I saw all the weirdass google searches that were bringing people to Stefanie’s blog, and I wanted in. To wit: Dear Iran, I do not have any “pictures underthings” here. Keep on walking.

Does it bother you that I sometimes put my punctuation marks OUTSIDE my quotations?

Girl, please. I may have been a literature major, and I do strive to be grammatically/stylistically correct myself, but I couldn’t give one tiny little rats ass about that...(How many of you caught the fact that I omitted the possessive apostrophe at the end of “rat’s?” Good! That concludes today’s lesson. Help, I can’t turn it off.)

What song do you hate more that anything?

“Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” makes me want to rip out my car stereo by its stereo-roots, and dropkick it far, far away from me.

What’s your favorite word?

Flibbertigibbet!

Why do you call your son "Toopweets?" Because it was, bar none, the weirdest name in our baby name book. Naturally, once we found it, we addressed my pregnant belly as such for the duration of my pregnancy. I ran a baby nickname contest to help me pick out a blog-name for him, but everyone seemed to like this option the best, so Toopweets it is.

Do you have siblings? If so, how many? Yep; I have two younger brothers.

One is an actual math genius. When he was in seventh grade, and I was in high school, WE WERE DOING THE SAME MATH. It’s true; I was in the “Ooh…math is NOT your strong suit” class, and he was in the “Um…you’re too smart; here’s a high school math book; go do…something” class. Brother number two is the one with the questionable taste in hair products. He is presently in high school, and is incredibly talented with music and art, and works at Abercrombie and Fitch. Apropos of that, he looks exactly as you’d expect him to.

If my brothers and I were all one person, we’d be an unstoppable SAT-taking machine…with mad guitar skills. And probably some major gender issues.

Are you a religious person?

I was hoping someone would ask me this!!! Why? Because I had an idea for the title of the post (i.e., “I don’t even BELIEVE in Jebus!”). Unfortunately, there wasn’t really all that much content, so it ultimately didn't get its own post, and into the FAQ it went. Sigh... Anyway, the answer is definitely yes; and I’m Jewish. I am also fascinated with learning as much as I can about other major religions. My most recent foray in this arena was Under The Banner of Heaven. (Extensively researched, impeccably written, and super-depressing, in case you were wondering.)

Are you really as bad at math as you say?

Allow me to put it this way: If an arithmetic-crazed gunman put his pistol to my head and said “Metalia, do some trig!” I’d be a goner. If we were to go out to dinner, and the time comes to pay, I will smile and nod my head enthusiastically as you tell me how much I owe. Meanwhile, I could’ve just agreed to chip in the entire contents of my checking account, and my left kidney. Such are my math skills.

What's your favorite picture of your baby so far?

I LOVED this question! It's not so much about how he looks in it, but this is just such a sentimental shot for me:

What confounds you?

The continued popularity of Sting (I have an admittedly irrational hate-on), the existence of mock turtlenecks, and the mass appeal of fingerling potatoes. People! They LOOK like FINGERS!