Reading Between the Lines

When we were at my parents last weekend (i.e., the visit wherein I obtained the Spelling Bee pictures), I also stumbled across my fourth grade Creative Writing booklet. This was, essentially, a year-end project for each grade in my school, which necessitated each student to submit stories and poems that they'd written during the year. The pieces were then laid out, and handsomely bound, by which I of course mean, taped onto paper, and photocopied. Fourth grade was apparently a big year for acrostic poetry. For me, anyway. (I completely forgot these even existed; did anyone else have to write acrostic poems in elementary school?) What's that you say? You want to read my poem? Well, all right. But perhaps you should remove your socks first, as the awesomeness of my words may knock them clean off: The tawny color of a tiger Is as beautiful as Gold. And when it twitches its Ear, it Reflects against the Sun. There may or may not be an accompanying illustration of a tiger, which, yes, I drew. I'll give you a minute to bask in its glory. Anyway, the thought occured to me that an incident which transpired last week could be made much more fascinating and expressive through the magic of acrostic poetry. Behold: One thing you should never do, unless you absolutely Have to, is assume. For example, I stepped on a guy's toe this morning in Starbucks. Under the impression that he was a he, I turned and said, "Sorry, sir!" Can you guess what happened next? KILL ME ! I will go out on a limb here, and guess That perhaps SHE was most displeased with my incorrect Assessment. Good one, Metalia. In my defense, however, it was Really hard to tell; she had quite a Luxuriant moustache. See? Isn't that much more interesting than "I mistook a lady for a dude?" **************** J is assisting me in judging the "strangest thing you've ever found in your bag/wallet/manpurse" contest. Inasmuch as he is presently sleeping, the judges' decision will be rendered tomorrow night. (Feel free to submit stuff until then.)