J and I have always been big readers. While we tend to enjoy many of the same genres, there is one he likes that I simply cannot abide. (I think he feels the same way about my occasional Nanny Diaries-genre tendencies.) The type of books to which I refer consists of ludicrous plots which center around macho dudes with hypermasculine and vaguely porny names saving the day. My knowledge of said books is derived solely from reading the blurbs on the back, but from what I’ve gleaned, they tend to go a little something like this:
Brock Hardwick is a man with a troubled past. Kicked out of the Navy SEALS for his renegade style, he’s now a gun-for-hire. When a group of terrorists sets their sights on blowing up every Starbucks in America, the President calls upon the only man he can trust-- Brock Hardwick. With a mysterious and beautiful FBI informant named Monique as his guide through the dangerous world of international coffee terrorism, Brock races against the clock, hell-bent on decaffeinating the terrorists’ plans. No one can serve up a steaming mug of Café Americano justice…like Brock Hardwick.
You get the idea.
J brought one of these books home recently, entitled The Lions of Lucerne, and I inspected it. The author’s name is “Brad Thor,” and I feel comfortable in saying that I suspect it may be a pseudonym. The accolades on the book are equally hilarious; according to Dan Brown, “Brad Thor is as current as tomorrow’s headlines,” and People feels that, “Bottom line—Lions roars!” I was all set to put it back down when I noticed the most awesome thing ever. And it’s not the gilded lion (possibly of Lucerne) inexplicably eating an American flag:
No, what I noticed is on the back, specifically on the price sticker. Borders appears to have... mislabeled the book:
Behold: THE LOINS OF LUCERNE.
See, I think a book with such a name should look a little more like this, don’t you?
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20 comments:
That made me laugh! Nothing like a typo to totally put a spin on things :)
Happy Easter!
Ahhhh. Perhaps BRAD THOR! was secretly interested in the loins of Lucerne. I think we need to call Hardwick to check it out.
That's hilarious. Typos are the best!
Oh, that is too awesome! Love the illustration, too.
Loins, lions...rawr. I too hate that particular genre. And really, his last name is Thor? I know it's a pseudonym, but at that point, why not just name yourself "THOR" (all caps, too, DEMAND IT) and be done with it? Might as well just commit to it, you know?
LOVE this, btw.
Ha!! You have to wonder if there is some rogue Borders employee somewhere who does stuff like that on purpose. I mean, we all have things we do to make the day go faster...
Loins... hee!
I love typos. I once wrote a recipe for a class that, instead of "Add flour...", I wrote "Ass flour...". I will never live that down. I think I'd rather read the "Loins of Lucerne" anyways.
I also like that a book this "awesome" is going for $4.99.
I'm with claire--some Borders employee was having a little fun. (I would totally do that, if I were a Borders employee.) That said, "Loins of Lucerne" sounds like a much better read to me!
I once had a classmate who got in a bit of a hurry in biology class, while writing "organism." She left out a couple of letters, namely the "n" and the "i"--turning in a paper that instead said "orgasm." Fun with typos!
I must be dyslexic or something...I totally didn't see what was so funny with the book label until your diagram.
...thanks for the diagram, apparently those like me need it.
*now I shall hang my head in shame, between giggles, of course.
HA! I snorted, audibly, at this one. Hilar.
I'm just glad it wasn't The Loins of Lucerne because if it were, I don't even like to think about what they'd have clamping down on the American flag on that cover photo.
Most excellent. Yes, I needed the illustration. I have a hard time figuring out the difference between loins and thighs.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, and ha. That is all.
Now THAT is flat out fabulous.
Did you at least get a price break?
That's too funny! Also, it indicates that there really is a need for a professional proof reader in every walk of life. Doesn't Leno's Headlines feature prove that, too?
See? There's a perfect job for me, and no one wants to hire me for it.
That's way too funny! Yeah, any hardcover book that's reduced to $4.99 is reduced to $4.99 for a reason...
Girl... you have me laughing out loud at work (for shame!). I think it was the overview of Brock Hardwick foiling the coffee terrorist plot that sent me over the edge.
(Still giggling.)
Oh "Metalia"
hehe...Lesbian Seagull
You did not happen to mention the fact that the girlfriend of your cousin's boyfriend (just trying to be tricky), brought you DOWN in Taboo.
I am sorry, you would have been brilliant without be.
Oh "Metalia"
hehe...Lesbian Seagull
You did not happen to mention the fact that the girlfriend of your cousin's boyfriend (just trying to be tricky), brought you DOWN in Taboo.
I am sorry, you would have been brilliant without be.
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