Only you weren’t talking about George.
Credit: Warner Bros.
You were talking about the gnome-like man three doors down with the red coat and crazy glasses, to whom you are suddenly and inexplicably attracted.
Behold, the power of the weird crush.
Now this is, of course, an extreme case just to illustrate my point; I of course recognize the hotness of George, and Elliot Gould does nothing for me. But that’s not to say that I don’t have my share of incomprehensible and borderline embarrassing crushes. (Gene Simmons, anyone? No?)
Shall I give you my top five weird crushes?
My governor – I’ve mentioned this before; it continues unabated.
Ari Gold/Jeremy Piven – Oh, Ari! You delightful foulmouthed bastard, you. Don’t ever change. I don’t care that you have an obvious toupee; I love you anyway.
Credit: SFGate
Johnny
Credit: Eonline
The Iron Chef Chairman – Oh, c’mon! Perhaps you might find it weird that he does back flips without any provocation, is obsessed with his uncle, and shrieks the names of ingredients (“CHICKPEAAAAAAAS!”), but I find it adorable.
Credit: Yahoo
Ben Kingsley – He’s old! He’s bald! He’s sort of ugly! I do believe it’s the weird crush trifecta!
And so…I ask you…who are your weird crushes? And, because I’m curious, do you see the merit in any of mine?
_300.jpg)
35 comments:
YES. First of all, Jeremy Piven OH MY GOD YES. I have for years, way before Entourage - back on his (oh my God) ELLEN days. And Ari Gold is one of the hottest characters he's played, for reasons unknown (he's a pig? Is that it?)
Johnny Knoxville: CHECK. He's very hot. I've always thought so.
You lost me on Iron Chef, but OH YOU BRING IT BACK with Ben Kingsley. I love him, just ADORE him. But then again I have a thing for bald English guys (see also: Patrick Stewart).
Honestly, my whole life is a strange crush - I rarely find traditionally hot guys to be, well, HOT. Gary Oldman is perhaps my most famously strange one, given that this crush was born while he was starring in...Dracula (HOT).
The other thing that happens to me, since I love old movies, is that I'm perpetually getting crushes on dead actors, or those who are so far past their prime oh my God. James Stewart? Sexy! Gorgeous! DEAD!
Peter O'Toole? OH MY GOD SO HOT. Also in his late 80s and drunk all the time - but who cares? HOT.
I've fostered weird crushes on Orson Wells ("Citizen Kane" era) and the young G.H.W. Bush.
I also totally get the Johnny Knoxville thing - and am on board with Jonniker's Jimmy Stewart affection! Nice to get these things out in the open.
Jonniker -- It's official; I love you. Gary Oldman was on my original list (and yes, I, too, fell in love with HIM in Dracula, and not Keanu), but I took him off because I didn't think he was weird enough, and replaced him with Ben Kingsley. And re: Peter O'Toole...I couldn't agree with you more...watch this; the impression is priceless:
http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/42725/
Chickadee -- Bush?!?! I'm speechless. Yay, however, for the Johnny Knoxville love! There are dozens of us! Dozens!
Johnny Knoxville is TOTALLY hot!!!
Here's mine:
1.) Captain Jean Luc Picard. I mean, Star Trek? What kind of freak am I?
2.) I routinely have a "naughty" dream about George from Seinfeld. When I wake up, I am NOT AMUSED IN THE LEAST. (He has a furry back in the dream! ICK!)
I totally see the merit in Jeremy Piven. Not so much on the rest, but I respect the fact that every girl has the right to her own opinion.
I am trying to think of my weird crushes... Lots of people think my Ethan Hawke love is absurd, him being slightly skeevy and all, but I don't think that qualifies as weird... I'll get back to you.
ok, the obvious choices on rescue me would be, of course, FRANCO and maybe dennis leary--well, i don't like either of them. for some STRANGE reason, i like LOU. YES! LOU! the big gigantic weird LOU. he is very charismatic. john scurti who plays him is a great actor. i am sort of just chalking it up to that. oh boy. skulking away now...
I've admitted to many of my unusual crushes before (Leonard Nimoy, anyone?), so I won't list them all again. I will join you, however, on the Ben Kingsley bandwagon. The man is hot.
I'd like to join Chickadee in early GWB love. Because there's this photo out there somewhere of a young GB holding one of the twins and yes, he's hot in it. Smokin' hot actually.
I think my specialty is the weird crush! First of all, Jeremy Piven? Hells yes. I'm right there with jonniker -- loved him way back in the spazzy Cameron Crowe cameo days.
I once had a thing for Richard Dreyfuss. Oh, my.
Adrien Brody. Inasmuch as I have a type, he's not it. I don't go for tall and gangly, and dig that schnozz, but I liked him anyway.
Does Steven Colbert count? Maybe not.
And, um, back when I was a teenager, I seriously wanted to marry Robert Smith of the Cure. Or, cough, Boy George.
Slinking away now...
My friends and I used to play a fun game called Hump Island. It goes like this: if you were stranded on an island and could choose three guys to accompany you, who would they be? Now, of course there were always the usual suspects (George, Brad, etc.) but there were also many decidedly offbeat selections. One girlfriend picked BOTH Prince and Weird Al Yankovic.
I was horrified.
This then begat a different version of the game, called Embarrassing Hump Island. You could only populate that island with people you had bizarre crushes on that others would likely find weird. I can't remember who was on mine but I'm pretty sure Elliott Gould wasn't on the list. :)
p.s. I totally support your choices of Johnny Knoxville AND Jeremy Piven.
oh my stars, wrong Bush. The older Bush but younger? Really?
Hahaha~ you guys are KILLING me; particularly Rebcram...Embarrassing Hump Island? I've been snickering about that all day. Best game ever.
I'm loving this. Keep 'em coming!
(Nabbs-- I, too, think Stephen Colbert is foxy.)
I'm so glad you love Embarrassing Hump Island. E.H.I. is a staple among my friends. I hesitated before mentioning it, but then realized, DUH, it's empirically funny and Metalia will love it. :)
OH! Oh! I want to play E.H.I.! (Hi Metalia - by the way I lurk here from time to time and see you at Whoorls')
Ben Kingsley, Jeremy Piven and Knoxville all have merit. Esp. B.K.- he's been on my list for a loooong time.
Iron Chef - very sensual, but....hmmmm.
My EHI candidates:
Sean Connery (8 million years old!)
Jack Black (humour value)
and Adrian Brody. Basically your typical trifecta of cool accent, great funny and good acting/nice hair....
For crying out loud - my first creepy, weird crush - Charles Nelson Reilly. In the 70's I just loved his neckerchief - I mean honestly how can you not crush on someone who were a neckerchief? My first creepy 70's crush. Aaah, memories.....
Um, for the record, Jeremy Piven is NOT A WEIRD CRUSH. Because I love him and clearly am not alone. I love him as Ari and am almost ashamed to say that my boyfriend has a BIG mancrush on Ari as well. I think Ari is his hero. And that should make me sad, but lo, it makes me laugh.
Um, Jason Lee? Is that weird? Is it weird that I find him hot as Earl although I dislike white trash men as a rule?
I tend to like funny. Hence Jack
Black like Maya. Oh and Steven Colbert. And hell, even Mo Rocca although he may be gay.
Also Jewish. Enter Jon Stewart, although not so weird (and thus ending my love of all on the Jon Stewart Show, oh wait, also Rachael Harris.)
i have a semi weird crush on vincent d'onofrio, pre-sellout law show.
and...on benicio del toro (yes, i admit i liked the crappy movie, "excess baggage" with alicia silverstone)
and i'm in total lust with puddy from seinfield.
Okay, except for Charles Nelson Reilly and Gary Coleman (okay, it was actually Gary Oldman, but I read it as Gary Coleman), none of these strike me as particularly weird and/or shameful. I won't go through my entire weird crush list because I'd like to be able to continue to use the internet, but let me just say this: Brian Dennehy. In my defense, he didn't always weigh 500 pounds.
Christine, don't call Mo Rocca an odd crush! I love him!
I do not care for the Piven, but fully respect the right to like him. However, I draw the line at Turtle. No.
Oh, LOVE Mo Rocca! He's not gay, is he? Nuts.. um, weird crush - Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. Is that weird? I don't know if that's weird. It might not be weird.
But for my 'shucks he's dead' crush - Gregory Peck. Mmm.. sexy. And Dead!
You've just come up with the new summer meme.
Someday, I might actually post mine. I might end up going all "R," though, because some of them are very inappropriately too young for me. (NICK Simmons, anyone?)
;-)
I will go back and read all the comments. I swear.
But damn, Ari Gold. I love him. LOVE. (Seriously, I as *this* close to naming our baby Ari.)
And Johnny just has something so dirty about him that makes him so hot.
I've often melted at the sight of one Caption Jean Luc Picard. I even did a sculpture of him in high school.
How about my deep, deep love for Ira Glass. Or Mo Rocca. (When I google Mo to find out if he's gay...I come up with nothing. He can't be gay. He loves me.)
That's all I can think of for now.
The way you set the "weird crush" thing up was BRILLIANT. Totally gave me a boner.
I think my weirdest crush ever was on George from the Apprentice, but dude, I once wrote all of my crushes out and I think they're all weird.. (Except for Kevin James. That's not weird at all.)
Okay, still laughing out loud. Not AT you, but because I thought I was alone with my non-mainstream crushes.
I think Johnny Knoxville is way hot, his propensity for grossness aside. But I also have to remind myself NOT to think of his REAL name (which is John Clapp).
I often fear that I'm in love with Jim Halpert. NOT John Krasinski, mind you...but Jim Halpert. That is an important distinction, one that I don't quite understand.
I've got nothing. I feel like I just walked into the record store to buy a CD and I immediately forgot EVERYTHING that I wanted.
I know I have a lot. I'm pretty zoned in on having a crush on the super-dork.
Does Timothy Hutton count? Young Timothy Hutton? He was kinda scrawny. :)
My freaky crushes (well, some of them anyways):
Seth Rogan (Freaks & Geeks, Knocked up- I think he'd be good in bed)
James Spader (I like creepy)
Jeff Goldblum (I also like gangly)
John Turturro (judge not, judgers)
John C. Reilly (I like an "unusual" looking dude every once in a while)
I think I'll stop now. That would be best for all involved.
Piven and Knockville are not too out there. I tend to lean towards the funny, goofy guy (similar to my husband I guess). Give me Zach Braff anyday. I can over look the big honker for the sake of laughing my butt off. I can even go for Mike Meyers and Jim Carey. Ben Kingsley does have that older brooding look that commands your attention, that is sexy, in a weird, bald sort of way. By the way, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it.
Jeff Goldblum. NOT from the Fly, of course, but Jurassic Park era Jeff G.
Some of my weird crushes include: John Malkovich, LL Cool J's mouth, Chevy Chase, Tony Soprano, and Kim Deal.
trying to think and I know I have had a lot of really weird crushes (including cartoon characters) but I was watching TV with Ammar and it occured to me-- Eric Schweig from "Last of the Mohicans" probably fits the bill.
Fran Drescher.
There. I said it.
Uh, I have had a crush on Gary Oldman since BEFORE Dracula, I'm that old school. Admittedly, I was way hot for him in that movie even as Dracula, which frankly is all kinds of effed up.
My new, rather embarrassing crush is Clarke Peters, who plays Det. Lester Freamon on HBO's The Wire. He is about 30 years older than me, but I thin he is obscenely sexy.
Oh, and I'm offended that the other girl put one commenter's love of Charles Nelson Reilly on par with liking Gary Oldman. C'mon now!
I am late to the party on this because I just found out about you from Emily so I am slowly reading your archives. But I felt compelled to comment and say that a crush on Jean Luc is in NO WAY weird. That man is sexy! I don't know how, but he IS. Is it the accent? The amazing stage presence and resonating voice can't hurt. It has occurred to me, in fact, that since the bald, older Jean Luc is so sexy, the younger version, presumably with hair, must have been unbelievable, and I have therefore Netflixed _I, Claudius_ in order to see for myself. I'll keep you posted.
Also, you are a funny lady, and I'll be back!
AAAAhh. I love this. I agree on Jeremy Piven and Johnny Knoxville. There are so many others in the comments too. I LOVE Richard Dreyfuss. Well around 1977 or so. Ah. He's beautiful. I have to say I have a thing for actors who are past their prime as well. I recently saw The Graduate and am now completely obsessed with Dustin Hoffman. He was a sexy beast. I also find Adrian Brody amazingly hot. Ah. Steve Carrell too. Kevin Spacey. Hugh Laurie. Philip Seymour Hoffman (I know). And Muppet Treasure Island made me love Tim Curry. JASON BATEMAN. And sometimes.... Will Ferrell. I've never said that before. Oh. And Michael Palin back when he played Sir Galahad in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Yum.
Post a Comment