Which is how we found ourselves at the children’s haircutting place Friday afternoon for his fourth (fifth? I lost count.) haircut. This haircut, unfortunately, took place with a hairstylist who was kissing her own ass so intently, it was a wonder that she could even cut Tooweets’ hair properly.
Oh, wait; that’s right…she didn’t. Rather than ramble on about her ineptitude, I’ll just give you this brief pop quiz to determine your potential as a competent baby haircutter. Yes, you!
You’re cutting a fourteen-month-old boy’s hair. What do you use to neaten up the back?
A) A Christmas ham.
B) Loud, vibrating electric hair clippers which will scare the crap out of the child, causing him to jump, leaving a CRATER-SIZED chunk of precious baby hair carved out of the back of said child’s head.
C) Scissors. Perhaps the ones you’ve been using the entire time without incident.
Care to venture a guess at which option she chose? And whose child now has a quasi-"step" haircut, not unlike the style sported by Kid N' Play?
Of course we still tipped her. We’re wusses like that.
I must admit that other than that, it came out okay, right? RIGHT?
"Mom? Are you kidding me with this?"
Saturday brought its own share of problems, which is why I was thrilled beyond words to attend our friend's wedding on Sunday. I love weddings in general, but especially now that our nights out are few and far between, I relish the opportunity to put on a pretty dress and spend more than 30 seconds on my makeup. (Seriously, my harried mornings compelled me to get this down to a science.) Oh, and to carry a teensy, impractical bag that’s only big enough for one lip gloss and a place card, but NOTHING MORE.
The wedding was lovely, as was this:
This, in case you were wondering, is an enormous ice sculpture which dispenses Cosmos through a little spigot in the front. Suck it, pimp cup! Hit the road, pimp and ho shot glasses! Mama found a new favorite beverage dispenser! If only I still liked Cosmos...and ice didn't, um, MELT.Other than that, all is well, and I'm anxiously counting down the minutes until we leave for vacation later this week. We'll be at the annual Metalia family pilgrimage to the lake house in Pennsylvania with my parents and brothers, where we will eat, drink, and almost certainly be merry. How could we not, with the karaoke bar so close to the house? I secretly wait for this every year, and am not-so-secretly crafting my setlist already. (Gorillabuns, I'm saving a spot on that stage for you.)