Something that I ALREADY KNOW is quite strange?
I’m generally not what you’d call a Big! Birthday! Person! but recently, some sort of birthday-obsessed demon overtook me and began making strange demands of my husband.
More specifically, the birthday demon is of the opinion that it would be great if J would throw me a surprise Roaring Twenties-themed 30th birthday party, complete with costumes, jazz, and God knows what else.
I’m not even into the Twenties.
I don’t like jazz.
And while I adore surprises, I feel like it’d be quite difficult to pull off a surprise themed costume party. What would he say to me? “Honey, you know what would look great on you tonight? This flapper dress. Oh, and a bowl haircut. Hey, how good are you at The Charleston?”
The worst part?
I’m not going to be 30 for another three years.
I have NO idea what is wrong with me, people. This is weird, right? Very, very weird?
In any case, my 27th birthday is this Wednesday.
Somehow, between clapping his hands over his ears each time I drop some “casual” hint about the party utilizing era-appropriate slang (e.g., “Hey, J! You know what would just be the bees’ knees?”) and generally trying to get through the day without having to hear about some damn future party, J found the time to get me the BEST birthday gift ever: A MacBook.
The shine you see on the right is not the flash, but a PUDDLE OF DROOL. Does my husband kick ass, or what?
Lest you think I’d dare sully the hallowed MacBook with my unworthy lips, please note that I kissed a piece of paper and placed it lovingly, gingerly atop the glorious MacBook instead. And it was hard, because I have exactly one lipstick, and I had to dig through approximately 87 lipglosses (which were far too shiny for this undertaking) to find it.
Oh, and this lipstick, by the way? Makes me look like a vampire whore. What, you ask, does a vampire whore look like?
Behold! My approximation of a vampire whore:
I was talked into it ("it" being Vincent Longo lipstick in Dakota Red) by a Sephora Chick about a year ago; I had visions of being able to pull of a true red lipstick, like some French society lady or something, and clearly? I CANNOT.
But let’s focus on happier things! Such as the fact that immediately after “kissing” my laptop, I felt compelled to kiss other crap I’m in love with right this minute!
Cute flats that I am dying to wear! (Come on, Fall! Arrive already, dammit!) *kiss*
(Another find in the box o' childhood memories at my parents' house.)
Oh, yes indeed; your vision is not failing you. I am now the absurdly proud owner of a "Karaoke Party Machine" and these lovely karaoke CDs:
This was a joke birthday gift from my family, in light of recent events. The joke, however, is on them, because I cannot wait to take this baby for a proverbial spin. And possibly videotape it.