Something that I ALREADY KNOW is quite strange?
I’m generally not what you’d call a Big! Birthday! Person! but recently, some sort of birthday-obsessed demon overtook me and began making strange demands of my husband.
I don’t like jazz.
And while I adore surprises, I feel like it’d be quite difficult to pull off a surprise themed costume party. What would he say to me? “Honey, you know what would look great on you tonight? This flapper dress. Oh, and a bowl haircut. Hey, how good are you at The Charleston?”
I’m not going to be 30 for another three years.
I have NO idea what is wrong with me, people. This is weird, right? Very, very weird?
In any case, my 27th birthday is this Wednesday.
Somehow, between clapping his hands over his ears each time I drop some “casual” hint about the party utilizing era-appropriate slang (e.g., “Hey, J! You know what would just be the bees’ knees?”) and generally trying to get through the day without having to hear about some damn future party, J found the time to get me the BEST birthday gift ever: A MacBook.
Hello, Lover.
The shine you see on the right is not the flash, but a PUDDLE OF DROOL. Does my husband kick ass, or what?
Lest you think I’d dare sully the hallowed MacBook with my unworthy lips, please note that I kissed a piece of paper and placed it lovingly, gingerly atop the glorious MacBook instead. And it was hard, because I have exactly one lipstick, and I had to dig through approximately 87 lipglosses (which were far too shiny for this undertaking) to find it.
Oh, and this lipstick, by the way? Makes me look like a vampire whore. What, you ask, does a vampire whore look like?
Behold! My approximation of a vampire whore:
*Rowr*
I was talked into it ("it" being Vincent Longo lipstick in Dakota Red) by a Sephora Chick about a year ago; I had visions of being able to pull of a true red lipstick, like some French society lady or something, and clearly? I CANNOT.
But let’s focus on happier things! Such as the fact that immediately after “kissing” my laptop, I felt compelled to kiss other crap I’m in love with right this minute!
Yum! *kiss*
Cute flats that I am dying to wear! (Come on, Fall! Arrive already, dammit!) *kiss*
Nostalgia! *kiss*
(Another find in the box o' childhood memories at my parents' house.)
KARAOKE! *kisskisskiss*
Oh, yes indeed; your vision is not failing you. I am now the absurdly proud owner of a "Karaoke Party Machine" and these lovely karaoke CDs:
This was a joke birthday gift from my family, in light of recent events. The joke, however, is on them, because I cannot wait to take this baby for a proverbial spin. And possibly videotape it.
Any requests?
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28 comments:
I was actually just reminded of your birthday because I sent a card to my sister (who share the same birthday as you) this morning. Is that stalkerish? Sorry.
I have been planning my 30th birthday as well, and I am only 28, so I am weird right with you. Although I am thinking more along the lines of a birthday trip with my girlfriends, and not a surprise theme party. By the way, J could trick you by getting you a costume and having you change into it after everyone jumps out and suprises you. You're welcome.
I was thinking during that whole "roaring 20s theme party" paragraph, "But wait; you aren't even close to 30 yet, right??" Well, it is good to plan ahead. Plus, if you plant the idea now, you'll have plenty of time to forget about it so it'll actually be a surprise. :-)
Also, I keep trying to pull of red lipstick, too, and it's been a miserable failure for me as well. Glad I'm not alone.
P.S. Happy early birthday!!
You Velma Kelly, me, Roxie Hart.
At Karaoke AND your birthday party which I'm totally coming to.
Happy early birthday!!! Also? I love Ramona! And Beezus!
Oh, good memories.
Happy Birthday! I`m all about milking the birthday WEEK for all it`s worth.
I am SO looking forward to the karaoke montage. Because you can`t stop at one ;)
Happy Birthday Metalia!
Can I have a piece of your pie? I love it!
Ah, Beverley Cleary. It only needs topped off with some Judy Blume.
They don't make 'em like they used to says this as-yet 30 year old.
Happy early birthday!! I personally love flapper dresses and would wear one every day if it were socially acceptable. That, in my opinion, is reason enough to want to throw a 20s-themed party!
Dang girl, that's a purty new notebook. Props to J!
Those songs are AWESOME. I picked one to request, and then I was like, "oooooh, no, this one." and then "oh! this one!" clearly, we need a compilation.
also: i think you look cute in red lipstick. is this further evidence of my bad fashion sense? do you guys know something that i don't?
I'm going to stop making fun of your roaring twenties birthday party because I really do want an invite. So no more jokes about feather boas or doing the Charleston, etc. Promise.
Ok, that's a lie, I'll need to do it once more just to get it out of my system. ;-)
You clearly must do "Baby One More Time" complete with Britney-style dancing. Old-school Britney, I mean. Not ratty-weaved, dead-eyed, slow-moving, can't-even-remember-to-lip-synch Britney.
when you are ready to upgrade to the next level, you've got to get a Magic Mic. (google it. you won't be sorry.) i got one of these babies as a graduation present a few years back. not ONLY is everything you need right in the handheld mic that you can plug directly into your tv, but you CAN CHANGE THE KEY. oh yes.
no song will be beyond your range EVAH AGAIN.
me = nerd. i know this.
Happy birthday! I too love Ramona Quimby. And macs. And whorish red lipstick that migrates quickly to the teeth.
when is the karaoke party??? we best be invited.
Happy Big 20-something day to you!!!
Congrats on the MAC. You'll never go back!!
Love the red lipstick too. I had a Drew Barrymore thing in college. Yikes!
Hope you have many days to celebrate!
By the time you read this, it will be your birthday! Have a great day and year to follow. Mine is coming up and I hope to get a Mac too! Ahh, Ramona- old books are the BEST...
Happy Birthday. It's never too early to start planning your 75th birthday, too!
Beverly Cleary -- she's a classic! I'm teaching 4th grade, and I have a literature group starting Ramona the Pest in my class tomorrow. I hope they enjoy it enough to create their own fond memories.
happy birthday, metalia!!!
may you always be daring in your pursuit of life, lipstick and song while remaining forever youthful!!!
dude, i swear i am totally sober writing this.....
again, hope it was wonderful!
I am so behind on blogs that I am reading this on Wednesday.
Happy not-quite-30-yet Birthday!
A few notes:
* Nice new Mac.
* I am going to steal those leopard flats from you while you're walking down the street, if I'm ever in NY- just so you know.
*You & Me + red lipstick = not so much.
XO
I'm late reading this but wanted to wish you a happy, happy birthday and all the very best. Ramona Quimby ROCKS!!!!
My dear Metalia,
I now understand exactly why i adore you. because you share a birthday with Crabtot and thus were born on an auspicious day for Crabmommy, albeit 27 years earlier...I think it perfectly right on for you to get more anal and bizarre in your birthday behavior as you approach 30. Just remember, it is a beacon of light after the dark floundering that is the 20s. Well, maybe just MY 20s ...but ALL THE SAME.
I wish you a very happy birthday. I myself am still recovering from Crabtot's. Should you need to know the full extent of my crabby feelings, please see my "birthday newsletter," a slightly different take on the theme...
Bceause you need to know
happy birthday, weirdo! I can't decide if I am more jealous of your computer or your pie.
Hey, happy late birthday! I think it is hilarious that you want to have a Roaring 20's party for the start of your 30's. Then again, if you had a 30's theme party, what would it be? Depression party? Man, that is in such poor taste of me. I will go now.
Where the hell have I been? This post has been sitting here all week, and I haven't even responded? For shame...
Happy Birthday! :)
If my 'puter ever craps out (which I have a feeling it will) I'm on the Mac bus.
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