If You Cut Through The Rambling, You'll Find A Lip Gloss Review

The past few days (weeks? years? I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE.) were a whirlwind of work, family visits, and friends. I’m still reeling (in the best way), so this will have to be a bullet point post (albeit a long one). Let’s start with last week, as promised in my previous post, shall we?

A) As I’d mentioned, I was in D.C., and conveniently, so was Heather B. We, along with the lovely Emily (a.k.a. my fabulous BlogHer roomie) spent a night out together. Let me just tell you, I adore these ladies, and you know that feeling when you smile and laugh for so long and so consistently that your cheeks are in a state of spasm, but you just don’t care, you’re having that good of a time? It was that kind of night.

B) My hotel in D.C. was attached to a mall. I made a number of purchases that crowded my already-overstuffed carry-on bag. Among them was a pretty, drapey white shirt and an amazing lip gloss. As promised in my last post, here's the scoop on the gloss:

At the risk of over-selling it, I can tell you that it immediately won a place on my “top five lip glosses” mental list (It’s totally normal that I maintain said list, right? Terrific!), and that I love it, despite the fact that it comes in a pot. (Funnily enough, I’d recently purchased a lip brush at the behest of…Heather B! She extolled its virtues while we were in Sephora together a few months back, and so I, a formerly unrepentant hater of pot-type glosses, specifically walked into Sephora this time determined to purchase a pot of gloss to use with my lip brush.)

Without further ado, I bring you... Laura Mercier Lip Stain!

Here’s the product description:

Laura Mercier Lip Stain provides the visual effect of a stain with the comfort and sheen of a lip gloss.

• Long term wear with a satin, balmy finish
• Leaves the look of effortless polish and understated sophistication
• Hybrid of stain and gloss formula
• Clear glass pot allows for quick application

Effortless polish AND understated sophistication? That is my DREAM!

I’m blown away by the genius of the product. In my past experience, most long wear-type glosses require a goopy, matte color basecoat that you must apply perfectly, lest you accidentally smear the color (which is, for all intents and purposes, a glorified permanent marker) above your upper lip, and risk looking like a certain dictator whose name rhymes with…oh, I think we all know where I’m going here, right?

And then the only way to get the splotch off before it sets in is to rub furiously at your upper lip with what turns out to be your friend's mom's precious hand towel, which you inadvertently ruin forever. You will never be invited back, even to study for the Physics final. At this point you need to use the secondary topcoat/gloss stick that came with the color basecoat thing in order to make your matte, alarmingly color-saturated lips have some semblance of shine, but after all that, you still have a weird red blotch on your upper lip for the next half hour, due to your earlier run-in with the color stick. Um, I mean, that could happen. To other people. Certainly not me.

Furthermore, the color and texture of such products, have, in my experience, left much to be desired. I’d write more, but the visual argument of my lips in my 8^th grade Spelling Bee Championship victory photo is really quite compelling:

You will observe that I was rocking the ever-classy “dark lipliner, lighter lipstick” look, so popular in the early Nineties, and the lipstick in question was Revlon LongLast...something something in Raisin…something. Do you want to know something awful? I loved this lipstick SO MUCH that I was petrified that Revlon would stop making it, and so I would buy four or five at a time. I'm sure I still have a stockpile in my parents' house somewhere.)

As you can see, I’ve been burned before, and consequently, I’ve been a strict gloss girl since college. Sure, you have to constantly reapply it, but admit it: Isn’t that all just part of the fun?

So. Back to the new gloss.

I purchased the gloss in Shy Pink, which is described as a “delicate pink brown” a.k.a. “Metalia’s perfect nude gloss shade.” (I still love you, Nars Foul Play! Shy Pink is just so new and exciting to me right now! You're still my special gal, I swear!)

I secretly want to go back and purchase the gloss in Mulberry for my many exciting nights out on the town, but then I remembered that my nights primarily revolve not around town, but rather, around watching all manner of addictive DVR’ed crap (Damn you Gossip Girl! Damn you to hell! I was ensnared in your perfectly manicured, Ballet Pink talons from the very start!), NOT cleaning my Clothing Chair of Doom (much to J's chagrin), and occasionally making baked goods. Eh, whatever. One new gloss is enough for now. I’ve been topping Shy Pink off with clear gloss, partially to get my “must apply lip gloss with a wand!” fix, but primarily because it makes the color really pop. Oh, and yes, it really does last for a while, without that icky, drying feeling, or any ruined hand towels to speak of. Hooray!

C) My last post also promised some weird stories, involving foreign dignitaries, Fabio (yes, the Fabio), and a smarmy man named Chico. I swear I’ll get to that another day. Just remind me.

D) My parents just spent the weekend with us for the first time. They live 20 minutes away, and we visit them (and vice versa) all the time, so we never bothered to have them for any extended period of time. (Who sucks? WE DO!) Anyway, we had an amazing time with them.

But.

In anticipation of their arrival, I cooked more than I ever have in my life. It's not like my parents have never had my cooking before, but I don't know; something about having them with us for the weekend (and not just a quick visit) brought out the crazy cook in me. What's that you say? The menu? Sure!

~ Homemade Chicken Soup (with Matzah Balls!)

~ Turkey Timbales with Citrus Hoisin Sauce

~ Slow Cooked Root Vegetables

~ Marinated Rosemary London Broil

~ Mustard and French Onion Crisped Chicken (Don't let the title fool you; this sounds wayyy fancier than it is; it's chicken cutlets dipped in honey mustard and dunked in those crushed onion rings from a can. It is, however, delicious...right, Stefanie?)

~ Cauliflower Popcorn (My favorite recipe ever.)

~ Broccoli Kugel

~ Red Cabbage and Ramen Noodle Salad

~ Strawberry Crumb Cake

~ Chocolate Chip Cookies (I cheated here; these were pre-cut, frozen cookies.)

We will be eating leftovers FOREVER.

E) Apropos of nothing, are you watching 30 Rock? Because you should be.

F) Finally (for now) YAYYY, de-lurkers! I love you so; thanks from the bottom of my heart for delurking. Your questions were so very good and likely to produce such long-winded responses that I’m considering answering a few each day as part of NaBloPoMo. (Which…who else is doing NaBloPoMo this year?) If you have anything else you'd like answered then, by all means, ask away.

Now I’m off to go catch up with your blogs, click on over to my lurkers’ sites, and um…

Watch An American Tail. It's a long, long story.

Don’t judge.