I mean, if it WAS, I'd be waxing poetic about my newfound love of the game of hockey, my fun night out with my husband at the hockey game we attended last night...
...and how I saw my secret boyfriend Liam Neeson there WITH MY VERY OWN EYES OMG, and YES, how I even snuck a picture of him...
...all while devouring the world's largest bag of cotton candy ever. Look! It came in this stylish and elegant hat!
But like I said, this post isn't going to be about me.
I mean, I like to think I have a handle on the types of things you want to read here. And I'm pretty sure that nowhere in that list of things is there a section on sick babies and their vomit. For instance, I'm sure you have no interest in hearing about us returning home from our night out to see that our child had a fever of 103 ("He's hot blooded; check him and seeeeee..."), and, upon pulling our feverish, whimpering tot out of his crib and into our bed, experiencing a vomit explosion of epic proportions: The Barfening. I'm talking Exorcist-type shit here, the likes of which instantly seeped through the sheets and absorbed into our very pricey (naturally!) mattress. My side bore the brunt of it, (naturally!) and together, J and I mastered the fine art of juggling a sick, cranky baby, vomit management, and attendant stench removal WHILE SLEEPWALKING. Because ohmigod we were up ALL NIGHT.
But no! This isn't about ME!
This post is really about something I'm trying to do for my friend. I'll call her Amaretto, because it was at her
19th 21st! TOTALLY 21st, and NOT A DAY SOONER birthday party that I drank that liquor straight (dear god, WHYYY?), and as a result, can never have it again. In anything. Ever. She and I, however, still look back on that night as one of the evenings that solidified our friendship. Oh, and I’m also calling her Amaretto because the name sounds like a stripper name, and clearly, I'm on a stripper kick lately. Hee.
So my dear friend Amaretto is having her very first baby in a few months. Yay! She couldn't be more excited, except for one thing.
Due to some issues, her doctor just placed her on strict bedrest for the duration of her pregnancy, and she? Is BORED. As she said in her email to me, "there are only so many episodes of What Not to Wear that a girl can watch in a week." (I disagree! Call me, Stacy London! I have some ideas!) Poor Amaretto is hurtin' for some distraction. She needs suggestions of books to read! Fun websites to peruse! New hobbies!
She asked me for some ideas, but I could only think of a few things. She reads this blog, though, and so I asked her if I could put out the call to my fabulous readers, and ask all of you for some things she could read/watch/do while on bedrest.
What are some good books you've been reading lately? What funny/engrossing websites have you been enjoying? What are some (stationary) hobbies that she could pick up?
Oh, and I almost forgot... Perhaps it's the 3 hours of sleep I got last night talking for me here, but I'll just say this before I change my mind:
To sweeten the deal, and encourage your ideas for Amaretto, I WILL SING THE KARAOKE SONG OF SOMEONE'S CHOOSING, AND POST IT HERE.
The rules are simple: Post an idea for Amaretto (or several!) along with a karaoke song you'd like to see me
totally butcher perform, and Amaretto will pick the song for me to sing, whereupon I will post a video of the performance.
Do you see the lengths to which I will go to entertain my bored friend?
So come on, guys! Do this for the bedridden pregnant lady, and I'll make a complete jackass of myself on video. It's a good deal, I think.
I'll go first: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, (a great book I'm currently reading) and www.claudiasroom.blogspot.com, (which hilariously recaps The Babysitters Club books of my youth.)
Okay, now you.