Essentially, it involves not cursing like a longshoreman, as is my (occasional) habit.
You see, Toopweets is talking. Like, a lot. And perhaps more significantly, REPEATING a lot. Consequently, I had a bit of a wake-up call the other day. I was amidst cutting up some meatballs for his dinner when I burnt my hand. "CRAAAAP!" I exclaimed. He looked up, and a bemused expression crossed his face.
I'm sure you can imagine what happened next.
For the next 5 minutes, “cwap” was his favorite word.
Elmo was cwap. His sippy cup was cwap. My magazine was cwap. (As it was In Touch, he sort of had a point.)
The first day of my shiny, curse-free existence wasn't so bad.
The second day was a bit more challenging. I had a close call when I stubbed my toe. The incident occurred while we were playing a little game I like to call "Hide Behind Large Pieces of Furniture and Pop Up Quickly While Shrieking 'Boo'." (Patent pending!) After bashing my foot against the metal leg of what I've since decided is the world's most impractical chair, the "fff” sound was just dancing there on the tip of my tongue, but I'm proud to say that I recovered nicely with "fudgebuttons."
I'm not going to lie; it was weird.
Then things got difficult pretty rapidly.
How, I ask you, is one supposed to assemble a toy without letting the occasional “DAMN it!” slip by? Am I truly expected to get cut off in traffic behind a 907-year old lady who then drives fourteen miles an hour and NOT mutter "bitch" under my breath? Is one really supposed to drop a can of shoepeg corn on her hand without accusing said corn of possibly engaging in inappropriate relations with its mother? How, I ask you, HOWWWW?
To make matters worse, no sooner did I attempt to drop my bad habit, I started to see reminders of it everywhere. I can’t balance my checkbook…
...or play blocks with T and not be reminded of my old ways:
Sigh…this is not going to be easy. I give myself about a week before I crack. Wish me luck.
Seriously, how do people do this?
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For all of you who were intrigued at the thought of Cauliflower Popcorn, here's the recipe. It's delicious, and a snap to make. Enjoy!
2 heads cauliflower, cut into medium florets (discard stems)
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons sugar
¼ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon paprika
¼-1/2 teaspoon turmeric
6 tablespoons of olive oil
Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
Line a baking pan with parchment paper. In a large bowl, combine all of the spices and the olive oil. Add cauliflower florets and toss to evenly coat. Place in a single layer on the prepared sheet. Roast uncovered for 30-35 minutes, until the largest pieces can be pierced with a fork.p.s. Werewolf Bar Mitzvahs are very, very scary. That is all.