1. Call your pediatrician and leave a message. Even if it is late on a Saturday night. Whatever, she already thinks you’re the worst mom ever.
2. Wait for her to call you back.
3. Wait some more.
4. Just breathe.
5. Ask your husband to place feverish baby in the bath.
6. Continue waiting for pediatrician's call.
7. Curse pediatrician. Repeatedly.
8. Finally receive a phone call back. Doctor instructs you to immediately take baby to emergency room.
9. For possible spinal tap to rule out meningitis.
10. Try your damndest to hold it together.
11. Fail miserably.
12. Just breathe.
13. After your husband helps you to pull yourself together, make it to hospital in record time.
14. Wonder aloud with your husband as to whether or not you can leave your car parked askew directly in front of the hospital entrance.
15. Decide to listen to drunken bearded weirdo who tells you that it’s fine.
16. Banter wittily amongst yourselves about how the drunken bearded weirdo will be driving your car off into the night in minutes with his equally drunk and bearded weirdo friends.
17. See how you can make jokes? EVERYTHING IS FINE. FIIIINE.
18. Just breathe.
19. Bolt into ER with baby in your husband's arms.
20. Note that it looks NOTHING like Seattle Grace. These are mole people. Where are all the hot people? And angsty interns?
21. Get seen by triage nurse. She will run various tests and shout rapid-fire instructions at you in broken English.
22. One such instruction will be “Scale! Scale!”
23. This does not mean that you AND the baby should get on the gigantic, Biggest Loser-style scale together. I mean, really. DUH. (Though together, you weigh 58 kg. You do not know what this equates to, why you remember this, or why the scale was in kilograms.)
24. Cut yourself a break; you’re a nervous wreck.
25. Just breathe.
26. Weigh baby AND BABY ALONE.
27. Return to waiting room, where you will be surrounded by, among others: a sweet little girl having an asthma attack, Phlegmy O’Coughington, the Boy Who Doesn’t Cover His Mouth (curse you, Phlegmy!),Wendy’s-eating teenagers who APPARENTLY HANG OUT IN THE ER FOR FUN and assorted other sick kids who could not seem any more contagious if they tried. You wil swear up and down to your husband that one boy might actually have the Bubonic Plague.
28. Concoct a detailed fantasy about frolicking in a never-ending shower of Purell.
29. Attempt to soothe whimpering, feverish, shaking baby.
30. Pass whimpering, feverish, shaking baby to your husband.
31. Lather, rinse, repeat.
32. Just breathe.
33. After what seems like an eternity, get seen by the WORLD’S NICEST DOCTOR.
34. Many tests will be taken.
35. You wait.
36. Your sick baby will lie there, dazed, in the little hospital bed.
37. Just breathe.
38. The doctor will return.
39. She will thankfully rule out meningitis, and a myriad of scary things you hadn’t even considered yet. (What the hell is RSV??)
40. What you apparently have on your hands is a baby with a very nasty strain of flu.
41. Yes, you DID have him innoculated with the flu vaccine. Funny, right?
42. No matter. He’s going to be fine. Thank God.
43. Get released.
44. A few sleepless, barf-filled nights later, and he’s back to normal.
***Zoom!***
45. Well...relatively speaking, anyway.
(What, doesn't everyone's toddler play Upside Down Xylophone?)
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33 comments:
Oh, man. That sounds awful and terrifying. I'm glad he's okay!
Of course you freaked out! It was a freaktacular situation! OMG, parenting is scary! I am so glad Toops is ok and as adorable as ever.
Toopweets looks like he's back in the saddle!! Phew!!
I'm so happy everything is back to normal.
i was scared/nervous reading this.
i'm so glad he/you are better.
so, i'm guessing the flu shot is a placebo this year?
Oh i am so glad he's ok!
So glad everything turned out alright.
I'm glad you kept writing "just breath"... because you're story had me holding my breath!
Poor Toopweets! Poor you and J! How scary. Fevers send me over the moon, I have no idea why they scare me so much. Oh, I know why... because of STORIES LIKE THIS!
So glad he's doing better :)
How frightening! I am so glad to hear that Topweets is on the mend.
Doesn't everyone play their xylophone upsidedown? No?
phewie!
man, that was sooo scary! thank goodness he is alright.
kudos to you guys to keep your shheet together.
So sorry you had to go through that! Happy that eveyone is back to normal!
Oh, and I know! I know! 58 kg.=127lbs. you skinny be-yotch ;-p And they weigh in kg. because that's how the medicine dosages are broken down. (I used to work in an animal hospital - we'd weigh the animals in kg.)
Yikes. Scary indeed. So glad the little dude is OK.
Oh, that must have been awful!
SO happy he's OK and that you guys are too.
xoxoxoxo
I am glad Toopweets is better! Your post brought back some memories for me. We have 3 children (now in their 20's) and in a period of 8 weeks, we spent 6 of those weekends visiting the Emergency Room with one of them. Most of the time we were scared to death. No, you don't get over that even with three! And we were always appalled at the people that were in there. Needless to say, I think we ended up being the major reason they were able to build the new childrens wing!
Aww, Toops is looking so "big boy" and less baby! Glad he's doing well.
That must have been very scary. I'm glad everything's OK now!
Oh that sounds awful. The poor little guy has had a rough time lately. I'm glad he's doing okay now.
How scary! I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! Yeesh!
I'm so glad he's feeling better.
Glad it all worked out in the end. How scary for you.
And his little robot t-shirt is awesome.
Oh my. I'm glad everything is OK. And by the way he is expertly playing a musical instrument while in a downward dog position, I would say that he's downright spectacular right now.
i'm so glad he's back to normal ;)
(ps. #27 is definitely my favorite)
Oh, my God! How awful! I'm glad he's OK, and you are, too.
(I did giggle that you jumped on the scale, too. Not because it's illogical, because it's not, and you were panicking, but just because it's funny. Is that OK? I hope so.)
What a nightmare! I'm glad the Toops is back to normal--or, you know, relatively so. ;)
Yikes! I hate that ER feeling - the panic, the terror. So glad he's ok.
Aww... sounds like a rough night! My son had RSV when he was 12 months, caught it at Disneyworld of all places! Probably from one of the characters, as he didn't leave his stroller other than that! He was in the hospital for 2 days after we got home, with pneumonia and such. Glad your boy didn't have it!
And they say the flu shot is good... They won't get near me or mine with it! :)
Glad he's feeling himself again!
Oh, and your comment about Seattle Grace? Mine's not like that either! What the heck!! Don't they know we frantic mamas need something good to keep our minds occupied?!
Glad you guys are doing a bit better! Indeed, better enough to play musical instruments upside down.
But really, holy moly, that sounds incredibly terrifying and I am so thankful that he's feeling better.
I'm glad to hear Toopweets has recovered from his (and your) ordeal. My daughter had a fever of 104 for three days straight a month ago and I was a nervous, paranoid wreck throughout. One of the lovlier aspects of parenting.
Also, is there another way to play the xylophone?
How incredibly scary for you. I have an almost 10-month-old, so I cannot even imagine.
Glad he's back to normal!
Poor little guy (and you two, too). So glad everything is fine.
I was wondering what happened ever since I saw the Flickr pics. This just confirms why I don't do flu jabs! I think the fact he's playing the xylophone with his head is a good sign. Hope you all recover soon!
my heart wont stop pounding!
Oh my gosh! How horrible!! I'm so relieved for you, and glad Toops is doing well.
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