The Real Reasons I Love Football

The past few days have been exciting ones for my family. As you may know, J and I are hardcore Giants fans, and our beloved team miraculously pulled out a Super Bowl win against the Patriots. Despite my secret crushes on certain members of the Patriots team, I was ELATED to see them go down.

We’ve thrown Super Bowl parties in the past, but this year, J flat-out refused on the grounds that he’d be too nervous about the game to be a gracious host. I have to say, I sort of understood it. We were invited to a few parties, but ultimately decided to go to my parents’ soirée. We did this for a number of reasons, chief among them the free babysitting (thanks, Mom!) and preferred seating in my parents’ newly revamped TV room, complete with Jumbotron-sized flat screen, and surround sound. Oh, and did I forget to mention the cake? My God, this one dwarfed the last Giants cake they had.

Now, I understand that a lot of you out there just…aren’t so into football. You think it’s boring, or there are too many rules...Well, years ago, I used to be like you. But times have changed, and I’ve been a fan for a long time now. While I can’t convince you to love the game like I do, I’m going to share with you some little things that will hopefully answer the question a lot of my friends ask me, namely, “Why the hell do you like watching football so damn much?”

Reason 1: End Zone Celebrations!

Now granted, there isn’t too much of this in the bigger games, for fear of penalties and fines, but DUDE. How can you not love a sport wherein the players occasionally bust a move? I mean, where else are you going to see this?

(And don’t tell me “a baseball game” because no one dances there, DESPITE WHAT HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2 MAY HAVE TOLD YOU.)

Reason 2: Playing George-O! (Patent pending)

I adore my dad. He is a lovely person; brilliant, funny, and kind. All of this, however, goes out the window when we watch football; then, he is the single most annoying person with whom to watch a game IN THE UNIVERSE. He mutters at the referees, yells at the players (who, y’know, can’t hear him) and generally makes me want to POKE HIM WITH A POINTY STICK. (I’m sorry, Dad! I love you, but it’s all true!) Necessity being the mother of invention, my brother and I came up with a way to channel our annoyance into something positive: The game of GEORGE-O (which is in no way modeled after Bingo and I have no idea what you're talking about)! I tell you, it was not easy sneakily distributing the cards to J, my other brother, and assorted other friends and family members, but these babies definitely made the experience of watching the game with Shouty McYellsAtRefs more pleasant:

Reason 3: Heather B!

A highlight of this past football season, for me, has been a little segment I like to call “Texting with Heather B.” Heather is an equally ardent Giants fan, and she and I tend to spend a large amount of our time during games running up our respective text messaging bills. We’re there for each other, whether the situation calls for inventive cursing, celebration, or me telling SOMEONE that Burress was due for a big play. (I was right, HB!) She doesn’t know it yet, but I plan to show up on her doorstep this summer to stalk Eli and Plax attend Giants training camp with her. I hope she likes toddlers. And infants.

Reason 4: The High Fashion!

Really, have I ever looked foxier than I did here? Defiantly wearing a jersey that cannot, nay, WILL NOT fit over my growing belleh? I think not!

Reason 5: Uh…my team won!

I think our faces say it all, don’t you?

Oh, and then there was this little parade today…

And there you have it. Congratulations once again to the Super Bowl XLII Champions, THE NEW YORK GIANTS!