“I’d like a long bob, please. Like, barely brushing my collarbones, with some piecey layers thrown in for texture. Here are two pictures to use as a guide:”
WHAT SHE HEARD
“Please, oh please, make me look like a 1950’s housewife named Shirley Sue who is greeting her two sons, Harry and Fred, with a fresh-baked plate of Snickerdoodles as they come home from school.”
WHAT I SAID
“I’d like my overall look to be very sleek and polished.”
WHAT SHE HEARD
“My hair to date hasn’t really given me ample opportunity to try out styles that make me look like: (a) I'm 12, (b) I'm posing for an American Apparel ad, and (c) I'm putting to good use my porn name, Fluffy van Carlton. What can you do for me that will enable me to incorporate all of those things simultaneously?"
WHAT I DIDN’T SAY, BUT ASSUMED WAS UNDERSTOOD
“I enjoy having my hair evenly cut on both sides. It's just one of my little quirks.”
WHAT SHE ASSUMED
“Even shmeven, beeyotch!”
Just to drive home my point...
See how I can make jokes? I'll be fine. FIIIIINE. The truth is, I don't think she cut it short enough, so at least there's room for someone competent to repair the damage. Whoorl has reassured me that this is fixable, and I'm scheduling an appointment with my regular hairdresser post-haste. (WHAT WAS I THINKING GOING TO SOMEONE NEW? AND WHO DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A FULL GRASP OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, AT THAT?) In the meantime, I will be wearing a Blair Waldorf-style beret to disguise the above disaster, and praying that my hairstylist makes house calls.
Wish me luck.
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12 comments:
You'd pull anything off, but I can't wait to see what it'll look like when the hairdresser listens to your guidance. You are going to be ridiculously adorable then.
Oh whatever. You always look cute and you know it.
I am teasing you, but it is true.
If you were ugly I would have more pity. As it is I am being evil, jealous hater and MWUHA HA HA HA HA-ing!
My master plan worked!
She now has a slight chink in her Gorgeous Veneer!! I now stand a chance of possibly competing!!!
Yah, then I realized it didn't matter a frig since you still have Bambi eyes and you're still disgustingly gorgeous.
Master plan destroyed.
Sigh...
(I'm not at all pms'ing and hideously zit ridden at the moment or anything. Hee)
I agree with Whoorl, your hair is fixable. But it doesn't erase the frustration of getting an unsatisfactory cut.
I know that feeling of sitting there, watching the hair fly, knowing that it's not what you want, but you're beyond the point of no return...
You make one adorable 1950s housewife, though!
But, dude, that is the sickest feeling, sitting there while they cut your hair ALL WRONG and there is nothing you can do! ARGH!
Definitely fixable, not to worry, and until then I think you should walk around in the pigtails trying to shock people, who will think you are a pregnant 12-year-old.
I once had a bikini-waxer-gone-wild. Consider yourself blessed that it was only the hair on your head that she botched.
Ah geez this exact thing happened to me I can't tell you how many times. You'd think you were speaking a foreign language or something the way they so completely screw up the directions.
Yes totally fixable. Embrace the lopsidedness for a day, pretend you're one of the super cool japanese girls with the crazy cuts that always manage to look incredibly cute/cool.
I don't think she didn't hear what you said...I think she just chose to totally ignore it. You know, because she feels she knows what is best for you...even though she is NOT YOU.
Dude, sometimes stylist irk me!
going to someone new has never, ever worked in my favor. as long as it's fixable...because mine..once...dear god, it wasn't pretty.
also...you could totally rock a blair waldorf beret. totally.
It's amazing how amazing a good hairdresser is. I miss mine; I have yet to find someone here, which is probably why my hair looks a hot mess and I'm rocking a pony most of the time.
(I love these pictures. And the one with your new fantastic! hair cut.)
ha! And I'm with Stefanie - you totally always look cute!
Yes, you always look cute. But i do see where it was asymmetrical, and that's just a pretty basic request, no? Symmetry. It looks amazing, now though, so crisis averted. It looks exactly like the Nicole pic!
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