Monday, April 28, 2008

Metalia: Setting Feminism Back Since 2008

Today we’re going to talk about bras and my butt! Perhaps if there’s time, we’ll have a virtual pillow fight in our pajamas!

(I KNOW this post is going to be irredeemably girly.)

(I apologize in advance.)

(But I'm still unpacking from Passover, dealing with a toddler who has both a double ear infection AND a stomach virus, and forcing myself to finish the Most Depressing Book Ever, so I need a little levity.)

So the reason I was asking about wearing black bras under white shirts the other day is because I recently (inadvertently) engaged in such activity. I was planning to wear a dark top that day, but decided upon a white button-down shirt at the last minute, but forgot to make the appropriate undergarment-related adjustments (i.e., putting on a light-colored bra instead of the black one I was wearing). I went through an entire day like this, and no one said a thing to me. Not a word. And so when I realized my error—ONCE AGAIN, AFTER A WHOLE DAMN DAY HAD ELAPSED—I began to reflect a bit. Did people think I did it on purpose? Did they not want to offend me? I MUST KNOW.

While we’re on the subject, though, I do want to talk about my bras in general. Did I say talk? I mean RAVE. Ordinarily, I loathe Victoria’s Secret bras with a blazing intensity. In my past experience, I have found each and every one I tried on to be a pinchy, ill-fitting, pointy, quadraboob-inducing devil bra. And so I truly have no idea what recently possessed me to give their bras another shot. Was I high on the fruity fumes of their aggressively-scented store? Possibly. All I know is that I found myself in their BioFit section and took the opportunity to try on a few. People, this bra is MAGIC. It’s cut differently for each size, and—oh, I’m sorry. I meant to say that its “cup-specific lift and shape provides natural enhancement for a personalized fit and customized curves.”

Precisely.

GO GET IT.

And now, continuing with my Girliest Post Ever, I have bit of a confession. I was walking downtown last Friday in my skinny maternity jeans that I have convinced myself I will wear forever. (In reality, I will probably never want to look at them again once I have the baby, but whatever.) I was passing by a building site, and a construction worker…complimented my posterior.

To be more specific, he called it “luscious.”

I know it’s clichéd.

I know I should have been offended.

But honestly, people?

I’m now officially eight months pregnant, and couldn't help but be secretly flattered.

Even if the compliment DID come from a grizzled, lecherous construction worker.

23 comments:

Angella said...

Oh, Metalia!

I remember being eight months pregnant with Nathan.

I spent every lunch hour "power walking". It kept the weight at bay.

I had to walk by a construction site, and they hooted and hollered.

I loved it.

I would have been more offended if they ignored me ;)

Blazing Goddess said...

You know, I have never bought into that particular tenet of Feminism. Why should I feel offended by an honest appreciation of any assets I have? I mean, we're not idiots, right? We can feel the difference between a scmuck approach and a heartfelt wolf-whistle. I'm with you. I'm just grateful SOMEONE noticed.

I hate bra shopping. I live in a small town, for one thing, but even in larger towns it takes more than anything VS has to strap in my FF's. Depressing. Don't even get me STARTED on sport's bras. ( a.k.a. The most worthless invention ever foisted off on womankind.)

180/360 said...

I swore off shopping at Victoria's Secret several years ago... but I may have to try the BioFit bra since you seem to have the same general opinion of the place.

Then again, you are pregnant! Isn't your bosom bigger and better right now, making it a better fit overall?

Gemini Girl said...

I was large and in charge when I was preggo with my twins. Most pple who looked at me winced bec they thought I was in pain!

In my past I had been let down by vs bras, so I never attempted to try one on again. Maybe you are on to something, I should give it a shot. But your boobs are prob a lot smaller than mine!

AnnieM said...

Ooo, I am always looking for a great bra! I have to say though, I am a little irritated that the big boobie sizes cost more. What's it going to take for us "full-busted"girls to catch a break!

Luscious? I'd proudly take it!

black-eyed susan said...

I just recently got the Biofit bra myself and COMPLETELY AGREE. The fit is awesome.

Jill - GlossyVeneer said...

I tried on a BioFit bra recently and it was the FIRST time I've ever actually had the whole "quadraboob" problem. Weird... and I so wanted to love it.

I wouldn't mind if the construction workers called my behind luscious either. It's one of those things that we may pretend to be upset over, but secretly it makes us feel HOTT. :-)

SP said...

A compliment is a compliment. I say take it and run. In fact, run right back to that construction site so you can be told again that your posterier is lucious. Post pictures and I'll tell ya too!

Congrats on the VS bra. I used to love them but stopped buy thing a few years ago because their quality turned to crap. I'd be curious whether you have quality issues in a few months. Keep me posted.

CDJ said...

Good for you! I never got such compliments when I was pregnant, but once, when I was walking my dog through one of the shadier areas of our neighborhood, a dude riding in a low-rider car once told me -- loudly, through his open car window, as he leaned out said window -- that I had "some kinda ass for a white girl." ***Beaming with pride*** :-)

Moose said...

A man in a coffee shop complimented my outfit a few weeks ago. He was wearing ski boots at the time. (I'd like to note that this coffee shop was in San Francisco, not on the alpine slopes.) I was totally flattered - even if his own sartorial choices were rather questionable. If a grizzled construction worker used a word usually reserved for fruit on any part of my anatomy, I'd be flattered too. I need to find a construction sight to walk past.

Ali said...

i dream of dirty old construction men complimenting my posterior.

(did i just really admit that?)

but not one has ever. and i'm not even pregnant. no fair!

also...ps...i can't handle when people have quadraboob. ew.

skiplovey said...

That reminds me of an ad I saw in a magazine awhile back. This youngish hip guy is sitting at a table with his girlfriend TOTALLY checking out this cute pregnant lady wearing HOT pregnant clothes.
What?? Weirdest ad. My husband and I laughed for days over that.
But I guess it's true, pregnant ladies can still be HOT.

Lindsay said...

I hate the quadraboob too, but I have a question, what do you do when you have a friend who has it? What do you say if anything? I'm curious to know what you would do.

Stefanie said...

We had a receptionist at our office for a while who had chronic and recurring quadraboob. I never realized there was a term for it.

Also, I totally understand the mixed feelings about compliments from generally unwanted sources. Just enjoy it, my friend.

Stefanie said...

Oh! And I forgot... what book are you reading??

gorillabuns said...

At least they didn't say you had a fat/phat ass! I get this quite often as you very well know. I don't think they mean it as a compliment.

Man, I can't believe you are EIGHT MONTHS ALONG!!!????!!!!

Christine said...

Oh dear. It makes me decidely worst that I used to feel complimented when the homeless of America's (no longer) most dangerous city, Camden. Really. Days when I would wear my ridiculously bubble coat with my hair in a rats' nest looking bun, I would still get a "hey there pretty baby."

Makes me miss public transportation and walking everywhere.

ALSO, 8 months! Yay!

The Over-Thinker said...

I did a post on finding a good bra and OH THE E-MAILS. I can't believe how many other women were on the same quest. Alas, I still haven't found a good one. I'm up to taking the BioFit Cuppage Challenge.

Lara said...

Hee - you go, girl! I once learned that a Nigerian (male) paralegal at my old law firm was telling people that I had a great ass. I TOTALLY should have been mortified and embarrassed, but instead, I was secretly flattered/pleased. Those Nigerians, they like a little junk in the trunk, apparently.

rebcram said...

Luscious?!? I'd take it regardless of the source. I must say, you do look pretty damn HOTTT, eight months pregnant or not. :)

kerrianne.org said...

The fact that he called your ass "luscious" rather than deciding upon the traditional cat-call or whistle is my favorite part of this story.

Whiskeymarie said...

I got a "whoot-whoo" from a skanky guy in a rusty pickup the other day, and I can't say it didn't make me smile.
Just a little.

moosh in indy. said...

Take whatever you can get at 8 months pregnant. Not saying you're a hag not pregnant, it just takes balls to hit on a pregnant lady. Unless you're in the small town of Vernal Utah, then it's just known as completely normal.