This is Only a Test

So remember over a week ago, when I was all, “Help me pick out what to wear to the fancy dinnerrrrr!” and you came out in droves with advice?

Well, the black outfit was the winner. In the end, I suppose it was more fitting for the event in question, and afforded me the opportunity to get some cute new shoes to go with it. (More on those in a minute.) That said, I do still love the brown lace outfit, so if one of you would like to throw some sort of fancy ball/party/bar mitzvah/cotillion/box social and invite me so that I can wear it some time before the end of this pregnancy? That would be AWESOME. I promise I'll behave.

Here’s what the full outfit looked like:

Thanks again for your advice!

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In other news, I had a checkup with my (very cute) obstetrician today, which included my gestational diabetes test. This is noteworthy not only because hot obstetrician and I randomly discussed the finer points of making beef jerky, but also because…I actually took my gestational diabetes test.

You see, I have been trying to take the test for three weeks in a row now. Due to circumstances beyond my control, however, my appointments kept getting messed up in random ways. And each time, the mess-up happened AFTER I had already drank the wretched glucose drink (“Glucola”) for the appointment and was about to hurl, and my fetus (let’s officially call it Kawika, Heather B.’s original suggestion) was hopped up on the sugar and performing Rockette-like kicks against my ribcage.

The first week, it turned out they had given me the wrong date, so the office was closed...

And then last week, I drank EXPIRED GLUCOLA, which would have rendered the results of the test invalid...

I'm happy to say that this week, it finally worked out, and I showed that test who was boss. (Oh, and here are the shoes that I wore with my black outfit to the dinner.) I must say, I will laugh my ASS off if I actually have gestational diabetes after all that.

Incidentally, I just learned that my cute obstetrician IS ALSO A VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTER. So in addition to delivering bebes and curing his own beef jerky, HE SAVES PEOPLE FROM BURNING BUILDINGS.

Be still my heart.

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J is in Vegas on another business trip, and this time, I made him bring his camera, in the event he happened upon any Gossip Girl stars again. Naturally, since he came prepared with the camera, it has not happened. YET. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, I’ll be taking my usual, sane approach to him being out of town.

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(Pssst: Another “Ask a Jew” post is in the works. I have a lot of questions to answer from the comments on the last one, but if you have any more, please feel free to submit them!)