Okay, so I have a few real posts running through my head right now, but honestly, it's a bit hectic over here, seeing as I'm simultaneously attempting to work from home, return emails, and cook. Apropos of nothing (but possibly the dessert we had during my birthday dinner last week) J has requested that I make chocolate mousse. I've never done this before, but I threw myself into it whole hog (I'm channeling my grandpa here), and went to far as to purchase tiny chocolate cups for said mousse. Tiny cups, I say! Made out of chocolate! Into which I am putting lovingly hand-crafted chocolate mousse! I am ALL Martha Stewart up in this piece. I'm unstoppable! I might even make a radish rose to garnish my salad! Or silkscreen my own windowshades! Although please stop me if I start doing things like this. Because really, Baby's First Caesar Salad Costume is taking things a tad too far:
Anyway, I'm using this self-alloted 10 minute break to share with you a few things that have totally made my week, in terms of LAUGH-OUT-LOUD HILARITY:
First up, this article, sent to me by my friend Darren. It has the real word for Manly Parts in the title, so perhaps don't read it at work; however, the title alone ("Woman Tricked Into S*x by P*nis Cream Treatment") pretty much tells you all you need to know. And in case you're curious, the article indicates that the woman appears to be of sound mind, and happens to be A TEACHER.
Next, this picture, which my brother took at college and sent to me. Because he knows I appreciate these things.
I keep looking at it and snickering to myself, because I keep wondering, just how bad does the Vomit Problem have to be for the custodian to go to his computer, make a sign, LAMINATE it, and post it by the sinks? And by writing "these sinks", there appears to be an implication that there are other sinks more suitable for vomiting, no? And why am I thinking about this so much?
Finally, I just had the following conversation with my mother:
Me: [After listening to a story in which she overextended herself.] Mom, you're really too nice to everyone.
Her: Oh, no, I'm not. (For in addition to truly being the nicest person ever, she doesn't even REALIZE how incredibly nice she is.)
Me: You totally are. You have to say no to people every once in a while, and just focus on you!
Her: Oh, you're crazy. Hold on, I just need to go change over the laundry.
M: Wait, wasn't [Cleaning Woman] just over?
Me: She didn't do the laundry?
Her: No, she never does.
Me: But whenever I came to visit with the kids this summer, she was always doing laundry. Like, nonstop. And lugging huge sacks of rice to her car. What's up with that?
Her: Oh. Well, yeah. That was her laundry. And I bought her the rice.
Me: Uh, what?
Her: Well, her washer's broken, so...she's been doing it here.
Me: But she doesn't do yours and dad's laundry.
Me: So she comes here, and you pay her by the hour, during which time she DOES HER OWN LAUNDRY BUT NOT YOURS? And you keep buying her incredibly huge sacks of rice?
Her: [sheepishly] Yeah.
Seriously, is she not the sweetest person? But what am I going to do with her? And it's not like they've had great success with cleaning ladies before; need I remind you of the Panty Bandit? (Mom? If you're reading, I know you'll never tell her to stop doing her laundry at the house, but for the love of cheese, MAKE HER DO YOUR LAUNDRY, TOO. AND STOP BUYING HER BATTLESHIP-SIZED SACKS OF RICE.)
Annnd....my ten minutes are up. Before I could even talk about our Rosh Hashanah and my purchase of the world's worst razors. Oh, well.
T and Lo wish you all the loveliest of weekends!