OH, REALLY.
You think you’re hot shit, don’t you, Payless?
How else to explain the fact that you are attempting to charge $75 for FAUX SUEDE PIRATE BOOTS?
What gives, Payless? Have you been dating above your class, or something? Did you have a fling with a Louboutin and think that’s your world now? Because I have news for you, Payless: IT’S NOT.
I’ve always been your biggest proponent, Payless. Ever since that cold blustery day when I was on my way to work, and the rain was basically falling horizontally, and I, not wanting to ruin my pricey flats, stepped in out of the cold into your warm, pleather and vinyl-scented embrace. Yes, you were the only shoe store open at that time of the morning, but still. I gave you a chance. I bought a pair of cheap shoes that, to my surprise, were among my most-complimented heels. They wormed their way into my wardrobe rotation…AND MY HEART. Even when popular opinion branded you cheap, crappy and generally the footwear equivalent of Bad Idea Jeans, I championed your wares. Sure, one runs the risk of losing a heel in a sewer grate while wearing them, or perhaps tearing an ankle strap in public, but I found all of that to be part of the excitement! I never knew WHAT was going to happen, but if something DID go awry, I was only out $25, tops, and I had a story, to boot! (Heh. Boot.)
Which brings me to today, Payless. I’ll admit, you're not generally the first place I look for boots (or the last), for that matter, but I was online, and one click led to another. I was curious. After all, I reasoned, you’d just brought the most perfect pair of black t-strap heels into my life…
So perhaps you’d also have some cheap-ass booties for me? I’m admittedly not sold on The Whole Booties Thing, you see, and have a hard time envisioning myself wearing them without looking like an extra in Little House on the Prairie. Of course, I figured that you, Payless, would have the perfect pair for me to test-drive this latest trend without committing to it completely, by which I mean, “shelling out a ludicrous amount of cash, only to openly weep about the stupidity of the purchase in six month’s time, much like I did after the Great Jellies Resurgence of ‘95.”
I clicked through a few pages of boots, when one pair stopped me cold, and my jaw dropped. The boots were knee-high, faux suede, and would not look unbefitting on Captain Hook. It was not the appearance of the boots, however, that elicited such a reaction, but rather the price. Though they were presently on sale for $49.99, apparently, at some point in the recent past, they were SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS.
Payless. PAYLESS. Come on now. You’re the cheap, plastic shoe place. NOTHING MORE. And yes, I’m aware that Pat Field of Sex and the City fame slapped her name on designed these bad boys, but that does not make this okay. We all have aspirations, Payless. Hell, I’d love to be on any number of competitive dance shows. But I know in my heart (and my unlying, uncoordinated hips) that it is not to be. And likewise, Payless, you too should take a step back, just for a moment, and remember your roots: The roots of delightful bargain pleather footwear, and not freaky faux suede boots (described as “supple,” no less) costing nearly as much as a pair of flats from J. Crew.
Get it together, Payless.
With warm wishes for the holiday season,
Metalia
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25 comments:
Never have truer words been spoken. I feel the same way when Target - Target! - is selling clothing items over $100. Who do they think they are?
Heh. The smell of that store gags me. (Pretty strappy heels, though!)
Amen.
And, also, HOW DARE YOU. You've made me realize that I did used to own not one, BUT TWO heinous pairs of booties ten or so years ago. PROBABLY from Payless.
Thank goodness, I've not been into a Payless in 5 or so years as the only shoes they carry in size 11 are either for Drag Queens or Nurses.
I feel the same way about booties. I like them, but I'm not ready to fully commit to them. There are some cute, cheap ones at lulus.com. I'm thinking about getting these
http://www.lulus.com/products/Pink+Duchess+Ruby+Black+Peep+Toe+Bootie+Heel/10012.html
I have one pair of heels I love from Payless, but they're definitely cheap! And, I also get tons of compliments on them!
Haha, that was all kinds of awesome. It's almost as bad as Old Navy selling Cashmere sweaters, now! Why can't a cute crappy store just STAY a cute crappy store? Psssht!
OMG...i just looked at them! EW EW EW!!!! I thought maybe they were going to ever so slightly resemble these
http://www.aldoshoes.com/ca-eng/women/boots/dress-classics/69540929-frihaga
Which I must say, i'm totally digging!
but they DON'T, the heel, they have that awful, skanky drag queen from 1994 heel. I am so grossed out. The nerve!
I do find it tres, tres sad that even the crap stores like Payless and Walmart are moving out of my price range on shoes. Time to start cobbling together footwear from tree bark and mouse sinew.
:-p
I haven't been there in years, but I remember when their shoes used to go on sale for buy a pair get a pair free. Now it's buy one get one half off...But they call it a BOGO sale. Misleading, aren't we, Payless?
The only reason anyone should spend $75 at Payless is if they are buying every available style in their size at once. Wait. Scratch that. Never is every available style a worth-buying style. Hence, NOBODY should spend $75 at Payless. Word.
I will admit to having some shows from Payless. I am poor and I have large feet (size 11) and up until the last few years, you couldn't find size 11 so readibly available. Especially if you didn't want to pay a crapload of money, which I can't because I am poor.
But really? $75?? That's ridiculous. Does this mean that Christian Soriano's shoes are going to be that much too? You heard he's designing for them too.
That is hysterical!
I took my 17 year old cousin who is here visiting from Israel to Payless on Saturday (bec where else would you take them?), and came across rain boots for close to $50 - at payless none the less!!!
I was in awe like you were- what the hell?
happy hannuka!
Seriously- what the hell Payless? Time for you to be taken down a peg or two....
confession: i'm afraid of the bootie.
afraid! is it a shoe? is it a boot? it's all way too confusing for me. that being said, i might be a little bit afraid of payless shoe source too..hmmm
SO true!
What is up with them lately?
Did you know Stride Rite Co bought them? I think that's the problem!
S
Really! $75? Oh, Payless, you ho.
Although I have to say I am a BIG fan of the BOGO concept and will ransack the store until I can find a second pair because, hello?, BOGO???
Oh, Payless. I have always supported you, but you are NOW ON NOTICE.
Perhaps they figure they can charge $75 because, as the description claims, there are four different ways of wearing them ("above the knee, at the knee, under the knee, or scrunch them"). It's like four different pairs of boots! What a bargain!
I also have a pair of heels from Payless that I still wear, after three years, and I still get compliments on. The fake suede is starting to rub off, but you can't tell unless you look real close.
Here, Here! I actually noticed this too and I was all, wtf?? They really need to stop. I hate cheap places trying to sell stuff for expensive.
It's so not happening.
Target bothers me also, Janssen...they have great things, but when they want 50.00 for a bundle of decorative sticks? See this, Target? This is me, drawing THE LINE.
I agree with you, Metalia. And you know what else bothered me about them...(Rant on) When Star Jones was their spokesperson. There is no way on EARTH she would be caught dead in PSS shoes...it's just not possible (Rant off.) I would rather take my $75.00, pair it with (teehee), another $75.00, and buy the Cole Haan Air Beau Mary Janes I've been eyeing :o)
Take care!
Michelle
What recession?
heh. my friend thought they had changed their name to "bogo" because of the buy one, get one free signs that were everywhere.
ita, $75 is ridiculous for that store. just because a "famous" person designed it doesn't mean it needs to be that much.
that annoys me. or when places like gap sell shoes that have crappy cardboard bottoms that get destroyed within one season of wearing them.
yes, but when they have BOGO, two pairs have shoes for $30...can't be beat, especially when you break off the heel of your shoe walking into a courthouse to deliver a closing argument. Not that that has ever happened to me or anything. And not that there is a payless very close to the courthouse I practice in.
I used to shop at Payless..! I never expect such bad things from them.
So true! I love Payless but that's just too much. Their American Eagle moccasins are amazing though! So comfortable.
Payless is actually disgusting to me for this. I saw a really cute pair of boots and they were $45. No frigging way. I refuse to pay over $20 for shoes in this store. What I genrally do is wait until they are changing their season stock and buy them on sale. lol
So I buy sandals when it cold, and boots when it's hot.
Also, someone needs to slap them for their sneaker prices. Why would I pay $40 for some payless sneakers, when I can go to Kohls or JC Penny's and catch a sale and get Nike or something. Yeah, right.
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