The wind was shrieking and howling last night, like so many American Idol Contestants of Contrived Badness. T woke up from it, whimpering and calling for me.
"Mommy, put the wind away," he whispered, hugging me sleepily. I told him I had put the wind away, so he could relax now. He smiled and turned over, eyes already closed.
Now, in the hands of another, more gifted blogger, that tale could've been extended for a full post, and there would have been pictures and possibly poetry, and of course, ruminations on the Wonder of How Kids Think. I can honestly see it now, and it would have been a thing of beauty. Seriously.
You're here with me, however, and therefore, my first thought when he said this to me was, "Goddammit, why do I not have an effing band?" Because you see, people, if I had a band, then I would likely be hard at work on my new album. And maybe the album wouldn't have been coming together as well as we'd hoped, and the songs weren't flowing, or whatever, but then! After this touching moment, I'd have a flash of inspiration, and breathlessly rush to the recording studio, finding Tony, our bassist, and Jeff, our moody yet brilliant guitarist.
I'd tell them what happened, and together, we'd decide that "Put the Wind Away" would make a great song (sample lyric: "Don't tell me it's all gonna be okay/That's like trying to put the wind away..."). It would ultimately turn out to be the galvanizing force that pushed us to complete our album (which would, naturally, be called "Put the Wind Away"). I would craft an enigmatic album cover, fraught with Some Deeper Meaning, But Really, Pink Apples in Soft Focus, and "Put the Wind Away" would turn out to be THE break-up song of the year, and net us our first platinum record.
And then! I'd be making my rounds on the talk show circuit while the rest of the band glowered backstage, all cold there in my shadow with no sunlight on their faces and content to let me shine (for that's their way). David Letterman would ask me, "So, how did you come up with the name of your album?," and I'd throw my head back, laugh, and casually say, "Oh, Dave! It's the funniest story; you see, my son woke up in the middle of the night, and..." BECAUSE YOU ALL HAVE READ/SEEN INTERVIEWS WITH MUSICIANS JUST LIKE THAT.
Why?! Why do I not have a band? (Or, you know, any discernible musical talent?)
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Thank you all so much for your support and kind wishes when I was at Fashion Week; links to the rest of the posts appear in the BeautyHacks widget on the right of this page, but there is one post in particular I know a lot of you have been waiting for: My TIM GUNN INTERVIEW!