I was pregnant when she wrote her post, so I’ll blame the lapse in memory on Pregnancy Brain, a convenient catchall excuse if ever there was one. Still, I’m glad I mentioned it to her, because I’d have hated for her to read this post and think to herself, “That Metalia. Not only does she drink corn juice, but she also steals post ideas and passes them off as her own.”
However! I promptly forgot about the idea to write the post (as I am wont to do), and was only reminded of it once again yesterday: I had occasion to try a bunch of new perfumes (by which I mean, “wandered out for lunch and found myself lured into Sephora by some sort of cosmetic-related tractor beam”), and -- I don't know, you guys. I really wanted to find a New Perfect Scent, and maybe I have some sort of hypersensitive olfactory issues, but it’s like, NOTHING made me happy, perfume-wise. I finally settled on one (ONE) scent that made the cut (i.e., to actually try out ON MY PERSON, as opposed to the little paper stick), and it was a colossal mistake. It smelled kind of okay, but also kind of like you’d imagine a drunk-ass ho would smell on Taxicab Confessions. Or Flavor of Love. Or Rock of Love. Or--well, any show featuring copious appearances by drunk-ass hos, really.
I suppose it’s back to my old standbys for now, but first! (With a nod to lovely Slynnro) I bring you my perfume timeline:
1) Tribe – Okay. I’m probably the only person who ever wore this, but this was one of the “body sprays” made oh-so-popular in the late-‘80s early ‘90s. I believe the commercial had some heavy
2) Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden- Oh, how I begged for this for Hanukkah when I was in eighth grade. BEGGED. To my delight, I received it, and thought it was pretty much the best scent ever. I distinctly recall telling my mom how I would never be sick of it, ever. In retrospect, “cloying” doesn’t even begin to describe this perfume. I am sad to report that on special days, I would apply the perfume…while wearing my awesome floor-length navy blue jumper, which was covered with…you guessed it! Enormous, man-eating sunflowers! Completing the look were scrunch socks and clunky mary janes, so I really had quite the look going there for a while.
3) CKOne- Oh, ninth grade. The scent is actually not too bad, but once again, it’s what I wore it WITH that makes me cringe: Doc Martens, baggy jeans, thermal tees and flannel shirts OHMIGOD I KNOW, I LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS ONE OF THE MODELS IN THE AD.
4) Polo (the men’s version)- I didn’t personally wear it, but a number of my guy friends/boyfriends in high school did. This, to me, still smells great, and if I catch a whiff of it, it totally takes me back, and makes me think of high school boys.
Wait!! I didn’t mean--Not ACTUAL high school boys, right now, it’s just that it reminds me of BEING in high sch—No! No! Call off the Cougar alert! NOOOOO!
5) Issey Miyake L'Eau D'Issey – Show of hands: Was there honestly anyone out there who DIDN’T wear this, at least for a little bit?
6) Dirt by Demeter – I love this brand’s concept of kitschy, offbeat scents (e.g., Play-Doh, Funeral Home, etc.), and Dirt is my very favorite. I actually bought this in the Sephora located at the mall beneath the
8) Light Blue by Dolce & Gabanna – I began wearing this mid-college, right around the time when I first met J (we didn’t date until after we’d graduated, but that’s a story for another day); as a result, my scent memory (that’s a thing, right?) has the two of them inexorably linked in my mind. It’s still my go-to scent, and I really will never tire of it. ( Or him, for that matter.)
9) Spring Fever by Origins- I began wearing this when I started my first job, and wanted a new light-but-professional scent to be my "Work Perfume." (I AM A LOSAH.) Though, strictly speaking, I can’t speak for the perfume itself, but I am a huge, HUGE fan of their scented “body soufflé." To me, this just smells FRESH and CLEAN and SPRINGY (the season, not…not--the metal coils) and is another one of my “classics” that I hope I never get sick of.
10) Brit by Burberry – SPEAKING OF getting sick of things, I got this riiiight before I got pregnant with Toopweets. I loved it! Wore it everywhere! Adored it to no end!
After I became pregnant, I was stricken with really bad morning sickness, the kind that’s set off by merely thinking about boiled chicken, or shampoo, or…or..,YOUR (HERETOFORE) FAVORITE PERFUME. My god, it was truly a marvel at how quickly my feelings on this perfume turned.
Mentally, I knew I ENJOYED the scent, but in actuality, it had this visceral, violent, hurl-inducing effect on me. Of course, by this point, it was, like, embedded in everything I owned, so I pretty much wanted to die. Well, throw up constantly. Whatever. Funnily enough, even though I’m no longer pregnant, and the perfume no longer makes me ill, the MEMORY of it has effectively killed this perfume for me, forever.
So! What about you? What were some of your favorite perfumes/HUGE-ASS FRAGRANCE MISTAKES?
And equally important, now that you know the scents I currently wear on a regular basis (Light Blue and Spring Fever), do you have any recommendations for me? As much as I love them, I’m still looking for a new scent, considering I haven’t found (a new) The One in over three years.