- THAT’S Chef Paul Prudhomme? I thought that was Dom DeLuise. In fact, I’m still--yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re the same person. And I have no idea why.
- Speaking of which, I wonder if anyone else ever saw that movie Dom DeLuise was in, with the rascally mob-affiliated dog--voiced by Burt Reynolds--who gets snuffed out in a mob hit by a rival mob dog, and then he can’t get into heaven, and so he enlists the help of an adorable earthly orphan moppet, and then a ginormous sewer monster/alligator sings like Ethel Merman. No one ever believes me when I tell them that this is an actual movie. For children. Or anyone who's not currently under the influence of vast quantities of hallucinogenic drugs.
- Wait—was Dom DeLuise even IN that? Or am I confused because it’s a Don Bluth film?
- Ah, thank you, Wikipedia. It’s a Don Bluth film STARRING Dom DeLuise. Or possibly, according to me, Chef Paul Prudhomme. THIS IS JUST CONFUSING.
- Focus, Metalia, focus. Annnd, host Marc Summers just used the phrase “my inner squirrel,” which, while troubling, would also make a FANTASTIC band name.
- Commercial for Ace of Cakes! Must squelch weird secret crush on Duff! Squelching, squelching…Ah, the moment’s passed.
- Oh, this is some bullshit right here. What a ripoff. I could TOTALLY make my own sea salt, SHOW! All I need is…oh. Access to the sea. And an intricate drying tent involving a complicated system of solar panels. Huh. Well played, sea salt artisan. Well played.
- Too many of these episodes remind me of the fact that actual human hands have touched my foodstuffs before they reach me. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that.
- And now Marc is talking about shelf-stabilized pickles, which, gross. Also, the Vlasic pickle stork is among the freakier Random Cartoon Mascots. Doesn’t the stork bring babies? Are pickles a metaphor for babies? Pickle babies? Who thought of this? WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE? On the scale of Cartoon Mascot Badness, this is worse than that freaky mock turtleneck-wearing Golden Crisp Bear, but not quite as bad as the Charmin toilet paper bears. NOTHING IS WORSE THAN THEM. And ohmigod, the guy in the Pickle Stork costume is NOT helping to distract me from the fact that Purim is next week, and I STILL haven’t picked out costumes for the kids. (IF SOMEONE GIVES ME AN AWESOME IDEA THAT I USE, I WILL...I WILL…GIVE YOU SOMETHING. SOMETHING AWESOME. LIP GLOSS? A CD? GOLDEN DOUBLOONS? PLEASE HELP MEEEEEE.)
(Seriously. Not kidding about that at all. Except perhaps for the part about the doubloons. Those suckers are staying with ME.)
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26 comments:
I have no help for Purim costumes (except if I had kids I would make them go as characters from Dr. Horrible -- but I don't even know if you are into that kind of thing), but I do have thoughts about Unwrapped:
Speaking of people touching your foodstuffs, ALL I can think about is that Marc Summers was the host of Double Dare, where the contestants had to search for the important red flags in among some nasty "toe jam" in between the toes of a giant fake foot! I don't want that guy anywhere near my foodstuffs! I can't stop thinking about the toe jam when I see his cheerful face on the food network.
And oh, crap, I have probably ruined that show for you. But I have typed all of this and there's no going back! (SORRY!)
I love "All Dogs Go To Heaven." The dog Itchy is my favorite! Although it does have a rather adult theme to it but what cartoon for kids doesn't? It's how adults can watch these movies over and over.
As soon as I read about a dog that didn't get into heaven I knew exactly what you were talking about. Probably helps that I was seven when All Dogs Go to Heaven was released so I was in the key demographic.
All Dogs Go to Heaven! We owned the VHS when I was a kid.
Purim costumes - my 3 year old son is going to be a firefighter, and my 8 month old daughter will be a Dalmatian. Feel free to use these ideas -as we live in separate states no one will notice. And it leaves you cute theme-y options for mishloach manot (hot tamales, atomic fireballs, spicy chips, bottle of water). I'm not usually into themes, but a second child really gives you much more material....
two words, Metalia.
Slum. Dog.
best purim costumes EVER.
we're recycling our halloween costume & dude is going to be the cheshire cat. he's stoked on purim!
i saw 5 minutes of a george lopez stand-up comedy show once where he was talking about mexican migrant workers and that "everything you eat, we touched first!" (not an exact quote). made me think about people touching MY food, which is something i would rather not think about.
i have some good costume ideas: my baby will be a bee, and my son a beekeeper. there's also sheep and shepherd. for the boy: lumberjack, policeman, karate guy, rock star, construction worker, cowboy, etc. all of those can be made with supplies from your local dollar store, goodwill (just throw it in the laundry before use) and closet. good luck!
All Dogs Go To Heaven!! But I seriously don't remember it being mob oriented. That's just weird.
I heart Unwrapped. When there is nothing else on except for Law & Order reruns I'v already seen 18 times, Marc Summers always comes through for me! (I'm just waiting for the day when they randomly slime him in that kitcshy little diner)
To tag on to the firefighter costume, we did one year with my son as a firefighter and my daughter as the fire. I used flame legwarmers and hat and sewed some felt flames on to a black shirt. not too much work...
Mario & Luigi! Involving white baseball caps, green & red t-shirts, and overalls.
I suck the big one when it comes to costumes. My boys are into superheroes and Emily likes being a princess. We're boring.
I'm all disturbed about the stork-pickle thing. It's a good thing I eat Bick's ;)
That was a hilarious trip through the mind of Metalia. Hee.
But I am also confused about Chef Paul Prudhomme vs. Dom Deluise. Perhaps they are the same person???
Dress them both up as pickles!
Not to confuse the costume idea but, the pickle might be a symbol of what makes a baby?
LOL All Dogs Go to Heaven.
He'll always be Tiger and Jeremy to me.
I was reading that paragraph about the mascots, and the whole time I was thinking, "The Charmin bears are the WORST" and then you said it, and sigh...I love you more.
My best costume ever was "Milk, Gone Bad". I wore a white box and wrote "MILK" across the front, put on some blue eyeshadow, tattoo sleeves and taped a pack of cigarettes to the box.
Dude! Don't squelch your Duff love. Wear it with pride, yo!
Okay, so THIS? This right here? Is why I LOVE your blog.
Unfortunately this love does not come with Purim costumes. Now if you need Nowruz costumes, I'm your gal.
No real help for Purim costumes but I will leave you with this: do not, I repeat, do not dress your son like GI Joe...people will think he is Peter Pan. They are both green. I am NOT talking from personal experience.
When my little girl was three, I desperately wanted her to be a mermaid. I had it all planned out---I was going to sit her in a wagon, and tape pearlescent balloons all over like bubbles and her little tailfin would stick out and good glory, she would have been darling. I was going to make the twinfants be fish (after my husband wanted to tape them back to back to be a two-headed octopus but I said no) and be all themed adorableness. But she wanted to be a princess, and my idea never came to fruition. But you can have it!
um, how about the pickle stork for Purim? hehe
Dude! All Dogs go to Heaven! We had the VHS too!
"CHARLIE! You can never go back! YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK!!"
And of course, this lovely gem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mPjhtkTfUg
LOVE Don Bluth. Especially the animated movies, like The Secret of Nimh and The Land Before Time. And now I'm 8 again.
i totally loved "all dogs go to heaven", and I'm sure that i still know all the words to "let's make music together" - wow thanks for the flashback!
I have no answers about your costumes, but I do have an answer to your Vlasic stork puzzlement. Mr. Vlasic himself has been a client at the office where I work and he is one of the brothers who started the Vlasic company and they all used to be marketing guys and decided to market something that didn't have a "brand" name and chose pickles. The logo came about because they (a group of MEN) decided that a stork was appropriate b/c pregnant women crave pickles - hence the stork. Bringing pickles instead of babies. Just a little fun fact for you!
Every time I watch Unwrapped, I just look at Marc Summers and think "Man, he's come a long way from Double Dare."
Also, how come the Gamse Show Network doesn't play old episodes of Double Dare?
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