J and I go out to the movies relatively infrequently, so we try to make our selections count. Now, as you may or may not know, I have a crush on Paul Rudd. J is well aware of it, and he has a tiny man-crush on him as well, on account of The Awesome, so it’s cool. I could go on and on about how much I adore him, but why not let this
As you may have surmised, it was therefore a no-brainer that when the opportunity for a night out recently presented itself, J and I made a beeline to see I Love You, Man. I was excited. For the popcorn, and Slushee, yes, but also for the movie. In addition to Paul Rudd, I love a number of other people in the cast (Jason Segel, Rashida Jones, John Favreau), and was prepared for a rollicking good time. Which was a huge error on my part. Both the usage of the phrase "rollicking good time," and also, the high expectations.
I mean, I chuckled a few times, but overall? Bleh. Because here’s the thing: Paul Rudd is adorable (as always), but he’s truly at his best playing the douchebag. I mean, think about it: Clueless: Collegiate Granola Breath Douchebag. Anchorman: Sex Panther Douchebag. The 40 Year Old Virgin: Borderline Creepy Obsessed Ex-Boyfriend. Knocked Up: Smug, arch douchebag. Forgetting Sarah Marshall: That perma-high hotel employee on vacation that you want to punch in the face.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
And so, I was not really into this movie, where Paul’s character (Peter) is sort of a nebbishy, awkward guy. I did not enjoy seeing the usually smooth, confident Rudd stumble over his words, search for friends, and occasionally projectile vomit. It was disconcerting and incongruous, like seeing your biology teacher in the cereal aisle at the supermarket.
The same thing can be said for Jason Segel's character. He also played against type (i.e., the lovable oaf), with his character acting like a bona-fide crazy/aggressive person. It…wasn’t the best. Also, his teeth were icky, but now I’m just getting petty. (BUT NO I’M NOT! YOU HAVE TONS OF MONEY! INVEST IN SOME TEETH WHITENING GEL, MY GOD. )
Furthermore, perhaps the directors of the aforementioned movies were better at coaxing improvised performances from Rudd (and Segel), but here, it was PAINFULLY obvious when they were attempting to do so, and man, did they ever run some jokes into the ground. It was grating, rather than, you know, hilarious.
And please know, I adore most of the aforementioned movies. Clueless and Anchorman are a few of my all-time favorites, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall has an honest-to-God VAMPIRE MUSICAL, and--wait a minute...
(Oh. My. God. The wheels are turning…)
(Yes. Yes. MY GOD, I MUST DO IT.)
(TWILIGHT: THE MUSICAL!)
(I may have just had a psychotic break, but that doesn’t make my idea any less awesome.)
(Sample song: “Tomorrow: The Sparkle Song”)
The sun’ll come ouuuut,
Tomorrow!
And then my Edward will start to spaaaaarkle,
In the sunnnnnnn!
Just thinkin’ about
Tomorrow,
Makes me wish I could walk in a straight line,
I’m a kluuuuuutz!
When I’m stuck with a day that’s gray and lonelyyyyy,
I tell Edward to glug,
My blood!
Type AAAAAAAA!
Ohhhhhhh…
The sun’ll come out,
Tomorrow!
And Edward will sparkle,
And then murmurrrr.
RENESSSSSSSSSME!
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
He’ll sparkle!
Tomorrow!
“Renesme” is not a naaaaaame!
Whoa.
Where was I? Ah, yes. In short: I Love You, Man: not so great. The concept of a Twilight musical: definite greatness potential.
(Please don't make me pack! Quick! Give me the title for the next song in Twilight: The Musical! I shall write it now! Or reorganize my linen closet! ANYTHING BUT PACK.)
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28 comments:
Ack! I wish you hadn't posted this--we're going to see this next week! Still, I do love the cast, and your bf Paul and my bf Jason are just the sweetest in real life. I'm surprised you haven't run into Paul actually (like at Fashion Week or something equally as hip as you are)--he's everywhere in NYC! I swear when I lived there, I saw him at least twice a month, no exaggeration.
Man, you have all the luck. When you come to visit me (when ARE you coming, by the way? It's this month, right?!), can we stalk him together? Did I say stalk? I mean, casually bump into. Whilst hiding our stalkin' maps.
(And the movie WAS enjoyable; it just wasn't the best for either of them, by any measure.)
man, i completely lost it at "renessssssme!" you know, there IS a twilight musical, on youtube apparently. yours sounds better.
and i agree with you on both counts regarding the big oaf and the smug douche. yes and yes. and paul rudd has been one of my very favorites since clueless.
I was just telling Ali today that I Love You, Man made me question my Paul Rudd love, which I didn't think could ever happen because my love for him is pure and good. He was just a bit too wienie-ish for me.
see....i thought it was funny.
but that's probably because i don't find Jason Segel or Paul Rudd appealing, erm, sexually. love them both...but totally not into them...so maybe i was less critical. or something?
(but i could have done without the vomiting)
I can't see Jason Segel as anything but creepy since he serenaded Lindsay Weir on F&G. I was all "he's sweet, just over-eager" up to that point.
Personally, I liked the movie. I went to see it with my brother, and the sex talk kind of made me feel akward sitting in a dark theater with my bro, but all in all it was a good laugh.
I think Paul played akward well- he is adorable. But of course, he will alway sbe the step brother to Cher in my eyes....
have a happy passover!
Possible Twilight Musical Song Titles:
-Castle In a Cloud(y city) ("There is a castle in the clouds...I like to go there even though no one sleeeeeps...there's not any food for me to eeeeeeeat....not in the castle in the clouuuuuds.")
-Stare (a rousing song, sung to the tune of "hair," about Edward's brooding, captivating stare.)
-525,600 yeeeears ("how do you measure, a vampire's life")
Oh god, this idea has SO MUCH POTENTIAL.
I still want to see it, though. But at the rate we actually go see movies, we'll end up renting it on DVD :)
Have a great trip! Travel safely!
Aww, I liked "I Love You, Man." Not as funny as "Role Models," though. And I agree, he's better when he plays the douchey guy.
I love your Twilight musical! Here's my contribution, to the tune of "One" from, uh, A Chorus Line? I think?
One
Supernatural boyfriend
But which one will I choose?
(duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh)
One
Vampire and a werewolf
Human boys just aren't that cooool
One day I suddenly found myself
In love
With
Both!
Which mythical creature here do
I
Love
Mooooost?
It needs work, but you get the idea.
That was, quite simply, fantastic. I just laughed so hard at my desk that some people walking by looked at me funny.
(and p.s. OF COURSE Anchorman is one of your favorite movies. As it is mine. Humor twins FTW!))
Tears. Of. Mirth.
hey there love, it's your crazy Albany cousin. i should say crazy-semi-stalker-cousin because for like a month now i've been trying to sneak readings of your phenomenomenomenal writings into my daily work life. so wrong, but sooo right. you rock my unmatching socks off with your blog. i also made the mistake of showing yer blog to TigerBoy (the big C) and he was pretty much addicted to your blog for like 87 reading hours. He insisted on reading all of your blog entries (in voices!!! with expressive movements!!) to me like he was auditioning to play the part of you when the great Metalia the Movie starts development. So you've got two fans. two more. so that's like sixty four billion and two. But to the point of this blog, i lurve Paul Rudd too. Mostly because of his nose (I may begin my own first blog just so I can blog about my infatuation with lovely boy noses) but who knows (who nose??) he is just dreamy. i will not go see hey man in the theaters, because of your wisdom. even if i have a two-for-one-coupon. i'll wait for the dvd to come out. that way i can pause the image of Paul Rudd and pretend his character is kind of intelligent-sensitive-man-meets-cocky-goofball. boo for movie. yay for imagination!
can't wait to see you this weekend. i will hug you and squeeze you and call you FRED.
lots of love, d
OK, now I've heard two thumbs-down reviews and one thumbs-up review of that movie. I still want to see it, such is my love for Paul as well.
On a related disappointing note, I saw "Role Models" last week. Meh.
You might get more packing done if you'd just put down the liquor.
Metalia, you have found your calling. You must must MUST create Twilight: The Musical. Seriously.
("Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - a work in progress..)
Somewhere, outside of Forks, we'll get hitched,
Then my wolfy best friend shows up
And tries to start a fight.
Somewhere, out on an island, we'll get it on
I'll end up getting pregnant,
And ask Rosealie for help.
Someday I'll have a baby, and get pissy when her boyfriend calls her
Nessssssie...
Then scary vampires come to Forks, we'll fight them and kick ass,
Yeah, I'm a newwwbie...
oh, no. no, no, no....
i know you are NOT trying to get all up on my man.
p.s. husband & i both liked the movie and kind of laughed. like, a lot.
p.p.s. i still have never read/watched Twilight. waiting to be the last person in the world to get on the train.
Paul Rudd is delish and can do no wrong. *fingers in ears* *lalalalalalaaaa*
You know, I was able to suspend disbelief through the ENTIRE Twilight series...up to "Renesmee." Then I lost it, and the spell was broken from that point on. I know the woman went through life as a Stephanie-with-no-a, but COME ON. Call me shallow and possibly prejudiced against weirdass, made-up names (go ahead -- I TOTALLY cop to it), but it ruined the ending. Stupid, stupid.
I'd have liked the fairly craptastic movie better if Kristen Stewart weren't so freakin' sullen all the time. Even in interviews, the girl can't manage to pretend, at all, even for a second, that she doesn't think interviews are nothing more than being forced to answer profoundly stupid questions from profoundly lame people. On the other hand, she IS 18, and I guess it IS nice to see a sullen, too-cool-for-all-you-losers teenager working, instead of flashing her goodies for the paparazzi....
Sorry, I love you man, but I skipped any references to Twilight in this post.
Unrelated but related, I finally saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That movie is fucking awesome, in ways totally unexpected.
Oh, Paul Rudd as the douchey surf instructor in Forgetting Sarah Marshall... this post just inspired me to watch a clip of him exclaiming "You sound like you're from London!" while Russell Brand bleeds profusely on Youtube. If you need more procrastination ideas, I highly recommend it. Also, if you like Paul Rudd, you should rent I Could Never Be Your Woman, with Michelle Pfeifer. You will fall deeper in love.
Awesome post.
There are so many songs you don't even need to change the title of... you can just work them in AS IS!
"And I Am Telling You..." (Dreamgirls) sung by Bella of course
"Razzle Dazzle" (Chicago) during sparlking scenes
"I Feel Pretty" (West Side Story), as sung by Rosalie
"Stayin' Alive" (Sat Night Fever)
"Let's Go Ouuuuuuooootttt Tonight" of course sung by the werewolves and howling in the out part (Rent)
Wow, I took that assignment way too seriously :)
I have to say Role Models was a hell of alot funnier .
I watched I love you Man with my fiance and he was cracking up , like all the other men in the theater , but I just sat there , thank god for brick breaker on my blackberry , that kept me amused for a good 30 minutes!
I still heart Paul ...
I thought 'Role Models' was very funny, and he plays the douchebag, so win-win!
The Twilight musical (and all the comments on it) is BRILLIANT! I am going to link to this post and direct all my friends here. I laughed so freaking hard over this.
I'm trying to get through the first book, only because I don't want to be the only person who hasn't actually read the damn thing. Except that I'm not even actually reading it...I'm listening to it on CD. Which I think is worse than reading it, because the narrator is horrible.
It's almost worth it though, just because at least knowing the story made the reading the song ideas so much more enjoyable!
As per usual, this was A fantastic post! I love all the song suggestions in the comments!
Renesme is not a name. It is SO STUPID!
Seriously, what was Stephanie Meyer thinking? Renesme? God awful. Your Twilight Musical IS. HYSTERICAL. Please continue to spend all your procrastination time devoted to this. hee hee
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