Thank you all so much for your kind comments about Thalon and Maddie in my last post. (I'm actually amidst compiling a list of all the posts written in Thalon's honor, so if you'd written one and would like it to be included on the list, just email it to me (metaliablog[AT]gmail.com), or leave it in the comments here.)
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So, Passover is now over, and I, consequently, am sitting at my table, having some Inappropriate Feelings about this here salt bagel. Seriously, eight days without bread will cause you to have elaborate bagel-centric fantasies. You heard it here first. Run away with me, salt bagel! I have missed you so! We could be so happy together! You, me, some avocado and Swiss cheese! Oh, come on now, salt bagel! Come back here! What?! How was that crossing a line? OF COURSE I love you more than avoca--no, YOU'RE untoward, salt bagel!
Yeah, part of that insanity might also be due to the fact that I have a miserable cold, and the Sudafed I've taken to combat it is having its usual speed-like effect on me. Really, I don't know why I never learn. I cannot sit still, my heart is beating like a hummingbird's, and I cannot focus on anything. Except, evidently, imaginary fights with anthropomorphic baked goods. I imagine that I'm really fun to be around right now.
And--I know, I know, I should try a Neti pot instead of Western medicine, but they scare me, okay? I have visions of royally screwing up the process and having the salt water solution flying out my eyeball sockets or something. I'm not that coordinated on the best of days, and Neti pots seem to be quite the undertaking. So, if you have a solution (heh) that doesn't involve meth-like effects on my (apparently hypersensitive) immune system, AND can allay my fear of Eyeball Leakage, then I am all ears. I cannot wait for this cold to pass.
Speaking of things I cannot wait for, REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY, OH MY GOD. I've only seen that little preview-y snippet (you cannot arrive any sooner, May 12th premiere date!) but man, those bitches may very well be my favorites yet. Perhaps it's the soft spot I have for my home state (holla!), or maybe it's the crazy lady flipping over a restaurant table in a rage, or maybe it's both, but wow, does that show look amazing. And by the way, it is as if they cast this thing by walking blindfolded through my hometown mall, randomly grabbing women by the waistband of their Bebe velour sweatpants, THAT IS HOW NEW JERSEY THESE WOMEN ARE.
Another thing I greatly enjoyed about the Real Housewives preview was the airing of the Body Snake advertisement, the best commercial to hit the scene since the Snuggie. And lest you think I am exaggerating, I implore you to watch it now:
The fumbling guy! The fumbling guy's facial expressions!"Safely reach your bottom!" THE FACT THAT THE THING IS ACTUALLY CALLED A "BODY SNAKE." Seriously. Seriously. That is an actual commercial airing on television. I cannot stop replaying it. Because as always, I am apparently easily amused.
In other news, I am still running the Pull-Ups giveaway contest on my other blog. Your odds of winning now are EXCELLENT.
Finally, it's time for another installment of Ask A Jew! This time, I'll be focusing on answering Sabbath-related questions, though really, as you know, I'll answer pretty much anything. (You know how much I love answering your questions, yes?) So by all means, ask away!
Have a great weekend, everyone.