Not Even the Fresh Prince: A love story of sorts, and a contest.

From time to time, I get questions here asking how J and I met, and the story is too long and complicated and personal to get into here, so I shy away from discussing it. And yeah, I realize I just made it seem like we met when I was putting myself through school by bikini Jell-O wrestling or something, but that’s not the case at all. We met after I’d put all that behind me, although I do still keep in touch with Mistress Sally from the circuit. Anyway, I don’t often speak about J on here, but again, that’s borne out of a desire to keep a little bit of my life to myself, and not because, I, you know, secretly loathe him. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth, and rather than bore you with gross shmoopiness, I will simply tell you why I know J and I are meant to be together. I think I may have mentioned this at some point in the past, but it bears repeating.

As a young boy, my darling and brilliant husband had a brief but costly addiction to calling the D.J. Jazzy Jeff Party Line. Yes, that is correct; DJ Jazzy Jeff had his own party line. There was a rap in the commercial, apparently, which young J found very compelling. And by compelling, I mean he claims to have called approximately 15 times in one month, hanging up mid-call. His plan was, apparently, to soak up all the DJ Jazzy Jeff-related goodness that he could in that free first minute, so as to avoid getting charged. Being young, he'd try to guess when the minute was up, and then boom, hang up.

The plan failed spectacularly; there were ridiculously high charges on the phone bill, and his parents wanted to kill him (but his sister took the fall. Awww). Now, obviously, there are some tough questions here, like "Did the opening message change from day to day, or was my future husband just repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting a different result, which is the very definition of insanity?" "How did Jazz even warrant his own hot line?" and of course, "What was the phone number? Obviously, the first part was 1-800, and the end part was J-A-Z-Z, but what about the middle? L-U-V? D-J-J?"

The thing is, though? I AM ALMOST AS BAD. It was only fairly recently that I finally admitted to him that when I was about 9, I may have once called the Corey Haim and Corey Feldman Teen Chat line. (And also got in trouble for it.) Now, obviously, his is SO MUCH WORSE. I mean, I made one call, and got two “celebrities,” which is just good economic sense right there, if you ask me. He got in trouble, and for what? DJ Jazzy frigging Jeff. Not even the Fresh Prince, people. NOT EVEN THE FRESH PRINCE.

Ever since we first realized that we weren't the...savviest of children, “NOT EVEN THE FRESH PRINCE” has become our new rallying call, and the statement that can and will set either of us off into a helpless giggle attack in even the most serious of situations. There’s nothing like still learning new (and admittedly hilarious) things about the person you’ve known for almost ten years, and with whom you’ve spent the past five-and-a-half years building a life. I love and support him, and honestly, people? With the exception of the horrifically negligent manner in which I maintain the clothing-covered chair in the corner of our bedroom, he’s incredibly encouraging with pretty much everything I do.

And so, here’s my point with all this. J works for a media company which owns, among other things, a ton of the licenses for the comics that run in the newspaper each day. They have been working on a new product, and there has been much brainstorming about how to get the word out, which he and I had been discussing, as well. I came up with a little idea of my own that I could execute, and wanted to surprise him, but I decided I had to first check with him to make sure it was kosher. (Hello, J’s company! I cover a great many important and serious topics here, such as the economy and world politics, and never anything about Top Gun or Twilight Drinking Games! What’s that you say? Flop sweat? Well, I never! It is simply warm in here, that’s all!)

Now, although it's no longer a surprise for him, here’s the deal: His company has created something called Motion Comics which are a cross between a regular comic strip and animation. The first release of the Motion Comics was for Zits (which was one of my favorite comic strips even before I knew J, and NO I’M NOT JUST SAYING THAT SERIOUSLY NO FOR REAL). I am telling you this because in order to help my husband publicize the Motion Comics, I’m running a (CRAZY EASY) contest. NO ONE has paid me to do this (or hell, um, even asked me to do this), it's just that I think the Motion Comics are cool, innovative, and I’m quite proud of my husband for having been involved. And if there's a way I can let people know about it, I figured hey, why not?

To enter the contest, just go to the YouTube channel that houses the Motion Comics. Watch a few of them, come back here, and simply say in your comment which one you liked the best.

Is that it? YES, THAT’S IT.While I can’t check up on you, all I ask is that you actually really do watch one (or more!) of the Motion Comics (they’re literally all of 30 seconds long, at most) before coming back to leave your comment.

Because the prize? It's good, people. A $50 Sephora gift card. I don’t play around. So, yeah. Be honest.



I must reiterate, no one is compensating me for this, and the cost of the gift card is out of my own pocket. I truly do this out of love for J, and that love is something no one can deny...NOT EVEN THE FRESH PRINCE.

(Contest will close on Tuesday, 5/19 at noon, E.S.T. I'll select a winner at random from all entries. Good luck!)