It would appear, my friends, that we have a ghost.
And, yes, I can only assume Haunted Apartment is venturing deep into shark jumping territory, blog-wise, but hear me out.
Do you perchance recall, a few months back, when I recounted the chilling tale of how Lo’s musical toy ball—which had been clearly placed in a very specific spot in the living room-—mysteriously not only turned itself on, but FOUND ITS WAY INTO THE BABY’S CRIB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
As I indicated at the time, I believed the explanation to be that this could have been the work of a malevolent baby demon, or some sort of murderous clown, but PROBABLY a sleepwalking toddler. You know, Occam’s Razor, and all that. Well, sucks to your Razor, Occam. WE ARE ALL HAUNTED AND SHIT UP IN THIS PIECE.
Ever since that fateful winter night, we’ve noticed an increased incidence of, shall we say, strange occurrences involving the children’s toys. Mechanical wind-up train slowly rolling itself out of the room containing my two SLEEPING kids? Check. Activity table commencing enthusiastic rendition of the Alphabet Song in the living room while we are ALL in the kitchen? Check. Children's books randomly appearing in strange places other than their shelves? CHECK.
Do you think I’m kidding? Exaggerating, perhaps? I assure you I am not. Why, allow me to share with you the discussion J and I just had moments ago:
J: What are you writing about?
Me: I’m telling everyone about the ghost.
J: Whatever, just don’t anger it.
AND SCENE.
Please note that he’s normally the level-headed one in this relationship.
We really can't think of a logical explanation here OTHER than ghost, and yet, no one is more surprised than I that we’re kind of taking the haunting in stride. After all, some of my supernatural fears over the years have included, but are not limited to, portraits –of seventeenth century despots OR OTHERS--coming alive, demonic possession of dolls and/or action figures, and zombification via freak zoo monkey bite accident. J claims he is generally unfazed by the ghost, since he is, in his words, “familiar with that world, with magic and the occult, on account of [his] reading the Harry Potter series in its entirety.”
(My husband, ladies and gentlemen!)
Our general approach has been less Ghostbusty (And…now I’ve found my perfect name for an adult film geared towards the undead), and more like that of solicitous inkeepers. “Hi therrrrre,” we’ll trill nervously when the toys, you know, come alive. “We aren’t afraid of youuuuu! We know you mean us no harrrrrrm!” We’ve mulled over the idea of telling the Unseen Presence to leave, but clearly that might just serve to piss it right the hell off, and then you just know I’ll be dealing with an orgy of homicidal Elmo dolls and really, who needs that?
I would love to hear similar tales (we CAN'T be the only people who've experienced eerie shit like this, can we? CAN WE?), as well as your ideas for ways in which I can conduct subtle exorcisms, but if, in the interim, I hear a growly woman’s voice inquiring as to whether or not I’m a god, I WILL SAY YES.
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44 comments:
I'm skeered. That's all I have for now.
We too have the (I am thinking same) activity table that ALMOST EVERY NIGHT commences an enthusiastic rendition of the Alphabet Song in the playroom while the kids are sleeping and my husband and I are sitting down eating dinner in the kitchen. Which scares the ever loving shit out of us every single time.
And hee, hee. Ghostbusty. Love it.
Please tell J that I love him. His response about being familiar with this world because of Harry Potter just made me laugh so hard.
(Not that I'm laughing at your ghost situation, because SCARY. And I don't want to anger it.)
((And p.s. READ HARRY POTTER.))
Sam's crib aquarium goes off CONSTANTLY, even though a) it is no longer in the crib; and b) no one is in the room. Or even that part of the house. And I swear to you, I've turned it off.
Also, and this is the creepiest, in my opinion, but we have this ridiculous little doll that GIGGLES this evil little laugh when you squeeze it (rather hard, I might add) that, of course, Sam fucking LOVES. I hate it. Hate. Anyway, once in a while -- like every few days or so -- for no reason, I shit you not, we can hear laughing from the living room. LAUGHING. THE GODDAMN DOLL JUST STARTS LAUGHING. ON ITS OWN.
Honestly, Metalia, if you could see this creepfaced little doll, you would die as I do. AND IT LAUGHS. GARHGHT.
I am IN TEARS. Not from fear, but from laughing, OMG. At the Ghostbusty line: BRILLIANT. and also at J thinking that Harry Potter gives him knowledge of the ghost world. He is awesome.
Possibly related to your post: I would not want to spend the night in your apartment. *shiver*
No, no, no, not alone. We have more toys than I would like to admit that have souls, er the propensity to shout, "I love you," or "Hug me" or so Yo Gabba Gabba tune when I'm at my most vulnerable (read: engrossed in Tori and Dean.) We also have a ceiling fan/light that turns on and off, usually while we are sleeping. And if you think there's something more terrifying than waking up at 3am with lights blazing and the fan nearly whirring off of its track, you would be wrong.
Not sure how to explain the other strange things, but I've had wind-up toys and music boxes start for no apparent reason. My dad explained that it has to do with the springs from the winding mechanism having some latent energy building up enough to move over time. So perhaps that's one explanation for you?
Seriously it has to be something with those activity tables. No kidding, our precious 15 month old daughter was nestled in her crib in the other room when all of the sudden we hear what sounds like two adults talking. My husband and I both jump up and run to the back of our house. We peer into our daughter's room. SILENCE. We creep down the hall and coming from the guest room, the noises continue. When we opened the door, after 10 minutes of "no, you do it!", we found the activity table going bonkers! It had been in the room for at least a week! My husband quickly took the batteries out and closed the door! Yes there as been other things but this is way too long. Thanks for sharing your ghostly encounters!
You're FREAKING ME OUT.
And also have me humming the Ghostbusters song.
Dang it.
The Ghostbusty thing is genius!
We had a ghostly experience with our daughter at my husband's grandma's apartment. I was upstairs nursing Gabbie, when all of the sudden she pulled off, smiled at the corner, and waved. She went back to nursing, but then a few seconds later, pulled off, looked at the corner and laughed.
I then decided that she had nursed enough and hightailed it the heck out of there. I wouldn't have thought as much of it if I hadn't heard his grandma share ghostly experiences she'd had there before. Eek!
Ray...when someone asks you if you're a god, YOU SAY YES!
now you will be safe from Gozer and other such things that scare the crap out of me.
My parents house has a ghost - we are convinced of it. Same types of things happen and a lot of electrical problems. The thing is someone did die (of old age) in the house - so it kinda makes sense. I mean if you are into that kind of thing it does.
A few years ago I was staying at my parents' house while they were out of town. It was around midnight and I was laying in my bed upstairs reading with the dog curled on the edge of the bed. All of a sudden there was what sounded like someone banging on the door that goes from the house to the garage and banging above my head in the attic. The dog jumped higher than I've ever seen him do before and I accidentally threw my book across the room.
After laying there for a few minutes we went and investigated (with a yard stick as protection, the only thing I could find!) slowly through the entire house. But never found anything. I even went into the basement. I would have thought someone broke in if both banging sounds hadn't happened at the same time.
Reading the comments, I've determined that all small children contain demonic souls that are released into their toys. I'm assuming these demons eventually return to the children in the form of puberty.
I can't believe I'm actually about to admit this, but my aunt and her family were featured on Sightings (remember that show?) and on Sally Jesse Raphael for a haunting in their house.
To this day, my family remains divided on whether or not they were telling the truth or if they were just bat shit crazy. I tend to be on the side that says there was probably something ghostly going on, but when you add claims of ghost molestation (yes, I just said GHOST molestation), the credibility kind of flies out the window.
(Aaaaand there goes any readership I might have had!)
Toys scare the crap out of me. Every night I have to gather up my daughter's dolls and lock them in the playroom. I'm scared that I'll piss them off if I do it, but I can't have them running about the house gathering up weapons and such to KILL ME WITH while I'm sleeping. Toys are creepy.
I cannot stop laughing... but I sympathize, dude, I sympathize. We have the same occurences in our house, only it's generally with the LeapFrog drum (which is creepy sounding anyway) and this little "Baby Palm Pilot" thing she has with NO OFF SWITCH. It just... GIGGLES eerily at random.
I hate toys too. And now Maddie's getting into dolls, which frightens me to NO end.
Nope, not alone. Hubby and I have heard (and he's seen) lots of stuff over the years. I heard his voice one morning when he was out running errands. I searched the whole house, and there was no one there. So yes, ghosts, we haz them.
OH and the Harry Potter comment FTW! I totally share the Harry Potter love. ;)
Please let J start his own blog. Please?
Dude, J and Mr. A should totally be besties. They can bond over their mutual love of unnecessary verbiage and making ridiculous claims!
Yeah, this is legit stuff. My neighbor growing up had a ghost in their house. The cabinets would randomly open and close (like they would literally watch this happen) and one of the woman's adult children who grew up in that house and even claimed that she saw ghostly feet walking up the stairs.
Crazy stuff!
Ghostbusty = Brilliant
Sounds like a ghost to me. But if I was going to have a ghost, I think I'd like one that just wanted to play with toys OK. That's my kind of ghost, yo!
There's really only one question to be asked, here. Are YOU the gatekeeper?
Love the fact that Harry Potter = Ghost experience. Infiri for the win.
And I blogged my ghost experiences here: http://mrssoup.wordpress.com/2009/06/16/ghost-stories/
So yes, I believe in ghosts. Absolutely.
We have a Noah's ark riding toy that, awhile back, used to make elephant noises randomly, without anyone pushing the buttons. Usually while we were sitting in the den watching TV, and the kids were asleep. And it would make the elephant noises over and over again. Very scary.
My dad's (formerly my Grandma's) beach house is TOTALLY haunted. Once, a photo fell of the wall, and each piece of the frame was in a different part of the room. Totally impossible to happen randomly. Also, once in my grandma's room, she had some tapes (possibly of the BETAMAX variety, because this was ages ago) that were pushed up against the wall on her dresser and they ALL completely fell forward and on to the floor.
I, too, have read Harry Potter- does that make me an expert, too?
We had that activity table. I put it out on the curb. My hubby travels too much for me to deal with ghosts in the toys. I blame all other strange occurrences on the cat. I don't really like the cat, but if I get rid of her then I have to admit the house is haunted.
We get like that with those damn Melissa and Doug puzzles. they make noise at that STRANGEST time when no one is around. Other people have told me they have that problem too but dude, freaks me the eff out.
The book thing for you though? Can't think of a reason that doesn't involve needing to call The Ghost Whisperer. Ghosts scare the crap outta me.
Good luck. . .hope to hear from you again.
No personal ghost stories to tell (thank heaven, as I am a total scaredy-cat) but apparently everyone has decided it's time to share. Antonia shared a few great ones a few weeks ago: http://yetanotherbloomingblog.blogspot.com/2009/06/woooooooooo.html
Oh, and: Your husband = hilarious. You married your match, apparently.
1) I just went on a Haunted History tour in New Orleans of the Garden District and got to hear all sorts of ghost stories and haunted houses. (We also saw Archie Manning's house, also known as the house that Peyton and Eli grew up in, but that one isn't haunted.)
2) I was just talking with a co-worker about this and she once lived in a haunted townhouse that they ended up selling because it freaked them out too much. Like they heard someone in their bedroom on multiple occasions, pouring water on the carpet.
Kids' toys! A hotbed of haunting activity. Who knew?!
I would dearly love to see/prove the existence of a ghost. But despite my best efforts (sleeping in VERY haunted places on vacation, i.e. Hampton Court Palace, The Golden Fleece in York, etc.) I haven't seen much of anything.
If you ever catch that murderous clown ghost on your video monitor, I'll be very anxious to see the recording!
what did our ancestors do for ghost sightings before there were electronic toys?
When I was home one time on a winter break from college, I heard the downstairs garage door open & slam shut two full floors below me & then I heard the distinctive sound of kids running up the stairs. I assumed it was my younger siblings arriving home from school, and so I called out a hello. When I didn't hear anything, I went downstairs to see who had slammed the door & been running on the stairs - very common and distinctive noises in a bustling family home, right? So anyway, I head downstairs, and not only am I home alone, but the door that I definitively heard slam was dead-bolted shut...I am CONVINCED I heard all that, though...
"When you need some strange, in your neighborhood...who you gonna ball? Ghostbusty!"
I crack myself up. ;)
I have had kitten ghosts more than once. I hear random noises that can only be a naughty kitten, and then there's nothing there.
Indeed I believe. We owned a daycare at one time in a building where an old gym had been and there was a distinct smell in this one area of the 4 and 5 year olds classroom. I mentioned to my husband and others the characteristics of this ghost. I was only going by smell and was able to create a vision of what the ghost looked like only by his smell. I based it on the memories of my grandfather and that same smell.
Anyway, we dismantled the ghosts room and painted it. When we did that, he moved. And for months upon months I would smell him in various parts of the building. He was never in the same place twice and finally, he settled in a corner of the 4 and 5 year old's classroom. And, unfortunately, he was sleeping in the kids dress up clothes.
He would leave that room during the day and travel through the building but on the weekends or after everyone was gone, he was always back in the corner with the play clothes.
The hardest part of it all was the fact that the play clothes had to be washed so much more often because he had a really foul smell to him. Not just plain body odor for not bathing indefinitely but more a smell of a man who had worked all day in the garden and had just sat down on the porch before going inside late in the evening.
He had greasy slicked back hair and I suspect he was in his late 60's or early 70's. Everyone thought I was nuts until...........
he moved to the only adult bathroom in the building during the day. When I sold the daycare, he would go to the bathroom by day and the play clothes by night. IT was easy to convince him to leave the bathroom so I could be alone.
One of my employee's was a cousin who knew the smell I was referring to and when she finally smelled him in the bathroom, she too was amused. But, as I said, he would leave for a few minutes if you asked nicely.
I did learn that simply shewing him out with a nasty tone was not going over too well. You HAD to ask him nicely or ..he would simply stay right there with you.
He really appeared to be a nice man. The daycare is still in that building under a new owner and I can't help but wonder if he stayed in the building the 4 or 5 months it was empty or if sought another place to live.
No, I am not nuts....just sharing the tale of the ghost-man.
my niece had one of these small toy kitchens. one day the toy started making these really weird slow, deep noises that indicate that the batteries are dying. so we took the batteries OUT and the toy kitchen continued to make noises even with THE BATTERIES REMOVED. creepy.
we have a ghost too. It turns on our downstairs TV every once in awhile. The first time it happened it FREAKED THE SHIT out of our petsitter, because we were on vacation. She thought the house had been broken into (and that the robbers had watched TV). After that, we just assumed it was the cats somehow jumping up and turning it on... until it happened while I was in the next room, alone in the house, with all three cats sleeping within my sight. Now I know FOR SURE it's the ghost, which i always secretly suspected since we live in a 100-year-old house.
Okay, I have no ghost of my own...and I am skeptical about ghosts and paranormal stuff in general (I'll believe it when I see it, I guess). But, I do read another blog who has been experiencing a friendly haunting...
http://burrowhouse.typepad.com/ghostchronicles/2009/01/index.html
Maybe you guys can trade notes?
-Mandy
Not sure what's funnier - Ghostbusty as an adjective or familiarity with the ghosties through Harry Potter! But seriously, I blame batteries. I was up late one night (playing a Trivia contest, there was a good reason) and one of my son's remote control cars began running across the floor. I couldn't find the remote, so I removed the battery. But meanwhile, I was answering triva questions about a rather creepy movie, and my sleep was disturbed for a week!
I'm behind in my reading but wanted to comment on this one. We lost my late husband in 2003. I honestly think he hides things from me, giggles as I look for them, then puts them right out in the open.
I can't remember what the object was, but it wasn't in the place I always keep it. I looked & looked elsewhere. Later I went to the living room & found it in my seat. It was large enough that there is no way I could have been sitting on it without noticing.
He was a computer programmer. I also suspect him when one of our computers acts up,then when my current husband goes to fix it, there is no problem at all.
Ame in TN
OK, that freaked me RIGHT THE HELL OUT. What's worse is, you haven't moved recently, right? I would assume that if you have a ghost, it is there from the start, not that it would just show up when you're all settled in and la-la-la-everything's-fine-here!
I'm glad you have your wits about you. I can't say I'd be as calm! But you're right: if there is a ghost, it seems to be one who just wants to play, so no harm in that, I hope.
Have you tried taking the batteries out of these toys when your kids aren't playing with them? On second thought, don't. I don't think I want to know if the toys still work sans batteries... Yikes.
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