…Is not something I will ever be revealing here.
Sorry to be annoying. The real title of the post should be "In Defense of the Pseudonymous Blogger." I write it not so much for 99% of you here, but rather, the people who come here searching for my real name, hence the nice and Google-friendly title. If you do choose to read on, thank you, and I'll reward you soon with pictures of me attempting to get my hair to look like a wig. No no, you read that right-- it's exactly what it sounds like. A FAKE WIG. God help me.
Can I be frank with you guys for a second?
While I’m sort of—well, VERY—proud of the fact that my blog was at one point the top Google search result for “Twilight drinking game,” there are other searches through which people arrive here that just plain frighten/anger me…such as the ones for my real name.
I had six searches for that today alone. SIX.
This is becoming a problem.
I’m quite careful when it comes to revealing my name online. I have a great job that I absolutely love, which is precisely WHY I am so careful at retaining quasi-anonymity online. Because people? Take my word for it, my first, middle and last names are EACH really unusual, so taken together, I can be googled in a HEARTBEAT. Those of you who are friends with me offline (whether through real life means, or by way of this blog), however, know that I have no problem divulging my real name outside of the internet. Most of my real-life friends know about my blog, and most of my family reads it. In fact, watch:
(Dramatization)
Me [writing a post]: "And then I said 'FUUUUUUUUCK.' The End!" [Hits publish.]
Phone: *ring, ring *
My mom: Stop cursing! Now I can’t show your blogs [not posts, but “blogs”] to my friends!
(End dramatization)
The anonymity, you see, more than anything, is a career maneuver, just as the casual swearing is a tacit strategy to keep my mom’s friends at bay. I am a crafty little minx.
But as much as I’d like to think I have some sense of who reads my stuff, the reality is that I don’t. Like, at all. And knowing that, I write here straddling some really weird line of “man, I hope no one who googles [my real name] links it to this blog, but if they do somehow make the connection, I don’t think there’s anything particularly offensive here, with the exception of the incestuous cougar Olive Garden commercial, and that gross pervert’s balls, but I TOTALLY STAND BY THOSE POSTS.” Essentially, I write as if discovery is an inevitability, while simultaneously hoping that I’m wrong. The one thing I can control is the people with whom I share my real name. And so that's what I do.
I’ve read a number of statements elsewhere which essentially posit that bloggers who use pseudonyms online are…well, cowardly, and that full credence should not be granted to their writing and comments, as there isn’t a real person standing behind them, so to speak. And while I’d concede that point in instances where the person is hiding behind an anonymous name for the express purpose of acting like a flaming douchebag, I feel strongly that this broad brushstroke approach (i.e., “pseudonym=bad”) cannot be applied to ALL cases where bloggers choose anonymity. I’d like to think that you all don’t deduct “points” from my writing, simply because you don’t see my real name up there on the banner, but if you do, I have no choice but to shrug my shoulders, and keep doing what I have been doing. I've made a decision that I feel works for me, and with which I'm comfortable.
And so, if you came to this page searching for my real name, take a step back, and ask yourself –REALLY, ask yourself--why you’re looking for information I clearly intended to keep private. Then once you’ve done so, consider, say, emailing me, or something. Or asking me a question. That’s a good start to developing a relationship, one where you’ll likely learn my name over time. But please, stop looking for “Metalia real name,” or the real name of ANY blogger who has specifically chosen to keep it to his/herself. As I hope I’ve demonstrated, I do have my reasons, and while I’d love to be more open, my career and basic privacy (on account of my uncommon names) take precedence over the preferences of those who’d simply like to know my identity.
(I hope that isn't too harsh, and again, that wasn't directed towards the vast majority of you. But! If you did read it, I thank you once again, and welcome your thoughts and opinions on the matter.)
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86 comments:
I guess I knew that your name was not really your name, somewhere in the back of my mind. But when I read the opening of your post, I thought that Metalia was your real name. Really, who cares!
Rock on! Awesome post, even though you totally don't owe anyone an explanation. (Though, it makes me wonder, how many hits could I get if I just put "Metalia's real name is ... SHAME ON YOU FOR LOOKING FOR THAT!" somewhere on my blog?)
I agree completely (especially as a fellow pseudonymous blogger). Most people I know in person do read my blog and I have either met or told my real name to plenty of friends I met online. I just don't want my blog to be one of the results when I get googled, nor do I want my students reading it, you know? But then I get people leaving comments along the lines of "For all we know you could be a 40-year old MAN who DOESN'T teach college English!" Oh, the HORROR!
ANYWAY. I totally get where you're coming from here.
Um. I sort of thought Metalia was your real name (I guess I thought your parents were either hippies or just did a lot of drugs). And I might've called you that at BlogHer. Oops. I'm a moron. Sorry about that. (But you responded, which was nice of you.)
I was a little more paranoid about my privacy before I got married, since my maiden name is pretty rare, but there's like 50 bajillion people out there with my married name, so I don't worry about it so much anymore. Meh. To each their own.
Wow. I googled your real names, and didn't find a link to your blog at all. Good job staying pseudonymous!
I kinda wish now, knowing what I know, that I had attempted the same pseudonymity with my online presence, because my daughter and I both have rather uncommon names and they're both fully Google-able. Not that there's anything on my blog I don't want connected to me, but...you know, safety, etc. Oh well. :-)
I fully support your right to remain as anonymous as you like.
Huh. I, too, thought that Metalia was your real name. I don't know why keeping your real name private might bother people... maybe they're just reaaaallly nosy.
How do you find out what people are googling to find your blog?
Never mind. Figured it out.
As a new reader to your blog, I might have googled that phrase if I was curious to learn more about you, not being aware yet of the passion and vigor with which you defend your privacy.
You say, "It's becoming a problem." but why? I say it means that you're becoming popular and well read. That's a good thing, right? Most likely those are people who are trying to figure you out after bumping into you at Blogher, that now feel terrible -REALLY terrible-- that you've told them to "ask yourself –REALLY, ask yourself--why you’re looking for information I clearly intended to keep private."
I have no problem with Anon. bloggers AT ALL. Everyone has a different life situation and worldview, and if you and I were in a room together and someone came and gave you heck about it, I'd spring to your defense. But don't have a chip on your shoulder because SIX WHOLE PEOPLE tried to find out your real name today. It's par for the course.
Even though I do know your real name, I still always think of you as Metalia regardless! I used to be anonymous, and I totally get your reasoning for doing it--I really hate having to self-censor myself now knowing that my name can be Googled and my blog comes up.
Good post.
The most interesting/ funny thing about this post is the number of responses I've received here and via email saying "But I thought your name WAS Metalia!" So basically, I've drawn attention to something that I was trying to detract from. Haha.
I really appreciate your comments and insight on this topic. The whole point of the post is not to make people feel bad or guilty if they searched for my name one time. It's to give my personal rationale for choosing the pseudonymous approach that I did, and to give you a sense of my sentiments, about how it feels for me to see that people are looking for my real name. I did it with the hope that people who read the post will maybe think a little differently going forward.
To say that I have a "chip on my shoulder" about the topic, though? I don't know. I feel like that is akin to saying that anyone who supports ANY position, on ANY topic and (uh...I hope?) provides a clear and strong basis for their viewpoint has a chip on their shoulder. I used this opportunity to express the reasons why I'm anonymous, and as such, why it bothers me to see those Google searches. To say I'm making those who are curious feel bad is confusing, to me. For the record, the very first sentence of my "About" page had always said that Metalia is my middle name; point being, if someone was really that curious, the About page would be a good place to start.
And to the larger point made about the searches likely coming from people I met at BlogHer and them now feeling "REALLY bad"? I don't know about that. My real name is on my business card that I handed out there, and although I didn't have my real name on my badge, I *believe* I introduced myself to everyone as [Real Name], and only later in conversations did I mention my blog name, depending on if I could work it in without sounding douchey.
Finally, as for other sentence that was quoted back to me in a comment
("And so, if you came to this page searching for my real name, take a step back, and ask yourself –REALLY, ask yourself--why you’re looking for information I clearly intended to keep private."), well, I do stand by that. As I stated, the intention of the post was to make people think about the feelings of bloggers who remain anonymous.
To the extent I made ANYONE feel bad, though, I do sincerely apologize. Clearly, this is not generally a blog that tackles weighty topics, so clearly, for me to write about one, it had to be something weighing heavily on me. Once again, it wasn't my intent to hurt people's feelings, but rather, give them a glimpse into my own.
I couldn't decide whether to use my real name or not on my blog. I finally decided it didn't matter because my real name (Susie) is so run of the mill. I totally understand the professional need to keep your blog under a pseudonym - especially with a name like yours :)
Your blog has been a favorite of mine since the day I found it a year, two years ago. That didn't change when I read your about page and learned that Metalia wasn't your name. That won't be changing anytime soon.
Also? I tend to forget that it isn't your name.
wait? Metalia is not your real name?
I mean I did know that. But the first time I found that out, I was like huh?
I don't use my last name in blogging, and someone once posted it online, and it took threatening a lawsuit to get them to take it down.
so you are entitled to any privacy you want.
I'm a little bummed that Metalia isn't your real name because I thought it was awesome.
I mean, it's still awesome, as I'm sure your real name is.
I don't do the pseudonym for no other reason than it didn't really occur to me and now it's too late.
I think you should do what you're happy and comfortable with.
I learned your real name when we were introduced last weekend...and I don't even remember what it is. Nor do I care. I come here for the writing and it doesn't matter what you call yourself.
So, a few things:
a) I know your real name -- the whole thing -- and I will always think of you as Metalia anyway.
b) How hilarious is it that occasionally *I* get Google hits of people saying, "Jonniker Jonna Real Name." Uhhh, last time I checked, Jonna WAS my real name. I hope. Otherwise my social security card and identity are all fucked up.
You are awesome and entitled to whatever privacy and feelings about said privacy that you want!
One of my concerns about going to blogher is that I don't know real names of a lot of my favorite people!
Word. Sometimes, a pseudonym is just a simple way to keep your ass from getting fired.
(And I'm totally with you: write assuming it will be discovered one day, and all the while hope it won't.)
Amen. I blog anonymously because I'm a lawyer and the last thing I need is a juror or judge being able to read my drivel right before closing arguments.
For a long time, I just assumed Metalia was your real name. Then you mentioned (in your 100 things post, or something like that) that it wasn't your real name, but if I ever happened to meet you in person, I think I'd have a hard time calling you anything other than Metalia. That said, I just saw a photo of you from BlogHer this year and it did use what I assume is your actual name... maybe people are googling the phrase recently to confirm that was you if they saw the photo too?
I blog psuedoanonymously online for pretty much the same reasons as you, so I understand where you're coming from. I use my real first name, but I try to keep my last name private. Luckily for me, my name is actually very common and even if you did google my name, nothing about me shows up for a few pages. (Which says something about the poor marketing techniques of my work, I think.) Every once in a while I do a google search with my blog and my full name to confirm I can't be figured out, and to date nothing turns up. (Surprisingly.)
I don't blame you for keeping it private (and I too at one point just thought that 'Metalia' was your real name and was JEALOUS because it's so pretty and unique! This coming from one of a bajillion Jennifers in the world, ha)
I sometimes wish I hadn't started blogging back when it wasn't such a big deal (2000, gawd I've been blogging a loooong time) and sharing your real name online was fine because Google didn't really exist, and nobody knew or cared about blogs at all. Now that blogs are The Thing To Do, and now that I have a business online as well, it has become a delicate balance for me, because if a client knows my name, it would take them about 2.5 seconds to find my blog. WHOOPS!
Some people just can't leave well enough alone and have to dig because they need a HOBBY, apparently. ha
You know my thoughts on this. I think it's so ridiculous people think that you have to reveal EVERYTHING about yourself if you choose to write online.
I also write assuming that people I know can read my blog but hoping they don't. I like the way you wrote about it.
I agree with your post, but after reading Amber's comment, I see her point too. I don't know if saying you have a chip on your shoulder about it would be the right phrase, but you have to admit you are annoyed about it. And that's fine! I'd be annoyed if a lot of people were searching for my real name too.
My thoughts are redundant - I think of you as Metalia and do not otherwise care what your name is because I don't actually know you, and when I recommend your blog to someone it obviously has to have the name METALIA in it. But really I just wanted to say that I love your writing, whoever you are!
I agree with you entirely. I do the same thing with my blog for pretty much the same reasons you do...though I must admit that my pseudonym is not as well thought out as yours! ;)
So, I could really make a killing selling your real name online, huh? Interesting business proposition you've presented her, person whose name is not really Metalia. Very interesting indeed :-)
p.s. Some people have too much time on their hands if all they can think to do is search for bloggers' real names.
p.p.s. Awesome meeting you at BlogHer. You are as sweet and adorable as I expected and you made my day when you recognized me by my Twitter name.
Yeah, I have to agree that just because you use a pseudonym does NOT mean you are cowardly or a trash-writer! Like we were discussing at BlogHer, some people don't have the privilege of working in such creative/accepting environments where that is a possibility!
Hell, my office knows that I blog (I almost wore my "Born to Blog" tshirt to work today), but I keep it on the DL, as many of my clients are old-school corporate, and I don't need them all up in mah biznass. ;)
You'll always be Metalia to me, which I always thought was your real name and then when I found out otherwise I just disregarded the new name and still thought of you as Metalia.
I wish we had started our journey using some sort of pseudonym, it freaks me out a little bit that I can google both my kids names and immediately find pictures of each of them. Funny, but I am the only member of the family with any sort of anonymity online.
It's amazing to me that just because a person has a blog, strangers then feel they're entitled to know that person's real name or see their photo. Before I removed my email address from my blog, I used to occasionally get mail from people saying that they wished I would divulge more personal information about myself, usually followed by some borderline-creepy "compliment" along the lines of how my posts make their pants tight. Uh. Yeah. I'll get right on that, weirdo. In the meantime, why don't you go refresh my homepage, since you've only done it 60 times today.
I sympathize with you. I don't ever talk about the specifics of where I work for similar reasons and I'd be pretty annoyed to see repeated search results looking for clues. (I'm an editor for a national publication about shopping and I'm fine with sharing that. WHICH publication? Uh, the over my dead body one.)
I hope this real-name kerfluffle dies down soon.
Sometimes I'm jealous of quasi anonymous bloggers. I have two blogs, one of which is about food so it's OK that that's not anonymous. But the other one, that more journal-eee, there are just enough people out there who know me IRL that I can't write about certain things. And that bugs me sometimes. If I could go back to when blogging became "cool" in these parts and start over, I'd take your path.
Agreed. I like to keep my online stuff separate from my work stuff for no other reason than it's not their business!
I think you have EVERY write to protect your job and your family by maintaining your privacy - even if you choose to write on-line. Anything else is just ridiculous. Just because you have a blog doesn't mean that you have to make available every aspect of your life.
That being said, I've always loved the name Metalia and wondered where it came from...perhaps that it a post for another day?
I think there is nothing wrong with writing under a pseudonym.
I think that the question was asked in a panel at BlogHer about "does a pseudonym make the person writing it seem less real to you?" and most of the people were like "no." Because you share WHO you are. Who cares what you call yourself?
We get to know you and your family and get to get to know how awesome you are and you show photos, so I don't care if you call yourself Steve and neither should anyone else.
WHY does finding out your real name reveal more out about who you are than what they read here? I disagree with Amber that Googling to find out your real name was to get to know you better. Want to know Metalia better? Read her archives.
Folks, her real name is Horace.
Yeah, I know what you mean. My FIRST name is unusual to say the least, so here I use my middle name.
So it's me, but not completely. After all, a girl's gotta have SOME privacy, right?
Obviously, you have the right to reveal as much or as little of yourself as you want. I do appreciate it when people pick an actual name, though, rather than "X" or an animal or something, because I have a hard time visualizing actual people when they have cutesy nicknames. But that's just me.
One thing that might give you comfort: while I'm sure that most of the people googling that phrase are looking for more info about you, Metalia is uncommon enough and pretty sounding, so some people might be googling to figure out if it's a "real" name for baby-naming purposes. Just a thought.
Jobs/families/etc. are simply more important than keeping a blog or revealing what every reader is interested in knowing. If people can't get that, I'm shocked. Some people have jobs where blogging and social media is more readily acceptable. Some don't. Some have to be more careful with what they put out there to keep the peace at home, some don't. There's room enough (and understanding/respect enough) for everyone. At least there should be.
I was in an online contest and folks were googling me - and I had use my real name.
It felt *so* invasive and when they mentioned my son I was furious. How dare they!
So, in retaliation I let all my friends and family know and they rallied the troops. I won by a landslide.
It was indeed a sweet revenge.
So- I am totally ok with the anon thing. Pen names were so very common once upon a time. Why would folks question them know?
I'm raising my glass to you right now, can you see it? I also never plan to reveal my real name online, for basically the same reasons you stated--I'm ridiculously google-able and I like my job. I think it's a bit ridiculous to assume that anonymous writers' work is somehow less valid or honest. I'd be a LOT less honest if I knew my boss could easily find my blog :P
Unlike many of the others, I NEVER thought Metalia was your real name. I assumed it was a handle you just made up for yourself - an alter-ego. I think I thought this because it sounds like a TOTALLY KICK-ASS SUPERHERO NAME to me. So now I'm just all, "Metalia is her REAL middle name? That is SO EFFING COOL!"
But I ALSO didn't know you were anonymous - never dawned on me to look for your actual name. (Why? When Metalia is so freaking cool?) I'm sure others didn't realize this as well and were simply curious. (So you DO sound a WEE BIT like you have a chip on your shoulder in your post, but you clearly didn't indend that.)
Just a few random thoughts:
1) Maybe the people who google that haven't been reading your blog long enough to realize that you are keeping your name private on purpose. Plenty of bloggers go by pseudonyms and then don't really hide their real name - sometimes it's more of a catchy name they go by instead of really hiding their name.
2)Some may just be wondering if Metalia is your real name, and not looking to bust you out of anonymity. I would think anyone who is looking for your real name and knows you are anonymous wouldn't click through to your actual blog - instead they would know that you keep it private and would be looking elsewhere for the info.. at least I would think? I am extremely... not sure of the word... naive? gullible? trusting? in that I take things at face value and always just thought your name was Metalia. Just last week before Blogher it occured to me that it might not be your actual name.
At Blogher I was at the table behind you when you sat down for the Saturday AM keynote (wanted to come up and say hi, but didn't want to interrupt conversations or be a weirdo!) and heard you introduce yourself as Metalia and I thought "Oh! That just must be her actual name!" and then didn't think anything of it.
And as for privacy, oh man, I do not blame you for keeping those things private. I wish I had done so, because then I could use my blog as a place to post truly honest things about me instead of the super safe "Hey Grandpa, totally not drinking in these pictures" content that I do now. I should have never given my Dad the blog addy, as he has the mouth of a 14 year old girl and basically told his entire congregation (he's a baptist minister) to "keep up with me" at x.blogspot.com. So annoying, and now I feel like I can't talk about squat on there.
Excellent post.
I will never EVER reveal my name for two reasons:
1. My future in-laws found the ver. 1.0 of my blog and completely freaked. Writing under the microscope sucked. Huge. It's not worth it to me to have an employer, acquaintance, etc. do the same.
2. Also, my writing sucks. I would never want to actually advertise that I write such drivel.
I'm so paranoid about blog stalkers that I've made my blog somewhat Google-proof. Which means that I have about 45 readers, but whatever.
Since you don't know who all your readers are, and you don't know me, I thought I'd de-lurk and introduce myself. Because lurking sounds stalkerish, and who wants that?
I'm Erin, and I use my real name. I don't really know why; I guess I never thought I'd have enough readers for it to matter too much. But now that I have more than a handful of readers, I wish I had chosen "Slender French Princess" as my pseudonym.
Weirdest google search that brought someone to my blog? I thought it was "beagle Harry Potter que es?" but I just checked and was startled and a bit disconcerted to find "Erin's butt cheeks" as a recent google search.
I am just surprised that there are so many people wanting to know a detail you've chosen to keep private. I'm not a blogger, but I totally understand the reasons why some bloggers (incl. you) don't want your real name splashed all over the interweb.
I'm on to you and Slynnro. I know you're really the same person and you use fake names to keep everyone confused. The jig is up Bertha!
I've been grappling with this issue a lot lately. My mom found my blog, which spurred an all-night streak of privatizing things. It's funny, because part of me is TERRIFIED of what she's thinking, and part of me is kind of shrugging it off and saying, "Well, I guess you finally know me a little bit better. So it goes."
Anyway, I realized that the reason I've kept my last name off the blog is because I didn't want her to find it, and now she has, so...
Yeah.
Granted, I also have a job that I categorically do NOT love, and I can completely understand you wanting anonymity for that purpose.
This comment is mostly me thinking out loud, sorry.
I can't imagine why people feel like they need to know your name in order to enjoy your blog. That's ridiculous.
The real question here is...when is "Ask a Jew" coming back? I enjoy your blog regardless of knowing your real name or not.
- Mon
I'll never post my real name on my blog, even though a bazillion people know it already anyways. For me, it would change the whole tone of the blog, and not that I could get fired for it, but I'd rather my coworkers & students don't read it- that would pretty much ruin it for me.
On a related note- lots of times, when I meet other bloggers/readers, they have a hard time calling me by anything other than "Whiskey" anyways. I've learned to answer to both. I am her, she is me.
;)
I totally thought Metalia was your real name for a long time too, which is extra funny in my case. More important, I need to tell you that I have a longtime obsession with real hair that looks like wigs and I intend to support you in that effort any way I can.
Umm, yeah. That's totally creepy. Sorry you're being harassed that way!
I think it's just because your name is Estherania Ficklegruber Plutzklonk, and you're embarrassed about it.
i think if i were to meet you, i'd just think of you as metalia anyway.
so yep! keep it on the DL and totally fine by me!
For the longest time, I just thought that I missed every post where you used your real name, and didn't want to seem like a not-paying-attention-moron, so I just never brought it up, lol. I was relieved the day that I found out I hadn't been as clueless as I'd feared, haha.
I've goggled my own (real) name before & it went straight to my company's website. And since I basically tell people "No, I'm not going to be able to give you any money" for a living - I don't want any google searches popping up my blog address!
My real name is *close* to my interwebz identity, but it's not real either.
If I made my living online I would be more inclined to use my true identity; but until I can pay my mortgage with a blog - I'll remain in Super Hero Hiding status! LOL
i've only recently started reading your blog, and it never occoured to me that Metalia wasn't your real name. Acutally it never occoured to me to CARE about your "Real name". i enjoy your writing, you make me laugh. that's enough for me. I say keep it private if you can...the less "they" know, the better!
I chose a pseudonym too because I didn't want potential employers to be able to google my name.
So Rock On, sistah!
I blog under the nickname that I was given my my mum at birth. while it's not my real name, it's unique enough.
I love this post! I try to keep my blog as private as possible mostly because I was not creative enough to come up with a cool alter ego. I too thought your name was Metalia! Oh well, I love your blog regardless. For all I care you could be Princess Consuela Banana Hammock, I would still read it! ;o)
As I am all new to this world of blogging... I have had my own reservations as to using my real name or not. I have a multitude of nicknames given to me over the years and really they all point back to me or to an aspect of me. I question if ppl are curious, as we seem to live in a world of overexposure of so-called information overload, reality tv, google, etc., or if ppl just NEED to KNOW everything for the sake of knowing more than the other guy and stroke the ego of their all-knowing selves. Hmm I wonder. I guess we are all anonymous to some point and we are all really public in other ways. I don't know the proper etiquette or rules but it seems, that in life, like fashion, there are rules out there but what makes or breaks your outfit is what your personality brings to the forefront. Originality is more intriquing and you have the right to display your own personality and really, to gain that genuineness you need to do what feels right for yourself.
REally some people need to lead and some people need to follow.
Wow what a bunch of Googly goog I just wrote...hope you can follow it.
P.S. Started out with a nick and now write with my full name...I guess I just see both sides of this.
For some reason, I thought Metalia was your middle name.
ok, *blush* I always thought that Metelia WAS your real name.... lol
also I'm totally coming to blogher10 and think I would probably be so excited to meet you that I wouldn't remember your real name even if you told it to me.
I made a comment at Blogher last week about this.
I dont use my real name on my blog, but most of the friends that I have made via my blog know my real name and sometimes comment using it.
No one IRL knows about my blog, except of course for my husband- and if they do know I have one, they have no idea what the name is.
I work for a media company and would rather remain anon.
I get why you are feeling the way you are. It's scary out there.
I just don't get why some people are so intent on learning the real names behind the pseudonyms. What's the point?
I've had the "anonymous bloggers are cowardly" discussion with someone lately. Well, it wasn't much of a discussion. I mean, I didn't really expect them to respond when I said, "STFU."
Huh. And here I though Metalia was your unique first name.
I understand wanting to stay anonymous; you've done a great job. I have an extremely common last name since I got married; my maiden name, which I use for work, is much more unique (particularly when paired with my first name). I certainly wouldn't want even my family to read what I write on the internet. Hence the generic e-mail account and single-name usage.
I know your real name (from an email you sent me) and I still call you Metalia in my head.
Now, the thing that MOST blew me away, was that you have a DAY JOB! Like, I always thought you did blogging/reviews/BlogHer stuff for realz. So THAT my friend is the thing that made me go "Huh! Well I'll be!"
And I'm the dumb ass that didn't go anon in the beginning because now I'm freaked about Workplace finding out. That's why my Twitter is on private which I HAAATE but I'd hate getting fired more.
I completely respect that. My anonymity stemmed in part from my husband's paranoia about the internet ("bloggers? of course they're all pervy guys typing from their mom's basement"), and partly because I would like to be free to complain about work and inlaws privately.
My blog LINKS to my Avon site which has my real name, but you will never actually find my real name on the website, nor will you find my blog name on my Avon site. I'm less worried about people knowing my real name than family and friends finding my blog. Weird.
I thought Metalia was your real first name just like I thought Slynnro was her real first name.
I think you hit all the salient points. Well said.
I would be embarrassed if my real name were sparklemcpookypants too.
Crap.
Whoops.
Sorry about outing you.
I could be wrong here because I don't have time to read all your responses and investigate. I think one of your blogger friends used your real name after BlogHer, so if you'vd had a great deal of people googling you, that could be the reason. I can't deal with this typle of nonsense, seems like middle school all over again.
You're preaching to the choir as far as I'm concerned!
It was great to meet you at BlogHer, I've been an admirer and apologize for calling you Metallica. IT HAD BEEN A LONG DAY - but I knew exactly who you were.
best,
bb
I blog anonymously, and I always will. Call me a coward, I don't care. I will NEVER give up my name, or my location, and I'm getting really good at lying about all of the above. Personal preference, that's all. So, yeah, I've got your back on this one.
Standing up and applauding you!
That was perfect.
Jobs are awesome, and wanting to keep yours by not posting your name anywhere online is 100% valid. Even if you didn't have a job you liked and wanted to keep, posting under a pseudonym is STILL 100% valid. (And I love the other comments that have said you don't owe anyone an explanation, either way. Because, hi, you totally don't.)
If I could have thought of Rad Fake Name I liked back when I first started my site, I probably would have used one. Using my name was just easier.
xoxo
I think I'm the only person here who has a hard time NOT calling you by your first name.
I guess it depends on the relationship?
For some reason I thought Metalia is your middle name! Otherwise, I've never even wondered what your real name is. I think you're wonderful regardless!
I don't post my last name anywhere on my blog and my husband's name is sacred. I don't think being pseudo-anonymous makes you a coward in the least.
In our case, I'm in school to be in the health care field and my husband is a pediatrician. I doubt any mother wants to google their pediatrician and read about the time he farted into a phone and then had to hold it up to his face (true, disturbing story).
Your name is yours to share. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for keeping it to yourself.
What I've always wanted to know is...
Meh-TAH-lia or Meh-TAY-lia?
(or something else entirely).
For the record, I was super bummed to discover your real name isn't Metalia. It would be a grand name to have.
Not like you need to know this, but I think of you as Metalia AND your real first name, even though I've never met you. But I do have a good friend whose little girl has the same first name as you, sorta, so it's a name that comes easily to mind for me. :-) I have quite a few blog friends who are, to me, both their real names AND their blog names simultaneously (OMSH/Heather, SAJ/Brenda, et al). It doesn't trouble me at all to have two names for a person, I guess. :-)
I am totally with you on this. I have an unusual first name and while I've told it to some readers/friends on line, I will NEVER attach it to my blog. That's just me trying to be safe and keep my bubble intact.
Wow...I didn't know that people may be trying to find out bloggers real names. (I just googled to see what I could find on myself...NOTHING! Phew.)
I don't think this post is too harsh. In fact, I LOVE how you worded it. When people I know IRL have found my blog I've always been annoyed that I have to ask (beg) them to keep it private. I mean, duh, there's a reason I don't use my real name. (Like you I have a VERY googleable real name which isn't so good.)
Love the post!
P.S. You are in my cell phone as "Metalia" and you always will be!
Why do people care? CONTENT, PEOPLE!!!!
My dear daughter, it is surprising how many people don't care that you curse on your posts. Just the other day one of my friends told me her daughter wanted to find your blog online. I of course said "Just caution your daughter that my daughter curses in her blog", to which the reply was "She's heard worse". Either society has sunk so low or you are just a great writer. You're my daughter, of course it's that you are a great writer.
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