We were recently IM'ing and in so doing, took a trip down memory lane, with a detour at "OMFG MY PARENTS ARE PUNISHING ME, WHYYYYY GOD?" Road. Join us, why don't you? We can't be the only ones who did stuff like this:
Yvonne: haha!!! we're chatting AND texting; it's like we're 15!
me: MOM STOP PICKING UP THE PHONE
Yvonne: HHAHAHHAHA. Do you know how many times I got busted from my mom picking up the phone and finding out stuff?
me: ME TOO!
Yvonne: that's how I got busted for smoking at a neighbor's house.
me: Hahahaaa
Yvonne: because I was telling my friend “when I go to Diane's we... you know... starts with an ‘s’.” And my mom was on the phone and I got BUUUSSTED.
me: *click * I HEAR YOU, MOM!!
Yvonne: I heard her hang up right after I said "not have SEX. SMOKE." And I felt like I couldn't breathe. Because I KNEW.
me: oh, lordy. that's the worst
Yvonne: totally
me: the moment b/w being found out and KNOWING you're gonna be punished. torture!
Yvonne: yes! I would turn white and sweat.
me: also: some nervous farting (just me?)
Yvonne: ahahdsah no, not just you
me: (whew!)
Yvonne: also trying to act REALLY SWEET AND NICE when you finally see your parents. Like "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I loooooooooooove youuuuuu."
me: "want me to cook dinnerrrrr?”
Yvonne: just kind of feeling them out, thinking maybe you won't be in trouble after all. "can I clean the house for you?"
me: haha. YES EXACTLY
Yvonne: "because I LOVE YOU"
me: "do you need a back rub? peeled grapes? someone to fan you with palm fronds?"
Yvonne: hahahahha. you totally know. And sometimes they'd let you go all day
me: oh, yes, for sure.
Yvonne: and you thought you had gotten away with it
me: the TORTURE
Yvonne: hah!!!!
me: I am cracking up remembering. and then I'd flounce off to my room and write in my journal. and possibly do a little poetry
Yvonne: hahahah. yes!!!
me: my poetry was the WORST EVER
Yvonne: I'd get on my knees and promise Jesus to NEVER DO IT AGAIN
me: oh! also! That reminds me…I forgot. I'd pray that they wouldn't punish me; if they were pulling that "dragging out the suspense" shit.
Yvonne: hahaa
me: "I'm sorry, God. Please don't let them punish me for hanging out with The Boys Who Smoke. I'll remember to say my blessings before meals."
Yvonne: I would totally do that!!
me: pray? or SAY you'd pray? oh god: also, I'd say things like this. I SWEAR: "Mom and Dad? I am like a RUBBER BAND. The harder you pull me in one direction, the harder I will FLY BACK THE OTHER WAY" (I swear, I said that)
Yvonne: ahhahahahlhaslkahahaha THAT'S THE BEST ONE EVER
me: like, who was I? A Real World character?
Yvonne: I was too scared of burning in hell, or, the "Rod" to say stuff like that. but oh my god, I can't stop laughing
me: A RUBBER BAND.
_300.jpg)
12 comments:
The rubber band thing is amazing. I clearly remember saying to my parents "I am trying to ACT like an ADULT so that you TREAT me like one," and being really pissed because they weren't complying. Only do you know what I was trying to get them to agree to? BUYING A TREADMILL FOR THE BASEMENT. And the way I "acted like an adult" was to draw up this whole Venn diagram or pie chart or flow chart or something about WHY THEY SHOULD BUY ME A TREADMILL. Like, seriously, there were pros and cons and everything for the purchasing of this treadmill (more pros than cons, obviously). THAT WAS ME BEING AN ADULT.
Holly. FIND THAT VENN DIAGRAM. Or flow chart. WHATEVER IT IS, FIND IT.
(Also? HAHAAAA!)
Holly-- that is The Best Story.
Metalia- I LOVE YOU.
I told my parents I was an adult trapped in a child's body.
They still laugh about it TO THIS DAY.
The embarrassment!
THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU GUYS.
Metalia, and all of the above.
I've been sitting here with my head in my hands, shaking from the silent laughter.
Chicago cannot happen fast enough.
I think my main complaint was that they weren't treating me like an adult so I wasn't going to act like one.
Oh, but the rubber band? Brilliant!
My initial bond with yvonne resulted from a strange word too. Someone sent her an email about how she was addicted to the lakers and kolbe. So our contact always revolves in some way around that misspelling of kobe.
Kolbe would've loved this post.
Y'all are funny. The rubber band comment is SO HILARIOUS. Seriously. The minute one of my kids comes up with something like that I will be choking back tears of laughter...
1) I wish we could post our IM conversation from the other night.
2) I wish I was as smart as you when I was a kid. I would just fling myself into the air and slam doors and cry LOUDLY. I was a champion whiner. And then be all stereotypical and yell "It's NOT FAIR!"
I was also a total square so I never did anything bad. The one time I went to a party, like in 5th grade, and we played a drinking game where I drank a droplet of Creme de Menthe (KLASSY), I came home and told my mom all about it.
I was SO not quick enough to give my parents that quality of drama. I mostly just gave them the silent treatment. heh.
I'm using that rubber band thing if my mom even asks me to pass the salt. I am 30, married and have a toddler but so help me GOD I will say it because I never did in high school!
AAAHAHAHA...nervous farting. Hilarity!
I tried never to talk back because my Mom was quick with the backhand stroke right to my sassy mouth. Ouch.
Post a Comment