Wait.
I didn't mean to make it seem like we're usually rending garments and hurling fine china at each other's heads over here, but it was just one of those amazing, heartwarming days where everyone behaves, you get to experience new places and things through your kids' eyes, and only one person has to pee in a plastic cup on the ride home. (Hint: The person in question is recently toilet trained, and was all, "Oh, I don't have to go! I am offended at the mere suggestion, Mother" mere MINUTES before we got stuck in horrific, bumper-to-bumper traffic for nearly two hours, with nary a patch of grass in sight to...christen. Awesome.)
We spent yesterday morning with good friends who recently moved out to Long Island, and as such, we haven't seen them as much as we'd like. Which sucks, since not only do we love them, but T and their daughter adore each other, and were thisclose when they lived here. We took the kids to Adventureland, a mini amusement park for kids.
DIGRESSION: J and I are two of the twelve people in the Western Hemisphere to have seen the *movie*, Adventureland, starring one Kristin Stewart. (One-sentence review of the movie: Great job evincing '80s look, sound, and mood, PISS-POOR JOB CASTING MISS ONE-NOTE MCGEE.) I love Twilight-related shit as much as the next person, but it's clear to me she is of the Hair Mussing School of Dramatic Emoting. I have my impression of her down to a science, and will often do it for J, completely unbidden. He is so lucky to be married to me. What's that? You want to see it? Well, okay. It's a four-tiered process, but one that can easily be mastered with a little practice and black eyeliner:
STEP 1: FIND INSPIRATION. AND EXCESSIVE BANGLES.
STEP 2: INCESSANTLY FUTZ WITH YOUR HAIR. APPEAR TO BE SLEEPY OR PISSED. MAYBE BOTH. LET THOSE BANGLES SHINE!
STEP 3: LOOK REALLY, REALLY HIGH.
STEP 4: PUT IT ALL TOGETHER!
And...SCENE. Now you, too, can perfect your Kristin Stewart impression in the comfort and privacy of your own home! Patent pending!
Where was I? Ah, yes. Adventureland. The kids had a great time, and we kicked things off with a trip on the carousel. I love how I try to project an air of casual nonchalance here, which is belied by my VISELIKE CLAW ARM. It seems I am fearful of an Unfortunate Merry-Go-Round Incident.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Adventureland. The kids had a great time, and we kicked things off with a trip on the carousel. I love how I try to project an air of casual nonchalance here, which is belied by my VISELIKE CLAW ARM. It seems I am fearful of an Unfortunate Merry-Go-Round Incident.
Lo was a tad overwhelmed by the lights and noises and therefore decided to engage in some baby yoga to find her zen. Or whatever it is that Yoga People say.
We then made our way over to the...car...carousel...bumper...thing? I'm clearly not well-versed in Carny Lingo. Anyway, point is, my boy made a beeline for the Ghostbusters truck. Considering the present haunted state of our home, I AM CERTAIN THIS CANNOT BE A COINCIDENCE. SAVE US, TOOPWEETS! YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE!
Our time at Adventureland over, we said goodbye to one set of friends, and then spent the afternoon at the beach house of (the parents of) some other good friends. Now, my kids have seen LAKE beaches before, but never the "real" beach. They were amazed. T ran around with our friends' son (one of his best buddies), watching fishermen, jumping in the water, and digging in the sand. It was so gratifying and sweet to watch him experiencing the ocean for the first time, and enjoying himself as much as he did. (I wish I could post the pictures of the boys playing together, but I forgot to ask our friends' permission. D'oh!)
Lo had a great time...eating sand. I took this shot, thinking it was all sweet and beachy, only to realize a split second into it that GOOD LORD, SHE WAS MUNCHING ON SAND.
I spent the next hour or so saying insightful things such as, "Why are you eating that sand?" and"Please, love, stop eating that sand." Then, of course, I started, like, trying to REASON with her, and use LOGIC, which, as we all know, are the joint specialties of the 13.5-month-old set. ("That sand is gross! There could be diseases in that sand! MY HEAVENS, DOES THE GRIT NOT DISGUST YOU?")
Of course, she did also find the time to perfect her "Donnie Wahlberg in NKOTB circa 1991" impression... (See? Our dramatic talents are genetic!)
Of course, she did also find the time to perfect her "Donnie Wahlberg in NKOTB circa 1991" impression... (See? Our dramatic talents are genetic!)
...and practice her walking. (Any month now...)
We finished the day off with a fantastic barbecue back at the beach house, and then set out for our trip back home.
All told, it was a perfect, PERFECT day.
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24 comments:
I was one of the twelve people who saw Adventureland, and I had pretty much the exact same opinion of it. Jesse Eisenberg was really good, though.
What IS it with babies and sand!?
Days like this remind us that life is enjoyable and fun!
Wishing you many more.
And kids with sand...apparently babies have more nerves on their tongue than in their hands and it is a texture thing, not an 'I'm hungry and must eat this...dust/dead insect/slime' thing :)
i went to adventureland instead of prom. in prom gear. It was the best time there ever since it really is a lame park. but it was 10 minutes from my house and cheap in 1988 so that's what we did
now THAT'S exactly how Kristen Stewart looked last night. you are a dead ringer, for sure.
I completely agree with your Adventureland review. I have to add one thing though. Horrible casting of "Mike Connell." I love me some Ryan Reynolds and after that movie he completely icked me out for at least a week. That was an entire week where I could not bring myself to TRY and dream hot dreams of him. I wasted an entire WEEK! Very sad.
You should take that impersonation on the road, yo.
That is a perfect impersonation! Man, I do not like her one bit.
Could you and your kids be any more adorable? Um, NO!
I love it - it's like K-Stew starring in an American Apparel ad. All you need are some mango-esque hot pants or something!
I'm not a Twilight fan, but I must say that I'm equally annoyed by her presence everywhere in the media. Your impression is exactly what I expected her to be. Also, it took me a long time to figure out the bangles were drawn in (and here I was impressed with your ability to keep those black rubber bangles from the 80s). Glad you had a fun day!
I feel like you are in my head right now because just yesterday I was thinking to myself, "Self, Metalia could totally dress as Kristen Stewart for Halloween, and how hilarious would that be?" And then I forgot! to tell you, because my brain, it has been The Mush as of late, and this? IS PERFECT. I mean, really, how can a person be equal parts angsty and exasperated, ALL THE TIME?
We should start a new site of angsty Kristin Stewart impressions.
And judge them.
Followed by sand cocktails.
And carnie rides.
Okay, I have to confess...I loved Adventureland...and I...I kinda love Kristen Stewart. WHAT? Don't judge me! I blame Panic Room!
That being said, your impression is dead on and hilarious. And I agree with Kerri Anne, it would be an awesome Halloween costume.
Now that my shame face is showing I'm going to go hide...
I'm with justshireen -- I really liked Adventureland, and I think K-Stew is a good actress in the right roles. I thought she was very good in Into the Wild and The Cake Eaters. Still, she looks sooooo pissed/high all the time when she's out and about, which I agree is annoying. Girl makes out with Robert Pattinson for a living; what could she possibly have to complain about?
I have nothing witty to add, but am once again in awe of how absolutely beautiful those kids of your are.
(They look like you, so I'm not surpirised, per se - just think they're adorable.)
xo
I liked Kristen Stewart in Adventureland. I also loved the movie, but thought she was a good addition to the cast.
your kids are freakin adorable!! those pigtails are just too cute for words - as is the baby zen pose!
love seeing little kids experience things for the first time - it's so cool to see that light of understanding/recognition come across their faces.
cuuuuute kiddos.
Lo isn't the only one who likes to eat sand. Mind you, I'm not one of the "sand is my favorite snack" club members, but both my daughters had a phase during the baby/toddler years, when they ate lots of sand when we were at the beach. Which, considering I was born on an island and every summer we go there on vacation, was... a lot of sand.
It sounds like a really fun day! Love the Kristin Stewart impression :-)
hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....
I'm a little Twilight crazy...but very unhappy with Stewart cast in the role. So I am laughing out loud right now because you are so right on! There was something about her that really bugged me! And you totally nailed it. I did like her in Into the Wild though, but I didn't know it was her at the time and I think that movie is just too awesome for her to screw it up anyway. Love the beach pics and love to read your blog. The pics of my tot on the beach are ones I love the best too.
I totally saw Adventureland and you're right on with your Kristen Stewart impression. She doesn't reek of talent. At all. I don't know that I'm going to make it through all four Twilight movies without developing an irritated twitch at her inability to act.
My oldest ate so much sand his first trip to the beach I'm surprised I'm not still finding it in his underwear.
p.s. My youngest didn't walk until he was almost 18 months old. Saved himself from physical therapy in the nick of time, little bugger. Hang in there, she'll get it.
Seriously, could your children be any more adorable? Maybe they could, but I don't think I could stand it. As a side note, if it's OK to go cross-platform here, those pictures on Facebook of T, on his "date"? My word! Cutest thing I've seen all week. I mean, the little girl's name, along with her little Betty bangs are cute enough, but she and Toops together? Priceless.
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