You guys, you should know one thing about me, which is that I have always loved dressing up, and look for any excuse to do so. Alas, there are really very few opportunities for me to do so on a day-to-day basis. (Which: WHY NOT, LIFE?) And so, when Torrie essentially gave me the excuse, I told her that it. was. on.
The thing is, I feel like everything that could be snarked on about the dresses and the show in general has already been snarked on by this point, so instead, I decided to do a pop quiz of Oscar fashions.
* * * * *
Before we get to that, allow me to share with you a related IM conversation J and I had today:
Me: Do you have, like, a fake Oscar lying around your office? I need it for...something.
J: No, and--oh god, what are you up to? Are you doing another rap sequence that I have to photograph?
Me: No! This is totally different. It's Oscars impressions.
J: Right, so exactly the same then.
Me: Well, this is worse, because it involves costume changes. I just want to manage your expectations up front.
J: [redacted]
Me: Now that that's settled, are you opposed to me wasting stale challah rolls? I need them for a few of my impressions. I know we hate wasting food, but no one's eating them now. We should basically grind 'em up for tuppence a bag at this point. HAAHAAAA. Wait. I hate Mary Poppins.
J: ...I just want you to read that back to yourself. I'll take the pictures, but seriously.
* * * * *
ANYway, here we are now. Identify who I am from the cavalcade of worst-dressed Academy Awards-bound celebrities in the following five shots!
Annnnd, go!
_300.jpg)
104 comments:
you are too much! charlize, miley, vera, sjp, and the kanye moment woman.
I could not love you more. You know what would vastly improve my life? If you just did posts like this every day. NO PRESSURE.
I would have guessed Kristin Stewart for the second one, but I otherwise agree with Beyond. AWESOME.
Also, way to go, J, for taking the pictures! I bet he complains about it but secretly loves it.
HANDS DOWN the best Oscar recap/quiz I've read yet.
I totally want to be the zombie like Kanye-impersonating chick for Halloween this year. Or at least at the next family get-together.
I LOVE this.
Charlize (worst placement of rolls ever) :-)
Miley
No clue
SJP
and someone ;-) xoxo
Can't write because I'm laughing too hard. ESPECIALLY at the crazy Kanye lady at the end. OH DEAR LORD! SO FANTASTIC!
Oh. My. Gawd. That last photo made me spit on my keys.
This is priceless and a pretty awesome reason to waste challah rolls.
holy shit that was awesome! also, sjp, you nailed that!!
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU {the laugh did me well}
You are beyond brilliant! If I had a closet full of amazing things I would love to do something like this. Now I want to know who your favorites were.
HILARIOUS!! You crack me up!!
where do you come up with this stuff? Brilliant really. Simply brilliant. I would like to present this fake award to you...
While they were all great (and instantly recognizable) I think that the Miley impersonation made me laugh the hardest.
You are so amazingly hilarious!!!
That may be the most awesomest recap I've ever seen.
2010 Best Actress Nominee!
You. Are. Brilliant. Best correspondent ever!
Is that aluminum foil on the SJP dress? You are brilliant.
Oh hai, CRAZY PURPLE PEOPLE EATER. You have captured her essence brilliantly, I think.
And honestly? Your tinfoil version of SJP's dress is better than her actual! dress.
Well played, friend. Well played.
You deserve a Razzie for Awesome
I just want to know what stylist told Charlize that the reach-around dress was a good idea??
I love you. That is all.
This is incredible. Particularly because Vera and SJP's fake dresses look dead on. Well-played.
OMG, you are hysterical! And totally spot-on with your impressions. I got them all!
I think I love you. These are seriously awesome!
Absolute perfection.
I just love that you used an actual bread product.
Will you marry me?
That was BEYOND awesome. LOL
This is absolutely priceless. Best Oscar recap ever. You are awesome.
This was the bestest thing I have ever seen on the innernet. Truly. HEEE!!!
Oh. My. Word. The challah rolls? Yes. Charlize, what were you thinking?!
:D
That was hysterical!!!
This is hysterically funny wrapped in super awesome. OMG I almost spit up on my lappy
God, I love you.
You are funny! Thanks for the laugh!
Excellent.
Holy awesomeness batman! I am awash in tears of hysterics. Thatisall.
So funny! Charlize Theron, Miley Cyrus, Vera Farmiga, SJP, and the crazy lady.
You are the most fun ever. Oh man.
i am still trying to figure out how any stylist could think challah boobs would be a good idea. maybe poppy seed rolls...oh wait, that's sjp...
I'm still upset that you hate Mary Poppins, but GOOD GOD, this is an amazing post. I laughed so hard at Charlize.
Your talents are being wasted on the internet. You need an even bigger platform.
DUDE. YOUR SJP IS DEAD FUCKING ON.
Oh my good lord, you are too funny.
Best thing on the internet. THE END!
BAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!
Oh, this is SPECIAL.
Have my babies?
Awesome. So did you get the money?
I have to come out from lurking to say this might be the best thing I've seen. EVER.
You get one thousand billion points. Amazing. Just absolutely, incredibly, amazing.
I was going to yell at you for getting that damn Mary Poppins song in my head, but then I saw the SJP dress, and you probably could have been punching gerbils at that point and I'd still find you JUST DARLING.
Holy crap! That was amazing. Seriously I can't believe how well you got them all. And no joke your version of SJPs dress is way better! This was such a good way to start my day - cracking up!
Unbelievable. Really freakin awesome. Dead on, every one of them.
Please please do stand up.
Awesome and Brilliant.
I love this and I love you. You don't even UNDERSTAND how fabulous this is.
AHAHAHAHAHAH this is amazing! You made me laugh out loud! And yes, what the heck was UP with Miley Cyrus' terrible posture?!? (and terrible acting, and terrible voice, and I could go on and on)
I can't stop laughing - your post was hilarious & you nailed the impersonations!
This is the most rocktastic thing I've seen in a while!! Excuse me while I snort laugh some more! How in the world did you make the SJP dress, that was dead on! Please tell J he has to keep helping you do these posts because they honestly bring joy to so many people.
I love you.
That is all.
You win at the Internet. I want to hang that last one on my wall. AHAHAHAHA.
Your Miley could NOT have been better. BRAVO!!!
OMG, you are so fantastic! You definitely win the internet! THIS IS AWESOME! Your Miley and SJP are just AWESOME! THEY ALL ARE!
Also, my verification word was SPEIDI! I KID YOU NOT!
I want to marry you.
Best blog post I've ever read in my whole life. Hands down.
The SJP dress is ingenious.
Tears...there are no words to describe how awesome this is.
Conversations like that are the reason IM was invented, I'm convinced.
Stale rolls have never been better used, honestly. Brilliant.
Love, Fisher
Oh. My. God.
You are awesome.
Hilarious!!!
I didn't even watch the oscars and yet after googling all of beyonds answers in the very first comment I must say you are beyond spot on.
OMG OMG.
You totally make my work day bearable. that is all.
Dude. I love you.
OMG!! I LOVE your dress-ups! Absolutely on-point, every single one! Go you!
Big big love. You win the Internet AND all of the Oscars!
Funniest Oscar post ev-ah! All my coworkers are laughing their arses off right now. Especially at that last one.
haha awesome.
Oh. MAH. GAH/ I have tears in my eyes from laughing at the last one. I started giggling with Miley and then full on LOST IT with the Kanye-like rogue producer moment impression. Holy shit. Dying.
Ohhhhhhhhh you are too much. That was the best.
Steph
Can I just say? You are so full of awesome, I can't even stand it!!
Everyone guessed them already, so i won't even bother. But I think you could have doubled up on the challah on your head and still not reached the level of enormity SJP's bun did on Sunday. What? Was up with that?
This makes me wish that we were neighbors (more than I usually do. Because I have ALWAYS wished we were neighbors. AND LESS!)
HAHA I love you!
That rocks on so many levels.
My loss for not being able to identify all the stars represented. (Maybe that's a win actually) Doesn't diminish the humor one time bit however.
You rock!
You deserve an Oscar for this post. LOVE it!
This is the most awesome thing EVER.
My husband would never cooperate with something like this.
That SJP dress looks JUST LIKE IT! How'd you do that? Tin foil?
I second Torrie...I could not love you more. I've laughed at these all day! Thanks!
Leslie
Like I needed yet one more reason to love you.
You are one of the funniest people ON THE PLANET.
You nailed it!
Oh wow, that was awesome.
That's awesome.
Wow, I didn't know blog love at first sight could happen.
I came here from a Twitter post claiming that you won the internet, and it was true.
Best thing I've seen all week and the WEEK IS NOT EVEN OVER.
I think I'm in love with you.
haha this is AMAZING. i love it and i knew every single impersonation, classic.
Don't know, but this makes Bossy want to go back and take a closer look and that says A LOT!
Your SJP was more SJP than she was. Oh, with the tin foil. And the rose/challah boobs.
I laughed, I cried, it was better than cats.
Love it! You should definitely make this an annual Oscar feature. Maybe next time you could take it a step further and actually get a (Photoshopped) spray tan. ;o)
ahahahah. this is AWESOME. i especially loved your IM convo.
Awesome. Simply awesome.
The only thing that would have made this better would have been skin of lovely, oompa-loompa orange. But really, the post is perfection.
Hahahahahaha.
HA!
Loved them all, but really got the Charlize pose down.
You are the awesome.
this is amazing
OK, that's pretty brilliant.
OMG. This is brilliant.
I just about peed my pants. Thank god for mighty bladder control.
Oh my god, this is absolutely priceless! I especially love the Sarah Jessica Parker impression. The only one I missed was Miley (assuming Beyond) got them right.
oh, I don't have word to say, I think brilliant not enough.
Post a Comment