Customer Service Agent: Hello! Can I help you?
Me: Yes, I'm trying to figure out [blah].
CSA: Well, what you have to do is...
Me: [thinking] Oh my god! She sounds exactly like Kermit the Frog! Exactly!
Well, a lady Kermit.
Basically, if Kermit and Miss Piggy ever had a pigfrog baby, and it was a girl, and that pigfrog girl grew up and worked in customer service, she would sound like this.
Does her FAMILY realize this?
If so, do they talk openly about it?
Maybe they're more sly. Maybe they just ask her how she feels about being green, and whatnot. And then try to pass it off as environmental consciousness if she gets suspicious about their snickering.
Wait. Why DIDN'T Miss Piggy and Kermit ever have babies? Is it that Society Is Not Ready for pigfrogs?
We are so narrow-minded. For shame, Society! Embrace the pigfrog! EMBRACE THE PIGFROG.
I want to hear her sing now. How can I get her--
CSA: So, that's what you need to do. Anything else I can help you with today?
Me: Oh, uh...no?
CSA: Okay, then! Have a nice day! *click*
Me: Son of a bitch. PIGFROGGGGGGG!
(Per Avitable's suggestion, I've included an illustration of what I imagine the pigfrog would look like.)
* * * * * *
In the event you wish to see my rant on camping, which includes, but is not limited to, a boy named Smelly Ralph, a bear, stray prosthetic limbs, and a shot of me in Mom Jeans, by all means, read my post at Aiming Low.
If you'd like some tips and color suggestions for the perfect red lipstick, I'm offering up the results of my EXHAUSTIVE search at BlogHer Style.
_300.jpg)
10 comments:
This sounds like something I would do! I wish I could hear her voice.
This is one of those posts that could have benefited from your artist's depiction of what said pigfrog would look like. I'm intrigued.
I'm going to see a Ven Diagram about this.
So, I get distracted by people's appearance (lazy eye, mole, etc. I KNOW I AM GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL IN HANDBASKET ON A ROCKET SHIP) and cannot for the life of me concentrate. Oooh, and also weird laughs. They throw me.
In short, I love this.
I love how the pigfrog is all lounging (TGIF-style), and rocking some red lipstick.
Oh my word. I am the SAME, whether it be a person or an automated system. My mind wanders and then I hear the, "You did not enter a valid selection" prompt and I have to go back to the main menu.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
In a Muppet Christmas Carol, Miss Piggy and Kermit did have babies. Although they were playing the Cratchets but still pigfrog babies. They didn't look as great as your illustration though. The girls were pigs and the boys were frogs.
A day later, pigfrog is still cracking me up.
I do these kinds of things on conference calls for work. And I'll be in the middle of spacing out about something random and they'll be all "Kristin, you can handle that right?"
And then I have to ask a bunch of questions like George on the Seinfeld project because I can't just tell them I wasn't listening!
Just came across your blog today, and I LOLed so hard at this post. At work. Yeah.
Well done!
Post a Comment