And let's not forget the Siren-like allure of the lampshades. O, lampshades! What tales you must tell! Surely the only way to hear them is by frequently ripping you down! Tell us, lampshades! Tell us your secrets!
Lo, you see, has destroyed her second one in as many weeks, and at this point, I suppose it's shame on us, or whatever. Rather than getting truly upset, I decided to (a) rearrange the furniture a bit so it doesn't happen again; (b) start perusing sundry lampshade purveyors' wares; and (c) work through my feelings by focusing on the bright side, which is...
FIVE THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR RECENTLY-DESTROYED LAMPSHADE
1. Act out key scenes from Good Morning Vietnam. Hey, baby! What's happening? Let's groove!*
2. The obvious.
4. Beatific, glowing, kinda cruciform halo!
5. Kentucky Derby attendee!
Lemonade from lemons, people. Lemonade from lemons.
Thank you for the quote, Ali Martell!
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32 comments:
but Metalina...where is your BIKE?
hahahahah.Yes, I realize this is only funny to me.
Where is your mint julep ?!
I just thought of something. If you're really Metalia or Metallica or Metalmucil, you're completely recyclable.
I am kind of in love with you.
I love that you just referenced Secretariat! I've noticed most in "our generation" have no clue who he is...My old boss was ALWAYS asking who our generation's go-to horse was and I was always like, Umm, we don't have one, duh! Ultimately, he ingrained in me that it's Secretariat, so I love that you know that!
haha!! love it!
Don't think I didn't notice the red lips m'lady.
And you're a far better mother than I, for I would be throwing an epic FIT if ours were destroyed. No lemonade up in here that's for damn sure.
Hahaha.
The CONE OF SHAME.
while I feel for you and your lampshades, i have to say thanks so much for posting this. such a good laugh after a long day.
I wonder what percent of your readers do not get the second photo.
The cruciform halo is so Lady GaGa. Love it! Who knew you could do so much with a lamp shade.
Uh, I'd have totally worn that to the Derby.
Frighteningly, that probably could pass as a Derby hat.
Could you be any more awesome? The answer is no.
Oh, hanks for my first morning laugh! That is priceless. Once again, I wonder how you get your husband to take those pictures! :)
This is amazingly awesome. Lemonade out of lemons indeed!
Haha! The Kentucky Derby hat was my favorite!
This right here? Is why I will read your blog forevah!!! Hilarious!!
Ha! I'm not sure which I like best though. Right now it is a tie between the K-Derb hat and the doggie cone-head!
LOVE the Kentucky Derby hat!!
laughing! hard! thank you!
This post = AWESOME.
You totally just made my boring tuna fish sandwich lunch way more interesting. :)
"focusing on the bright side..."
HAAA.
(See also: it really doesn't take much to amuse me.)
You really are the best. Love.
i say Kentucky Derby Hat because you never know when you are going to attend at the last minute.
and.... have i ever mentioned that girls are the worst destroyers of your shit? let me be the last to say, hide your wares, sister.....because they are no longer yours once they get ahold of them. i am currently walking around in a muu-muu without makeup because my kids stole my bras and make-up collection.
Nice! And don't forget wearing it around your waist as a semi-tutu. It does fit around your waist, right?
Once the girls started pulling themselves up, we removed the lamps from our living room... and just about everything else. Our living room now is a bare oasis with nothing but a table and couches.
BTW this post is hyterical (even though you are no longer on the important blogger list)
Oh Metalina, I'm so glad that I am friends with you.
WELL DONE!
Hee! I almost died laughing. Thanks, I needed that today.
This is a NYC question (sorry I couldn't remember what post to put this comment on).
Thinking of going to a broadway show this summer when I am in NYC for blogher. Any suggestions?? Also, is it realistic to think I can arrive at Newark Airport at 5pm, and be at my hotel (the Hilton) for 6pm?
i love that i laugh pretty much every time i visit you. thanks :-)
Only you can wear a lampshade and somehow look more awesome.
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