And let's not forget the Siren-like allure of the lampshades. O, lampshades! What tales you must tell! Surely the only way to hear them is by frequently ripping you down! Tell us, lampshades! Tell us your secrets!
Lo, you see, has destroyed her second one in as many weeks, and at this point, I suppose it's shame on us, or whatever. Rather than getting truly upset, I decided to (a) rearrange the furniture a bit so it doesn't happen again; (b) start perusing sundry lampshade purveyors' wares; and (c) work through my feelings by focusing on the bright side, which is...
FIVE THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR RECENTLY-DESTROYED LAMPSHADE
1. Act out key scenes from Good Morning Vietnam. Hey, baby! What's happening? Let's groove!*
2. The obvious.
3. Elizabethan collar!
4. Beatific, glowing, kinda cruciform halo!
5. Kentucky Derby attendee!
Lemonade from lemons, people. Lemonade from lemons.
Thank you for the quote, Ali Martell!