Yes, yes, long absence, life = busy, blah di blah, no one cares.
FIRST OF ALL: Whoa, was I wrong about the deodorant thing. Apparently many of you love the advanced solid, which, although it -- to me -- appears to be crafted of lies, apparently is amazing! Live and learn, I suppose.
Moving along to other topics about which I clearly know nothing, what age is too old to still have your child in a crib?
I ask, because, well, some decisions in life get made for you. (I'm not pregnant! Hear me out here:) Like, say, if you decide to have two children literally two years apart, your older child is going to have to transfer from a crib to a bed fairly quickly, so the baby has a place to sleep. And you'll be lucky, in that he comes to this decision on his own, and with minimal fuss, but still--point is, you didn't really need to THINK about it, you know?
Then there are the other types of decisions, the ones where you get reality slapped into you, and you have to really start weighing things, and making lists of pros and cons. Like, say, if you happen to caaaaaasually mention in conversation with a relative that the "baby" -- your daughter, now two-and-a-half -- is still sleeping in a crib, and you get a HORRIFIED, BOSCH-PAINTING-LIKE TWISTED LOOK OF HORROR in return.
I had not really seen this as a big deal. Apparently it..is?
The thing is, Lo is...spirited. She reminds me a lot of my brother Goose, when he was little. Goose, who was known around our neighborhood as "Trouble," or alternately, "that perpetually naked child riding around on the Big Wheel." (As you can imagine, he loves being reminded of this.) She's a kid who gets syrup in her hair seven seconds after it's washed, then proceeds to remove her pants and do somersaults in the dining room whilst holding a princess doll. I am not making any of this up. See?
Me: J, am I making any part of that sentence up?
J: You forgot the part where she's singing The Backyardigans theme song while she's doing the somersaults.
Me: Right.
So, yeah. Add the singing to that, and you get a general idea of things. We're...skittish, and that's putting it charitably. I think our hesitance may in part be due to our experience with giving her a bed trial period this summer on vacation, or as I refer to it, "the week we all got woken up at basically 4 AM every day -- FOR THE DAY -- by the Rooster Child and sort of wanted to die, or at the very least, mainline espresso." Coupled with that, she likes sleeping in a crib. Whenever we return from weekends away, you can almost SEE the look of relief on her wee face as she swan dives into it.
So, what to do? On one hand, I know she's HAPPY in the crib, and we're happy not getting woken up when farmhands do, but on the other hand, I don't want to turn around and find myself the unwitting star of some freak-ass TLC Show called, like, Crib Moms or something, where moms...keep their teens in cribs. While hoarding coupons. Or something.
When did you move your kid(s) to a bed? Any and all advice is welcome!
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50 comments:
I do not have kids, so obviously have not ever dealt with this and so am not sure what my advice is worth, but I don't see any problem with keeping her in a crib as long as she is fine staying in there and it is safe. I'm sure the time will eventually come when she learns how to get out of the crib or she decides she wants a bed, but until then, enjoy your sleep!
My son was 2 1/2 when we moved him. We are in the process of moving my daughter now, at 23 months due to baby #3 coming along in about a month (um, whoops). I don't think it is all that unusual to wait until 3, if the crib is where she is sleeping best. No need to rush it.
You can take my assvice with a grain of salt, because I use and love my advanced solid deodorant.
But seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. We ended up moving my twins into toddler beds around 2 1/2 only because they were getting too long to fit in the pack & plays we used during our frequent travels. There are scores of moms in my circle of fellow twin moms who kept their kids in cribs past age 3, even up to 4 years old. And all the kids are well adjusted with parents who got to sleep later than 4am. So I vote for doing whatever's best for your family. Best of luck!
Annalie's sleeping arrangements were all over the map in her baby- and toddlerhood. She slept in a bassinet or her carseat till she was a month old, and then with us (because that was how we all go the most sleep!) till she was 9 months. Then we got an Amby bed (a sort of hammock) and that was AWESOME till she could climb out of it. We switched her to a crib around 15 months, and she stayed in that till she was three, when we got her a toddler bed. After a week of her sleeping in that poorly, she cried and asked for her crib back. She slept happily there till she was 3 1/2, then asked to switch back to her toddler bed. That time she loved it.
In conclusion, I say Lo should stay in her crib till you're all ready for her to move to a different bed!
The advice I have been given by sane moms who are normal and much savvier than me is that you leave the kid in the crib until it becomes a DANGER TO THEM. Period.
Leave her in the crib. You'll know when it's time to take her out, because there will be an Event -- she'll climb out, she'll demand it, SOMEthing.
Until then? Cribola, dude. Crib that kid! Crib that kid!
I'm pretty sure it's widely accepted for your kid to sleep in a crib until they're three. We moved my son when he was two and a half, only because he started climbing out AND because I was pregnant, so the movie was imminent, otherwise I would have tented the crap out of that thing. She's happy? You're happy? Keep her in the crib!
Keep her in the crib as long as she will let you! When she starts climbing out, or not sleeping well there anymore, you will know it's time. And you definitely have at least another year before it's on the outside of "normal". We didn't move baby #1 until she was over 3 and it was just to make room for baby #2. She was totally happy in the crib and would even climb IN on her own. It seems to me that potty training sometimes forces the issue as well, you'll get to a point where you will want her to be able to get up to pee, and then you'll know it's time to ditch the crib.
But at 2 1/2? You are FINE
Um, is it embarrassing to admit my son was in a crib til he was 3 and a half? I just didn't see any reason for to mess up the good thing we had going. My son is also very spirited and would wake us up all night when he had to sleep in a bed. No thanks. Unless she is literally throwing herself out then there is nooo way you need to deal with transitioning her into a bed! Seriously, you're more than okay!
I vote that if Lo is happy and you are happy and there is no other use for the crib, then by all means, keep the kid locked up in there. Move her to a big girl bed when she starts trying to climb out. Otherwise, enjoy your sleep!
I kept both of my boys sleeping in cribs until they were around three. Then they transferred to big boy beds with no problems at all. My daughter is the youngest, and I am keeping her penned up in the crib as long as I can. If your daughter's happy, there's no need to take her out of it yet. =)
We're moving B next weekend because his crib was recalled and because he has been asking for a big bed. He sleeps on a cot at daycare without any problems, so I think he's ready. I don't see any reason to move a kid if she isn't climbing out or asking for a big bed.
My son is just over two and we are committed to keeping him in the crib for a while. He loves it and I'm not ready to mess up a good thing to have him in a real bed. I think it's perfectly ok to keep Lo in a crib as long as it works for her!
I can't imagine how little someone must have going on their life to judge you for where your kid sleeps. Who WAS this person?
If the child is SLEEPING, then it's made of win. Put her in a big bed when she begins insisting that she has to have one or else she'll never sleep again. In the meantime, leave her in the crib and enjoy your rest!
My kids never slept in cribs. I got judged for that all over the place, too. So ridic. At least, they were sleeping! And so was I!
WHATEVER WORKS, is my motto.
We kept our daughter in her crib until she was three. She wasn't a climber so it just made sense. I say if Lo is happy, keep her there. Sleep is precious!
Heck yeah, leave her in the crib!
Have you seen the good nite nightlight? It saved us. We started using it with B in a crib...to teach him he can't get up until the sun comes up. Then once he 'got it' we moved to a bed. Just a thought. Here is a link to show you it. http://www.elleinadspir.com/2010/04/push-your-belly-button-and-then-your.html
We reluctantly moved our two year old out of her crib only after she demonstrated that she could sling her leg over it and launch herself out. Yeah, not safe.
My opinion: if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
My older two both moved out of the crib at 3.5. I would have been perfectly happy to keep them in cribs till 4 but we needed the crib for the next one each time.
I have read when they start crawling out is the time to think about moving them out of the crib. My kids went from the crib to bed early but they weren't sleeping in the crib and the sleep in the bed. I have heard of kids up to four in crib. Keep the crib and sleep.
I'm going to agree with most of these other comments. If she's happy and she's not climbing/falling out then leave her there. If you really feel pressured to put her in a big girl bed then try to find something that's enclosed. She probably feels secure in her enclosed space. Ikea has bed tents that you can put over a regular twin bed - it encloses it and it also blocks out some of the light so maybe she'd stay asleep.
Well, this is my parenting philosophy in a nutshell: Figure out what things are worth fighting for/over, and let the rest evolve naturally. With my daughter (also a second child), I tried to force her to leave the crib when she was about 2.5 (which was several months after the age at which my older son had dramatically jumped out the crib one day and spurred me to buy a big boy bed). I was a few months away from baby #3 and thought the timing was "perfect." Not so much...Suffice it to say that your experience is just a drop in the bucket to what I had - crying off and on all night for her "real bed." So we put it back up, she slept happily in it until she was 3 years old (baby was sleeping in a bassinet/pack n play) and then asked if we could go buy her big girl bed soon. The transition was smooth as silk. Lesson learned!
Do not rush it! If she is happy in the crib then enjoy it! We had my son in his crib until the month before his third bday when he decided he wanted a bed. A that point he understood limits and now, at almost 3.5, still doesn't get out of bed without us!
Unless she's flinging herself out of the crib like an acrobat at Cirque du Soleil, leave her in the place where she sleeps past 4AM for as long as she continues to sleep there comfortably...My oldest son never did sleep in a crib for more than a few hours (he is a terrible sleeper and thank heavens he eventually learned to read or I might have killed myself by now just to get some rest) - so I marvel at the concept of a child who sleeps there happily. I guess the old adage, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" would apply here.
Rory just turned 2 in Oct and we are moving her to a toddler bed in the next 2 weeks, but ONLY because she can climb out of the crib. Otherwise, I would be keeping her in the crib because she's starting to find her way over the baby gates and we have stairs.
My son is 2 1/2 and I plan on keeping him there until he's 12 or so.
He loves it. He's safe and happy. And until he climbs out on his own, it's where he'll stay.
Uh, my daughter will be 3 in two weeks and she is still happily sleeping in her crib! She has never once tried to escape, which for me, is kind of the litmus test for the "should they move to a big kid bed?" question.
Now, I'm starting to think about moving her, but she's been fine in the crib. If it ain't broke, yada yada.
I don't have helpful information for you. At 23 months, my son flat out refused to get into the crib one night. He tried to climb out, which was rather dangerous, so we slept on an air mattress on the floor that night. Next night, same thing. Next day? Bought a Malm bed at IKEA because it's quite low to the ground. He slept in it just fine. And to this day (he'll be 5 in April) he has never gotten out of bed except to go to the bathroom. We're lucky in that respect, I know!
My daughter refused to sleep in the crib starting at 13 months. She would SCREAM if we put her in, calm down when we took her out. So she's been sleeping on a mattress on the floor since then. We finally put the mattress up onto a bed just before Christmas.
So I have no advice, really. But if I had to choose, I'd say keep her in the crib, especially if she's still safe in there.
I am in pretty much the same situation, although my kids are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2. My older girl got moved into a big girl bed when her sister was about 6 months old, so she could have the crib. But, my older girl is also the type who will not get out of bed unless you COME GET HER. (It took until she was 3 1/2 until I finally convinced her that yes, she can get out of bed by herself, please for the love of God stop screaming Mommy, Mommy! in the middle of the night if you happen to wake up.) My younger daughter, however... I plan to keep her in that crib as long as possible, or until she decides to hurtle herself out of it. She's going to be the one I will need Super Nanny's help with to get her to stay in her bed without me screaming obscenities at her.
I say keep her in there as long as possible. If she's happy and you're happy (and sleeping!), why mess with a good thing.
I don't think there's anything wrong with her still sleeping in a crib. I know plenty of moms who keep their toddlers in cribs until they (and the kid) are ready. It's safer for them and if it gives you more sleep and peace of mind that she's contained ;) then I say go for it. We're planning to try for number 2 this in which case my Daughter will be 2.5 - 3 years old. I've considered keeping her in a crib and just buying another for the other baby so I don't have to worry.
I'm so glad you posted about this because I've been wondering the same thing about my 2 1/2 yr old. Most of the kids his age are already in toddler beds but I so am not ready for that. Bedtime is so easy right now, why hurt a good thing?? I'm glad I'm not the only one!
we kept our son in his as long as possible! he was around 4 when he moved into his "big boy bed." he felt safe & contained in the crib & we all got more sleep-- good deal all around. once he figured out how to climb/catapult himself out, we started fixing up his "big boy room" & he transitioned beautifully-- for us, waiting was just fine & we didn't encounter any issues making the switch.
Oh man...I feel your pain. I didn't so much before reading the comments but I do now. I moved my daughter into her own bed around 5. That's right out of a crib and into her own bed around 5. I pulled off the front of the crib and called it a "daybed" from 3 to 5 though...does that make me a better parent? And honestly, I kind of knew it was time for sure when I realized her feet and head were almost touching either end. Oh and I got "that look" from her kindergarten teacher when she found out. Yeah...that's when I knew it was time. And hey, Reagan turned out fine and therapy free (at least so far) so you've got years to go in my book.
My daughter was three when she went in a bed - and she was the size of a four year old. She never tried to get out, or complain about being in a crib, so I thought, why fix it if it ain't broke?
We moved so had to dismantle the crib and then we converted it to a toddler bed in the new house. I was tempted to keep her in a crib, but knewI had to face the inevitable at some point. We have never been a 'family bed' type of family, so had to do some 'stay in your own bed training'.
My vote is keep her in there as long as she isn't trying to escape - and if that isn't until she five.....awesome!
The crib we got for our son converted into a toddler bed. We moved to a new house when he was just a wee touch older than 2, and decided to put the bed back together as the "big boy bed" rather than the crib, new house-new bed. It worked for us, but I can totally see where it would not. Also of note--several of my friends have their 2 1/2 year olds in cribs still, and they are not worried about it. The toddler bed thing will happen when it happens. My mom said in her generation, they switched either 1) upon the arrival of a sibling, like you said, or 2) when they were able to climb out of the crib, thereby defeating the purpose of it. Hope this helps, I'd be skittish too, in fact, we should have been MORE skittish.
I'm late to comment but this was a BIG deal for us. Or rather, I should say everyone we knew thought we were freaks.
We kept my son in his crib until he was 3 years and 3 months old. He also had a crib tent (which he very lovingly called a fort). Before you call the Mom Freak police on me.
If she loves her crib...no reason to move her.
My "Sleep Bible" (aka Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) says people often move kids too soon. And the crib tent? BEST INVENTION EVER!
Good luck!
Best,
Tina
Girl, I am still trying to get my 3 1/2 year-old out of MY bed. ;-)
Honest to God - I REMEMBER sleeping in my crib. I was almost five. That's a tad too long. I understand now that my folks didn't have much money or room, so they did what they had to do. On the other hand, when they finally did move me into a Big Girl Bed, they eventually had to put up hospital rails because I kept falling out of bed. I'm 36 and still don't let my mom forget about this. But I agree with the others, keep her in there if it's working for everyone.
:) Loved this one.
My son was three when he moved out of his cot. Maybe 3 and a bit.
If you have any lingering doubts over being a Bad Mum because your child is still in a cot... well, my son is 3 and a half now and still in a highchair. And he will be staying there too until he stops smearing his food all over the tray.
We moved Haley out of her crib just after her second birthday and she did great. Noah turned two in October and we have NO PLANS to move him anytime soon. Different kids, different needs. If it's working, leave it alone!
I, the woman who has no kids and no babysitting experience, say you should definitely move her out of a crib before she starts having sleepovers in gradeschool. I'm guessing you'll have myriad other chances to send her into therapy, so don't sweat this one.
I say as long as she is happy and sleeping well, leave her in the crib. My daughter was in a crib with a Cozy Crib Tent (ok -- we'll just call it jail) until at least three. The original purpose of the crib tent was to keep the cat (with claws) out of the crib when she was an infant, but became even more useful when at 18 months the child morphed into a circus perfomer, swinging from the rafters. Everyone sleeps better knowing his/her child is safe. She stayed in it until she could undo the zipper herself, and really liked the coziness of it. I wouldn't mind one myself some days :)
Lila will be 2 in a month (OMFG), and she's still in her crib. She's staying there until she tries to escape, which knockonwood, she hasn't yet. My niece was climbing out around 22 months, so I thought we'd be there now, but we're not.
I dread the day she figures out she can get out, b/c she's...well, she's determined, to put it politely.
I was thinking how funny it is that your relative would think it was SOOOO crazy that a 2.5 year old is still in a crib. . .but then I thought about the fact that I think my sister is absolutely NUTS that she still lets her almost-6-year-old suck her thumb and carry around her "lovey" (read: DIS.GUST.ING old ratty tank top of my sister's that she STILL carries around. Ew.). So that made me think: maybe some people would be like "What? I sucked my thumb until I was in junior high" or something? So who knows. All I know is that to me, 2-year-old = still a baby. My 5 year old moved into a "big girl" bed when she was just barely 3. Which only happened because we were moving into a new house and I figured we might as well make both transitions at once. I also had a one-month-old at the time, but that wasn't a concern because somehow we had ended up with two cribs. Looking back, I'm serious when I say that I wish I had taken advantage of the two cribs kept the older one in it even longer. I know it sounds crazy, but seriously. We haven't had a peaceful night's sleep since she left the crib, and it isn't because of the baby. To me, big girl bed = can get out at will and wander into mom and dad's room (and, incidentally, stand at your bedside staring at you like something out of Children of the Corn until you wake up and nearly have a heart attack) EVERY FREAKING NIGHT.
So, in sum. Keep her in the crib as long as she'll let you! When she tells you she wants a big girl bed, then you can worry about it. And tell your relatives that all leading pediatricians agree that the longer a kid stays in a crib, the higher their IQ will be. ;)
We kept Maggie in her crib until just a few months before she turned three. Not so much because she was... spirited ;) but because she simply didn't seem to mind it! She never tried to climb out and she apparently was very fond of her cage. heh And I was content to keep her locked up as long as possible!
But eventually, she WAS getting kinda big for it and we knew it was time. I kept a baby gate on her bedroom door for a while, just so she wouldn't be wandering the halls at night, because I really didn't feel like waking up and having her STARING AT ME. LOL
I didn't take my daughters pacifier away until she was 2 1/2... and received HORRIFIED looks from, well, everyone.
I *did* however, move my daugher (the second born - and the "pistol" of the family), to a "big girl bed" around 2 yrs 4 mos. The reason? My pediatrician told me to hurry up, because the closer to she got to the age of three, the more trouble she'd give us (never WANTING to leave the crib).
We didn't want to risk it. *Gulp*
My tall son was in the crib until he was three. and I have a friend with an even taller daughter. She was in the crib (with the sides down) until she was 4! just go with the flow!
I say, leave her in the crib until it becomes dangerous in some way or until she really wants a bed. My son was in the crib until 3 and 1/2. My daughter got a bed at 2 and 1/2 because she was climbing out of the crib.
Leave her in as long as she'll stand it! My first daughter was moved to the big girl bed only because I was 6 months pregnant with my second. My mother in law said that my husband (last of 5 kids) was in his crib until he was SIX!!!
It all depends on the kid. I have 3 boys. I kept each of them in the crib until they could climb out themselves, which is when I felt it was getting dangerous. DS #1 was... um... 2 and change, DS#2 was younger, not quite 2 as I recall. DS#3 is still in the crib but he's just a baby still. So I say, she won't still be in a crib when she goes to kindergarten, until then just keep on keepin on!
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