If you follow me on Twitter, you know I had a full-on Episode last night, upon seeing what I have come to determine is the worst commercial ever made:
I caught it on TV, and promptly fell down a YouTube Wormhole of Horror, filled with repeat viewings, things I cannot unknow (the characters have actual names, and they are Sean and Lisa), and YouTube comments I cannot unsee ("Thanks for showing me my dream man/dream proposal!!!!!" "This made my uterus smile." "I now have a cupboard full of Fancy Feast......and I don't even have a cat!!! lol."
Obviously, I have some questions.
1. Really?
2. No, like, really? For rill, rill.
3. Okay, well. When did Shia LeBeouf get so old?
4. Why does his girlfriend think a spangled halter top and a spangled-yet-mumsy-cardigan pair well together?
5. Is she...YES. She's more excited to see the cat than her parents. That's...something.
6. When you bring a guy home for dinner to meet your parents, do you all refrain from speaking, and simply exchange Meaningful Looks Whilst Chewing? Is this a thing now?
7. Because, I mean, to me, that would be a weird date, and I say that having been ambushed into a date by a guy, driven across state lines, introduced to his family, and then serenaded by him with an original song entitled "Pleasure Me Orally."
8. TRUE STORY.
9. The way Shia is staring at either the mom or the cat is...well, it's unwholesome, is what it is. But WHICH ONE IS IT? Mystery! Or MEOWstery! (Okay, I'll stop now.)
10. I'm so glad Shia has redecorated that extra room as a Cat Room. It's both relatable and a clever use of space.
11. Painting it burnt orange is smart and necessary, since everyone knows that's the official Cat Favorite Color! (What?)
12. A goddamn fabric couch to accent Cat Room. Well, that's just straight-up nonsense.
13. OMG HE HUNG UP A PICTURE OF A CAT IN CAT ROOM. JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN'T SURE WHERE YOU WERE.
14. Why is she so surprised about Cat Room? Even if they weren't living together, you're telling me she NEVER came over? Never saw Cat Room in the making?
15. Fine. FINE. So we'll just SUPPOSE he closed the door while he was making Cat Room a reality. YOU wouldn't be weirded out if your significant other had a secret room he didn't let you enter? Are we in some crazypants cat-themed Merchant-Ivory adaptation?
16. WILL YOU MARRY US. OMFG.
17. Well, at least we know who Shia was creepily ogling before.
18. Worst. Commercial. Ever.
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27 comments:
Sing it, sister!!! I hate that fucking commercial and I have three goddamn cats.
14/15: She was clearly away on a business trip so he took the opportunity to make Cat Room during her absence.
(He painted it orange because it's HER favorite color DUH)
I, well, I can't believe I'm admitting this for all of the internet to read, but here goes. I once had a boyfriend who called home and left messages on an answering machine for his cat. HIS CAT. HIS MOTHER EFFING CAT. Like, if he was going to be home late or something. More embarrassing than that is the fact that I continued to date him for quite some time after that point. This commercial reminds me of him in a not very good way every time I see it.
I do actually have a cupboard of Fancy Feast because it's all my cat will eat...and well, she's just going to have to make do with something else as I cannot support this.
DISTURBING.
No fucking way.
I mean, I have a few things to say. First, I wish I'd been on Twitter to hear all about this business last night. Secondly, this is all sorts of awesome, and by awesome, I mean terribly. Finally, I will now settle for nothing less than a man making me and my cat a fucking cat room when he proposes.
P.S. Can't wait to meet you for rillz next week! Whee!
Dude. The room isn't a CAT room, see. It's for all three of them! To cuddle and ... scratch the fabric sofa together! (That only sounds like a euphemism for something, DIRTY MIND.)
Geez, Metalia. You clearly don't deserve a man who would have a cat tag engraved with "Will you marry us?". (Do you think they'd keep the tag? To remember that day forever? Maybe the cat roams the neighborhood, proposing polygMEOWmy to random people?"
I LOVE this commercial. LOVE. I laughed for about 20 solid minutes after I saw it for the first time. It is so bad I can't quite believe it is real (how could they not KNOW how bad it is? I am suspicious).
I keep gleefully clicking on the button that says 'this ad is relevant to me' (HAAA!) so that Hulu plays it basically every time I watch something, now.
My husband has made these exact same points & hates the commercial too. Plus have you noticed how LONG it is? It's like a mini-movie.
I can't get over how hard a time she has handing the damn cat back to her parents when they leave. Why isn't Boyfriend running for the hills? HOW DOES HE FIND THIS ENDEARING?
I would like an SNL parody where the look he gives the cat is one of vengeance and embarks on a mission to destroy the cat and all he stands for.
I fear this commercial because my boyfriend is the catlady in our relationship, and I think he might get ideas.
I have only seen this commercial once. And I was sitting on the couch with my sister and I was all "WAIT. WHAT?" And we went back to watch it again to see how effing ridiculous it is!
I HATE THAT COMMERCIAL! And I'm a crazy cat lady!
Oh thank you for this! Due to a variety of factors I rarely come into contact with commercials anymore, and sometimes I miss finding little gems of horror like this! My day is a little better now...
A CAT PROPOSAL! This is the best. I'm going to randomly crack up all day.
So I witnessed that commerical last night as well. And thought is was dang cheesy. And the comment my husband makes at the end? "Isn't that kitten cute?? Can WE get one????" So yeah.
I'm pregnant, and that one shot where the kitten is looking up and bats it's little paw in the ear gets me everytime. Tears leak out, and I cannot help it. (My husband and I are crazy cat people.)
I saw this the other day and absolutely had no idea what was going on. I thought *I* was insane. Your discussion of it is excellent. LOL
Steph
HAAA! I had not seen this!
"The best ingredient is love."
EWWWWWWH.
Also: I maintain (my love for him, yes! and) the real Shia LaBeouf would never propose marriage with a cat collar. He might propose marriage to his mother, but NEVER with a cat collar.
OMG!! I can never unwatch this! Aaaaaaarg!
If he really loved her he'd move her sweet cat from her parents' house. How can he replace Perfect White Cat with New White Cat? Doesn't he understand?
Ugh. Cats.
I hope it was a rescue cat.
Please tell me no one really said "my uterus just smiled." I do not want to live in a world where people say things like that.
Someone needs to edit in an ending where a crazy cat lady/Miss. Havisham version of girl wakes up in the future in the same room (now very run down) and reaches over to the other side of her bed to stroke the taxidermied remains of her beloved cat with no husband in sight.
What Clara said - I got the feeling that the cat at the parents' house was actually HER cat that she left behind when she went off to college ... so why did he get her a REPLACEMENT cat?
Whoa ... I'm thinking about this a tad too hard ...
I guess this is crazy cat lovers answer to all of those Kay's jewelry proposal commercials. Personally, I am just REALLY disturbed by the way that guy looks at the cat. If I was the fiancee, I would NOT leave them home alone together. I think he's a catophile.
P.S. I love the alternate ending suggested by Anonymous!
Until I read your analysis I was mostly disturbed by the fact he thought he could replace her beloved cat with a kitten that looked similar. Pets aren't interchangeable! Of course, now I'm way more disturbed by the commercial. I actually dated a guy once for a few months and finally asked what was in the basement, since the door was always closed and when I offered to get something he always hastily got it for me. Turns out it was just messy. Whew!
That commercial would have been awesome if they had just ended it at 0:24 after he looked at the cat with jealousy and disdain as they were leaving her parents' house.
"The Best Ingredient is Love....and Filler"
I have seen some pretty awesome Halloween costume but these are really cute..looking so different and cute...
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